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02/17/2002
(This was Art's last R &
I column. On the day that it was published, he suffered a stroke and
never recovered)
R&I
I LOVE A GUY WITH THREE
FIRST NAMES: David Clayton-Thomas. Anchorman for Blood Sweat
and Tears, one of the Best Rock / Jazz groups to satisfy their audience and
command a loyal following for 30 + years.
Saturday night at the Reno
Hilton Theatre. A great place for a concert. Big enough to hold a
crowd. Small enough not to intimidate. Last time I saw Blood Sweat
and Tears was at the Jazz Pavilion at Summerfest in Milwaukee WI. I
wondered if they had changed?
The stage lights dimmed as
a backdrop of twinkling stars took their place. Eight musicians
stretched across either side of a large set of drums placed on a very high
pedestal. From the first note, the energy radiated made
"eight" sound like twenty. David strolled out to centerstage
and treated us to his opening song, "Spinning Wheel."
His powerful voice vibrated across the room. As the applause died down, he
invited us to join at the chorus of "Heidi Ho." That's
when I turned to Bobbi and said: "These guys don't fool around!"
Then quietly wondered what the last song would be?
David and BS&T
performed all there hits. They have chalked up enough to fill an hour
and a half of solid BS&T music. Their bragging rights boast Five
Grammy Awards, selling over Twenty Million Albums and CD's. The real
treat is in seeing them perform. If they come to your area ... don't
miss 'em. Goosebumps Junction.
Their last song was
"God Bless The Child." But wait a minute. When the song
was over they all walked off the stage, while the audience remained on their
feet, cheering. (Nobody announced "David has left the
building.") I felt an encore. BS&T returned to the stage
and took their places. David thanked the audience, introduced the band, and
treated us to one more song ...
"You Made Me So Very
Happy."
Art Roberts
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE ACADEMY AWARD BIG THREE:
Best Picture:
In the Bedroom
A Beautiful Mind
The Lord of the Rings
Gosford Park
Moulin Rouge
Best Actor:
Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind)
Sean Penn (I Am Sam)
Will Smith (Ali)
Denzel Washington (Training Day)
Tom Wilkinson (In the Bedroom)
Best Actress:
Halle Berry (Monster's Ball)
Judi Dench (Iris)
Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge)
Sissy Spacek (In the Bedroom)
Renée Zellweger (Bridget Jones's Diary)
HERE COMES THE COMPETITION: Sirius Satellite
Radio threw their hat in the Satellite arena last Thursday, broadcasting 100%
commercial-free, digital quality music channels in Jackson, MS; Houston,
TX; Phoenix, AZ; and Denver, CO. Word is Sirius won't
cover the country until the fall.
In a move to help grow its subscriber base, XM Satellite Radio
announced a joint marketing agreement with DirecTV. Their customers will
be offered XM in value-added packages.
ROOM FOR ONE MORE?? Move over Rush, Dr. Laura,
Howard ... looks like BILL Maher is thinking about becoming a syndicated radio
talk show host. Does the Radio world really need this??
Even though the talk-radio arena is pretty crowded, Bill's
viewpoint and focus will probably remain leaning to the left ... an opinion
platform that has been vacated by most of today's Talk-Radio performers.
Go get 'em Bill. There's always room for a talent.
LAST TIME IN OUR LIFETIME: As the clock ticks
over from 8:01PM on Wednesday, February 20th, 2002, time will (for sixty
seconds only) read in perfect symmetry. To be more precise: 20:02,
20/02, 2002. It is an event, which has only ever happened once before,
and is something which will never be repeated. The last occasion that
time read in such a symmetrical pattern was long before the days of the
digital watch (or the 24-hour clock): 10:01AM, on January 10, 1001. And
because the clock only goes up to 23.59, it is something that will never
happen again.
WE LOST SOME FRIENDS:
Bob Wooler was born in Liverpool, worked on the docks, had a
popular Skiffle Group, met John Lennon in the late 50's and became his friend
and advisor, and helped the Beatles get started after their tour of Hamburg,
Germany in 1960. He also worked as a Disc Jockey. Bob Wooler died
at the Royal Liverpool Hospital after a long illness. He was 76.
