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"Snake and the Spider Lady"
Chapter Twenty-Two of a novel
by Claude Hall
It was one of those beautiful days that Manhattan
occasionally provides the public in order to keep the
last remaining vestiges from moving up to Westchester,
out to New Jersey, further out on Long Island.
Birds in Central Park were going absolutely nutty with
noises, each trying to out sing the others in beauty
and quality. Trees had just begun to turn green. New
tuffs of grass were fighting for sunlight. It was
still slightly cool, but the coolness only added a
pleasant feeling to the air so that it was good to
take a deep breath.
King's team, the Afro-Bandits, was slated to play
first against a team called Cherry Pickers Delight.
He was surprised when Snake walked over to the row of
the bleachers where the team was sitting.
"Can I sit here with you guys?"
"I thought you were going on a cruise!" said King.
"And miss a good basketball game? Not in your
lifetime, old friend. What I actually said was that
I'd bought tickets for a cruise. And about now Rudy's
mother, Pearl, and Wekser should be reaching the Grand
Caymans. They're probably having a glorious trip.
Wouldn't mind doing that sort of thing myself some day
when I retire."
"You've been gone for several days."
"Some of Noreiga's old friends down in Panama were
stirring up trouble. I drifted down there to see what
it was all about."
Montague scooted over to make room for Snake.
"Came to see us beat these guys, huh?"
"I just hope that a certain 11-year-old isn't on the
other team," said Snake to Montague. "If he is, we're
in trouble."
Elephant walked over.
"Only team members can sit here," he told Snake.
"He's our coach," said Rudy. To Snake: "The man
becomes a referee and goes power mad."
"It's okay then," said Elephant.
"How's your side, Elephant?"
"It was only a bullet wound," said Elephant and walked
back toward center court.
"Elephant takes a lot of understanding," Snake told
Rudy. "And maybe a few years or so."
A youth about 20 years old with shaved head walked out
to the center of the court. He was wearing a sweat
shirt. He seemed vastly uncomfortable standing there,
waiting for the audience in the two bleachers on
either side of the court to grow quiet.
He was having considerable trouble getting anyone's
attention.
Just then, a uniformed officer came down out of the
stands, weaving his way between sitting people, and
went out to stand beside the youth. It was Foley. He
waved his night stick and the stands finally became
fairly quiet.
"I want you to know that I understand about Micheal
Jordon," King told Snake. "Why you couldn't get him
to come to the game. He probably gets $20,000 for
just a personal appearance."
"More than that, I would suspect," said Snake. "I'm
afraid that even Caraboo's expense account couldn't
handle Mike's fee. I'm sure Caraboo tried."
"Yeah. I can dig that."
The youth shook Foley's hand. Foley went back up into
the bleachers.
"I'm Ahmed Jamal," said the youth in the sweat shirt.
"Welcome to the Central Park Classic, which we hope
will become an annual event. Today, we have a double
header for you: The Rattlesnakes against the Cherry
Pickers Delight, followed by the Bronx Raspberries
against the Southside Double Dunkers. Before we start
this tournament, which will feature a staggered
best-of-seven with winners advancing toward the finals
sometimes this summer and losers still having
opportunity to, quote, make a comeback later in the
tournament, I'd like to introduce the person who has
been behind everything since the very first day–Kareem
Washington. King would you stand up?"
King, somewhat embarrassed, stood up and made a casual
wave with one hand. It was easy to see that he was
pleased at being recognized.
"Well," said Snake. "Isn't it amazing how things work
out."
"Doesn't mean anything," King said quickly.
"Okay, you guys," said Elephant, walking over toward
the bench. "Game time."
"Totally power mad," Rudy said to Snake, gesturing at
Elephant.
King and Montague and their team gathered at center
court along with members of the Cherry Pickers
Delight.
"You forgot the ball," King told Elephant.
"Some referee," said Rudy.
Elephant sneered at him. "Don't you know that a
legitimate game requires two referees? I've asked an
old college buddy of mine to help me out."
Michael Jordan, wearing a referee's shirt and carrying
a basketball, eased between the players into the
center circle.