Luckenbach, Texas mourns. So do his fans worldwide.
Waylon Jennings, who cheated "The Grim Reaper" once when he
gave up his seat on Buddy Holly's plane, and then went on to become "A
Rebel-with-a-cause" Country star, died Wednesday. He was 64.
Evelyn Scott was L A's first female disc jockey on radio
station KMPC. She became a regular on the TV Soap "Peyton
Place." Evelyn Scott died Jan. 31 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
She was 86.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Results! Why, man, I
have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that wont
work" -- Thomas Edison
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: Comedian Jerry Seinfeld
offers these words on the difference between men's magazines and women's
magazines:
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because
men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women
want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody
naked."
MY PAL PERRY TELLS THE BEST SENIOR PICK-UP LINES:
"Wanna swap meds?"
"Can I buy you a spatula?"
"Bet you're wondering why I have no nostrils?"
"Your crawlspace or mine?"
"May I lick your forehead?"
"Do you always wear your shoes over your socks?"
"Smeep. Smeep. Smeep. Sorry, my nothe is running.
Gotta Keenex? "
"What's your favorite flavor of wood?"
"You've stolen my heart, but that's okay because I have
three more back home in the freezer!"
THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF RADIO: --
Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE ... EVERYDAY
...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Meet The Band.
BS&T.
ONE MORE THOUGHT: Valentine's day
was originally a Roman Holiday during which men and women ate, drank, sang
songs and ran naked in the streets.
In my neighborhood, we don't sing songs
anymore.
Happy Belated Valentines Day!
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
02/10/2002
R&I
THIS IS WHEN IT GETS
CRUSTY AT THE TOP: Once upon a moment in time
there was a CEO named Sumner Redstone and a President named Mel Karmazin, who
used to be a CEO. Their management styles conflicted. Mel is a
Hands-On guy, Sumner gives more wriggling room to his top executives.
Sumner's mighty Viacom got Mel's powerhouse CBS for Billion's of Dollars and
then demoted Mel to the rank of President with one stroke of his magic wand.
Needless to say, this didn't light up Mel's room. You might call it:
"The power struggle to end all Radio power struggles." You
might ... but don't. As Yogi Berra sez ... "It ain't over 'til it's
over."
Mel and Sumner are digging
in. Top exec's are choosing sides. Mel is pretty safe until May
2003, when his contract is up, or sooner if Sumner can get 14 of the 18
directors to vote in his direction ... but that is a long shot.
R&I predictions:
Mel will settle for a buyout that includes Infinity. Sumner gets most of
the rest. Top exec's will scramble for their jobs ... at least half will be
replaced ... the rest will hook-up with whomever they feel will be around for
the next battle.
Radio has never been the
same since invaded by Corporate America. Go home tonight and kiss your
kids. Be thankful for the JOB ... not the Title.
Art Roberts
ONE MORE TIME: On March 10th, 2002, CBS will air
a documentary of what happened when two planes took down the WTC on September
11. You will see what happened that day looking up from Ground Zero.
The story of how these never before seen shots at the WTC is fascinating.
CBS was shooting a documentary about a firefighter who was
stationed near The World Trade Center when the camera crew heard a roar
overhead ... turned the camera upward and captured the plane as it slammed
into the North Tower. This will be a "must see" presentation.
Check the TV listings for time of broadcast.
Proceeds from the documentary will go to the Uniformed
Firefighters Association Scholarship Fund to help the children of the
firefighters who lost their lives in the 9/11attack.
TIME IS MONEY: The Time Machine. A TV dream
comes true. It compresses a half hour sitcom so that there is enough
room to squeeze out (Are you ready for this?) an EXTRA 30 second commercial.
And nobody notices! The Time Machine isn't cheap ... almost a hundred
grand each. Used 10 - 15 times a week, a TV station will break even on
their investment in about two to three weeks. That's a quicker pay
off than the bubblegum machine in the lobby. Is this a bad thing or a
good thing?
Depends. The sales department rejoices at the prospect of
being able to reel in an extra two-spots in prime hours. Ad agencies
fear the clutter. Viewers don't notice. So where's the problem?
Remember when Radio used to operate with the assumption that
more than 12 spots an hour was a tune-out? I know a PD who argued that
point with his GM. His manager listened to the pros and cons of cutting
back on the spot count, and finally said: "OK, George, we will run 12
spots an hour, but I will also deduct a hundred bucks a week from your
paycheck. If I make less money, you'll also take home less."
George never brought the subject up again.
KEN LEVINE KOMENTS: MSNBC suffered an
embarrassing gaffe on the air Wednesday (Feb. 6) when it misspelled an
African-American pundit's name. An extra "g" was mistakenly
inserted into Niger Innis' first name as he appeared on the cable channel to
discuss former Enron chairman Kenneth Lay's decision not to appear before a
U.S. Senate panel. The error was quickly corrected, and anchor Gregg
Jarrett apologized for the mistake. MSNBC also issued a written
statement apologizing for the typo, according to Broadcasting & Cable.
Innis took the mistake in stride. "Oh God, I thought you guys thought I
was a rapper or something. Media bias continues," he joked.
"Just kidding. It's not the first time it has happened, but hopefully it
is the last."
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Some of us just go along
. . . until that marvelous day people stop intimidating us -- or should I say
we refuse to let them intimidate us?"
-- Peggy Lee
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: A gentile once wandered
into a Jewish restaurant and ordered roast chicken. It arrived complete
with potatoes and a few sundries, and the diner looked at it without much
favor. He said to the waiter, "Don't I get a green vegetable?"
And the waiter said, "And vhat color is de pickle? Poiple?"
MY PAL PERRY FINDS SOME NEW WORDS: Each year the
Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, thus
creating a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners:
10. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when
you are running late.
9. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this
one got extra credit).
7. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a
hillbilly
6. Glibido: All talk and no action.
5. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid
ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
4. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax
refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.
2. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is,
like, sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the
Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
(NUMERO UNO!) Ignoranus: A person who's both
stupid AND an asshole.
DOT RADIO DAILY NEWS IS SOMTING ELSE, YAH? --
Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE ... EVERYDAY
...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Being a devout "Dog
person" I really get ticked when I read a "Bad Rap" about
Rottweilers. (California seems to breed the most vocal
"Anti-Dog" crowd.) Like their human friends, there are a few
"bad apples" that fall from the tree ... but for the most part,
Rotties are marvelous companions. Let me introduce you to some of our
old Pals back in Texas ...
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
02/03/2002
R&I
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES: Last
week RDN (Radio Daily News.com) printed an opinion by Jeff Davis on the
condition of the radio business, where he used an old analogy:
"It seems pervasive in our Industry that people who have anything that
would resemble "tenure" or "seniority" in other
industries feel that Broadcasting has no future. It begs to cite the
old "half-empty" or "half-full" glass of water
example." (I might add one more, Jeff ... "The glass is
twice as big as needed.")
Jeff Davis went on to inject some very sound
advice: "1) Always keep up with current trends 2) Never be
afraid to embrace change 3) Educate yourself to new options Aside from
being as cooperative as possible in your current situation, understanding
where you stand in the scheme of things is also important. If you're a
jock, be a jock. If you're in the News Department do news. And whatever
that job is, do it to the best of your ability while maintaining an
excellent attitude."
Now here's what got the hairs on my neck to
stand up ... a comment by a reader of RDN which said: "Jeff has
been in the business for thirty years and never fired from radio simply
for following his three rules of the "game"? I'll bet he's
never worked in a top ten market either. Laurie K."
Tell you what Lady, you couldn't be further
from the truth. Jeff was with WLS in Chicago for more than a dozen
years churning out superb production, as well as performing on the air.
He is considered "The WLS Historian", producing such gems as
"The History of WLS" and " WLS, The MusicRadio Years,
1960-1985." Today, Jeff runs his own production studio in Los
Angeles. Laurie, that's the reason God gave us TWO ears and ONE
mouth ... so we may listen twice as much as we speak. Best way I
know from coming off sounding stupid.