He stepped forward for the toss up.
"Let's play ball," said Michael Jordan.
- 30 -
NEW NOVEL
"Down on the Corner of Earth"
STARTS NEXT WEEK.
(continued next week)
e-mail claude@claudehallonline.com
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January 17, 2005
Commentary
by
Claude Hall
Art is the greatest
treasure that we have. Not
necessarily the items themselves--though I, indeed,
enjoy good music, a good movie, a good book, a
beautiful building, the glow of the sun in the
afternoon sky behind a towering Texas thunderhead.
But the ability to appreciate that which is beautiful,
uplifting, pleasurable. This morning, I listened to
Willie Nelson's "Maria (Shut Up and Kiss Me)" with Rob
Thomas and Bill Evans. Great song, as is Willie's
version of "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" with Vince
Gill.
One of our most wonderful gifts is the ability to not
only create good music, but enjoy it. Earlier, I'd
listened to some Bob Dylan songs and realized, once
again, the artistic genius of the man.
Just a while ago, Barbara and I watched a movie called
"Hero" with Jet Li that I hope you have opportunity to
see. The story seems slight, though it is not in the
final analysis. The acting is good. The filmwork is
good. However, the reason the movie is worth seeing
is that it is a pure work of art. The movie, in
effect, is akin to a great painting. I must admit
that I'm no expert when it comes to films. I don't
even see that many and, quite frankly, would often
rather go back and watch an old movie that I've seen
quite a few times before. "Finding Forrester" I just
saw again a few days ago and some of the John Wayne
films will never grow old with me, i.e., "She Wore a
Yellow Ribbon" which I saw once again yesterday. And
"The Quiet Man" is one of my favorites, as is "Angel
and the Badman." Take my word for it, rent "Hero" and
watch it and if you don't like it you can drop me a
note calling me a dirty skunk.
Perry Allen,
fnortney@adelphia.net: "I am constantly
and redundantly dazzled at the absolute brilliance of
your writing. Please never stop. You add such color
to a fading life...and it's much appreciated."
Jay Blackburn,
radiojdb@satx.rr.com: "The Queen has a
new project in California. So we'll be coming through
Las Vegas often. I'm not happy about leaving my house,
on the other hand, I did drag Chance around for years.
Turn about is fair play?" Jay also mentioned he had a
new Dell. And he sent me a picture of me, Bruce
Miller Earle, and himself. Three radio renegades, eh!
Jay, you and Chance do come through Vegas and have
time for coffee, you're always welcome at the Hall
Palatial Estate, Humingbird Palace and Apricot
Orchard, 2563 Paradise Village Way. Friends come
through the patio door. Only strangers use the front
door of this place. Just FYI, unlike your palace down
there in the Hill Country, this one has no marble
stairway.
Still getting a response now and then to the promo I
sent out regarding the launching of my next
novel--"Down on the Corner of Earth"--on this website
next week. I.e., the notes below from Bob Green and
Bunny Sheehan. You want to know what my major problem
is with such promos? You have to send them virtually
one at a time because of bulk blockers. Now and then,
I'd like to mention something not in my website, but
sending out one item at a time becomes prohibitive.
And then there are a few guys around who don't receive
emails except from people who're on a list. Why I
don't know. People like that, I probably don't want
to send anything anyway. Matter of fact, I think
they're being unnecessarily pretentious.
Bob Green,
heard@bobgreenproductions.com: "Many thanks
for sending this...I do try & look in on your site at
least once a week. The wonderfully visual images in
your stories (from this rincon de nuestra planeta o
qualquier historia que Vd. escribe) likely stem from
being one of the radio people who understood that
radio was, potentially, the most visual medium.
Warmest regards for the New Year."
Linda Sheehan,
lindaladin@hotmail.com: "I printed the
first 7 pages to read in the car tomorrow as we head
down to Mass. to reserve a mini cooper for spring."
Larry Shannon,
larryshannon@radiodailynews.com: "By
the way, I was talking with Henry Kavet on Friday. He
rediscovered you via your website. I suggested that
he send you an e-note to let you know that he's out
there. He's in New Jersey. FYI, his contact info is:
Henry Kavett, kavett@aol.com.
WYD MediaManagement,
LLC 'The Stephanie Miller Show'."
I don't know if "The Stephanie Miller Show" is on
radio or TV, but I always get a kick when I hear about
people doing well. Good on you, Henry!
Ian Wright,
ianshome@iinet.net.au: "Hello, Claude.
from hot South Australia and New Year greetings to
you and yours. Yes, I would be interested in
purchasing a CD dub of your Ron Jacobs KGB interview
for market price. Now you say, well Ian what do you
consider 'market price'? To which my reply is the
average of what the first 10 American respondees offer
plus postage & handling. In my case I'll end up
paying around 25% more anyhow when the currency
conversion is done. As I already have purchased Ron's
book on KHJ from him last year, the KGB audio content
and time frame would be very complimentary. Claude, if
you'll let me know the final verdict/price I'll then
confirm my definite 'go' on the purchase. I figure I
need to say that just in case you get some ridiculous
offers which blow me out of the water!!! This is my
34th year in Australian commercial radio and I
continue to enjoy your articles at RadioDailyNews and
at your site. If you're talking to Ron please pass on
my regards. By the way, I recently exchanged emails
with KHJ's former Production Manager/Engineer Bill
Mouzis, a spritely 82 years young and a gentleman! By
the way, I'm turning 51 on Wednesday. January 12,
along with one Howard Stern...what does that say
about Capricorns?"
Ron Jacobs, whodaguy@lava.net:
"Claude, please send
me your phone number again. Would love to discuss
everything, but I'll be damned if I'll spend an hour
typing out my thoughts! :-' ) (That is my patented
tongue-in-cheek smiley face!) If the Rams lose, I
will call you sometime after Passover. Aloha you
guys."
Ian, just so you'll know: I finally got up the gump to
phone an old friend of mine and, yes, he's willing to
dub a couple of dozen cassettes onto CDs for me. It's
an imposition on him, but I've probably imposed on
many, many friends over the years. And, fortunately,
most of them haven't told me to go to hell. Yet. It
was my first phone call in more than a year. This
surprised the devil out of my beautiful bride of more
than 40 years and the old friend, too! I'm sitting
here with two cassettes featuring interviews with Bill
Drake and three cassettes featuring interviews with
Ron Jacobs. I think there are more in the house, if
and when I get to look. I'm going to send these to
this buddy of mine, along with an interview with Bob
Nolan that I did and one with Stu Hamblen and one with
M.G. Kelly. I've also got cassettes of interviews
with Gordon McLendon, Bill Stewart, Gene Autry, Chuck
Blore, George Wilson, and others around. Including a
cassette of me with Don Imus and Robert W. Morgan,
although I don't think I'd call it an interview; have
you ever heard the LP "12,000 Hamburgers to Go" on
RCA?
Anyway, after a few abortive attempts, I also talked
with Ron Jacobs. Our conclusion is that more than
likely not enough people really care about what was
done way back when to make marketing these interviews
worthwhile. I do want to preserve them, thus I do
want to get them on CD although the great Hawaiian
guru pointed out to me that we don't know if the CD
will be around any longer than the cassette was. We
do, indeed, live in a changing world. Ron Jacobs, by
the way, has turned over some of his tapes to
ReelRadio.com. Find the site. Find your way to Ron
Jacobs. Listen to the work of a master!
Life got a little nuts for a while many years ago.
Especially when we moved to Oklahoma so I could pursue
a master's degree. Everything got jammed into boxes
that I could take with me and a garage full of
airchecks on reels got tossed. Today, I honestly
lament throwing those away, along with boxes and boxes
of copies of Billboard in which I'd written articles
and Vox Jox over 14 years. But I had little choice
about the matter. Can you visualize a stack of 728
copies of Billboard and we ran a lot of special
sections in those days and those magazines were thick
and heavy? I kept a few, of course. And some of
these featured three articles by me on the front page.
I was one prolific writer in those days. In
retrospect, Billboard certainly got their money's
worth out of me. Funny thing is that most radio
readers thought I only did the Vox Jox column. That's
all they remember anyway.
Today, meandering through a box of cassettes, stuff I
took with me, I found a copy of the first Rick Dees
show on KHJ in Los Angeles, April 1978 or 1979. And
here's an interview with Casey Kasem that has to date
back to the 1970s. Some notes on cassette with Mike
Reineri, Jim Gallant, and Al Anderson, then on WIOD in
Miami. And here's a cassette of the K101 Amateur Hour
in San Francisco. Lord! Remember Windy City
Airchecks? Here's a cassette of AM and PM drive in
Chicago. Other cassette interviews with Bill Drake,
Bob Nolan, Bill Ballance, Stu Hamblen, Ron Jacobs. I
even discovered a cassette Ron sent me of his 1972 KGB
"Recycle Documentary." Afraid to play it now. Those
sponge pads on Memorex cassettes didn't survive well.
How about a cassette interview with M.G. Kelly when he
was on KHJ in 1977; I still remember M.G. Kelly in
that Clint Eastwood movie. Is M.G. still around? And
I found a cassette of Barbara interviewing me for an
article about radio station promotions. This article
idea had been accepted by Playboy magazine; I didn't
have time to write the article and she did. They
fired the editor, though, before we got the article
done and the new guy nixed it. So, we added some
stuff and it became a book titled "This Business of
Radio Programming."
I have no idea of why I kept some of these cassettes.
Must have been a reason at the time. For example,
here's a copy of the country music panel at the NAB
convention in Chicago in 1976. Also, I have Barney
Keep's last show on KEX. Some of this stuff is
historic. Some is evidently not so much. Also found
airchecks of the Larry Black Show and the Mario Flores
show. I hope Mario did well. Nice guy, Mario. Larry
Black, too. Both old men by now. Grandfathers.
Maybe one day soon I'll write about Mario.
Sharon Sharpe,
sharpecommunications@msn.com: "I may
pass on your note to Dick LaPalm. He has few words in
his emails, but we are starting to communicate and I
will keep you updated. I am also asking him who he
would recommend to transfer tapes to a digital format.
Mom found a trunk of tapes when they moved and I think
we have Dad on air. I, too, am concerned with
listening to them until they are transfered for
archival puposes. I'll let you know what he says. He
is still big in jazz recording and should have access
to people in the know on this. I think your
recordings of Dad and Gordon McLendon would be quite
valuable for the record and hope we can get them
transfered and transcribed. Since I was not in radio
in Dad's day, I can only approaach it as my training
requires--as a documentarian. And there is such a
wealth of primary sources for the record that he left
us. If and when this book starts to get moving, I
will probably want to talk to you about arranging to
excerpting from these interviews as the book will
primarily be--for the record--what exists in papers,
letters, promotional notes and materials, interviews
(both new and old) that tell his story."
Sharon is the daughter of the late Bill Stewart.
Tom Quigley,
tomquigley2@yahoo.com, a Joey Reynolds
fan, phoned my son John to mention that Joey's mother
had died in Buffalo, NY. Seems Tom was listening to
Joey on the radio when he heard him talk about the
services. I met the lady when Joey invited me and
Barbara to catch Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in
Buffalo once. No, she did not go to the show. But we
went to see her first.
Bill Kingman, tahoe61@juno.com:
"Thanks for the intro
to Down on the Corner of Earth. I don't want to miss
more, so here's my new email address:
tahoe61@juno.com
Happy new year!"
Walter Sabo also send me his new email:
walter@sabomedia.com.
Then, a note from Burt Sherwood,
bohical@comcast.net:
"Claude...what is going on? I see Kent Burkhart is in
Larry's radio daily...but I do not find you there.
Hope all is well."
I emailed Burt that Larry is kind enough to place a
link to my website each Monday. After that, you have
to tap into
www.claudehallonline.com. Quite a few
people have my site bookmarked, including the
legendary George Wilson. When George Wilson has you
bookmarked, it's indeed an honor! I mentioned once to
George that a guy in Kansas City named Richard
Fatherley was trying to rewrite Top 40 radio. He
remarked, "Who the hell is Richard Fatherley? Never
heard of him." I'm still laughing about that one.
George Pollard,
gpollard@ccs.carleton.ca: "Thanks for
sending along the chapter from 'Down on the Corner of
Earth'. Good reading from an exceptional 'righter'.
I'll be surfing by to get caught up with the rest of
the novel. A question, if I might. Vox Jox. What do
you know of its origin as the title of the radio
section for Billboard? My sense is it predated your
time as editor, but am not sure. Do you have any idea
when Billboard dropped Vox Jox? As you know, it's now
called 'Programming' and lacks the vitality of your
days. Any input, at your leisure, would be most
appreciated. All the best for 2005. Keeping on
writing. Take care."
If Billboard has dropped the column Vox Jox, I'm
disappointed. It was started in the 40s by Joe
Carlton, then with Billboard, later a well-known music
publisher and indie record man. Jerry Wexler then
wrote the column for a while before leaving to join
Atlantic Records. I must confess that I haven't seen
a copy of Billboard in years.
John Hall,
johnalexhall@gmail.com: "I picked up
another Jerry Garcia concert CD. His estate has
gotten its act together and is releasing them over the
internet. I will bring the stuff over to you when I
make my next visit."
OTHER MATTERS
The United States has become evil. With a dark soul.
There is no valid raison d'etre, although the
incidents that indicate this "dark soul" are virtually
too numerous to mention. Today, Jan. 9, 2005, the
military in Iraq apologized for bombing the wrong
house in Mosul and killing five ordinary people, a
family (CNN Headline News, 9:40 a.m. PT). A 500-pound
bomb was used. That's enough explosive power to level
the entire complex of around 175 townhouses where
Barbara and I live. And some homes across the street
beyond the wall.
Then, a soldier who forced two Iraqis to jump from a
bridge to their deaths in the Tigris River received
only six months in prison. Anyone does that
stateside, he goes to the needle man. The soldier,
however, was found not guilty of manslaughter. I
suppose the court-martial decided the two Iraqis died
from the measles on the way down.
It is a hard thing to realize we are not only wrong in
invading Iraq--it was announced yesterday that the
search for weapons of mass destruction proved
fruitless and has been ended--but are now absolute
villains worse than found in a Stephen King horror
novel. Even more foul is that the horror story
continues; you don't wake up suddenly and find it was
only a nightmare. Buchenwald calls our soldiers
"brave" and "heroes." A mockery of the English
language as well as a mockery of reason and sanity.
To the contrary. Heroes do not kill women and
children.
Here, the dust of Las Vegas grows on you. You get
used to it. Barbara and I live in a pleasant townhome
complex with more trees and shrubbery and grass than
is allowed here these days and slowly we are moving
toward rock. Rock, gravel, a solitary weed is
mandatory at most of the newer places. I hope we never
go that full distance here. Palms and towering pines
and even olive trees keep back the dust. But thinking
about dust today, I recalled why grandmothers were
once so necessary to this world. My grandmother Pearl
Smith, God bless her, scared the hell out of me with
the book of Revelations in the Bible. But she also
taught me to wash my hands. When you came in from
play or from the field on the old farm in the sandy
land of central Texas, there was a small wash basin on
the porch bench by the kitchen door. A piece of
handmade soap that could take your skin off if you
rubbed too hard was there on that old, unpainted
bench. A towel that grew quite soiled during the day
hung from a nail on the wall. You washed your hands
clean or you didn't eat. And this kindly old lady who
believed the Bible too much and w a little too
overweight would check your hands, too. Grandmothers.
It's a pity that grandmothers have gone out of style.
You don't find many of them around today. Maybe
that's one of the real problems with the world. Iraq
and the lack of real grandmothers.
Of course, I'm not sure that, now, we'll ever be able
to wash our hands of Iraq. Our hands are soiled
beyond cleaning and we and our children and their
children will suffer from a "dark soul" for
generations to come.
e-mail claude@claudehallonline.com
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