The second comment was as dumb as the first.
Maybe dumber. "Sounds like Jeff's main crayon color may be
BROWN, as it reflects the color of the back sides he's probably kissed.
That's another way to stay employed I hear. Gary A."
That comment doesn't dignify an answer. Gary, just read the
above paragraph. The Defense rests.
Art Roberts
RADIO ASTROLOGY FROM LYLE DEAN: WHAT'S YOUR
RADIO STAR SIGN?
ANNOUNCER: You are ambitious yet stupid.
You chose Radio School to avoid having to study in college, concentrating
instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job
responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
NEWS -- Negativism erupts, with appropriateness you
believe, when, after an 11-hour day you're asked to work a few hours more,
only because your boss paid no heed to your station's own weather forecast
of a 12-inch snowfall. You are unfussy about what you eat, unless
the bag of corn chips found in a nearby desk, has a freshness date of
sometime in the last century. Much of your psychic pay is in who you
know and who knows you, something your spouse has been unable to spend at
the grocery store. Neither does your spouse appreciate the many
invitations you receive that do include free food and drink--but hardly
worth, your spouse believes, the price she must pay. You can be
counted on to keep an untidy desk with drawers filled with dozens of tapes
bearing labels reading only "Save." Your days off are
filled with reading old newspapers, listening to the competition, and
fantasizing that one day you'll have exactly the right comeback to the
smart-alec program host who wouldn't know a news story if it was painted
on him.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred
to as 'marketing without a degree', you are self-centered and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to
avoid contact with customers so you can 'concentrate on the big picture'.
You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
PRODUCTION: Unable to control anything in
your personal life, you are instead content to completely control
everything that happens in the Recording Studio. Often even YOU
don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. The
choice to seek a career in production was probably made by rolling one of
the twenty-sided dice out of your "Dungeons and Dragons" game,
and choosing production if it was an even number and StarTrek Convention
Organizer if was an odd number.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that
actually studied in school. It is said that engineers place 90% of
all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself because your office
is full of all the latest 'ergodynamic' gadgets. However, we all
know what is really causing your 'carpal tunnel syndrome'.
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied
in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are
the most feared person in the organization. Combined with your
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say
that you are completely insane.
RECEPTION: Bright, cheery, positive, you are
a 50-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few
of you asked your parents for a little desk for your room and a
headset so you could pretend to play 'Reception'. Continually passed
over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
PROGRAM DIRECTOR: Lacking any specific
knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of
experience. You have convinced yourself that your 'skills' are in
demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other
organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity
contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct
action.
PROMOTIONS: You drink way too much.
With hardly any post-secondary education, you were forced to choose a
career for yourself that involved all the skills you learned in high
school. You once asked yourself, "How can I get paid to hang out at
concerts, drink and party, scam free SWAG and meet cool bands?"
You can often be heard calling people who pretend to be your
friends and saying... "Dude, I got concert tickets, some free beer
from the Bud Rep and the keys to my mom's car, let's hook up".
GENERAL SALES MANAGER: Catty, cutthroat, yet
completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for
the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision, you
tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself.
GM: You are brilliant or lucky. Your
inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest
the latter.
LYLE DEAN
AROUND THE WORLD IN 31 DAYS: 27 Nations
"took a peek" at ArtRoberts.com during the month of January.
Canada remained number one, followed by United Kingdom, Old Style
Arpanet, Belgium, Portugal, Romania, Australia, New Zealand, Mexico and
Germany making up the top ten. The next group included Spain,
Sweden, Netherlands, Pakistan, France, Austria, Japan, Czech Republic,
Finland and Ireland. The final group: Greece, Argentina,
Switzerland, Italy, Norway, Russian Federation and Samoa. Welcome to
American Radio.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Successful people
are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful
people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?"
- - Brian Tracy
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: A gem from Ken Levine:
MY PAL PERRY HAS BREAKING NEWS FROM THE WAR FRONT":
Now that American B-52's are reorganizing Afghanistan's
landscape, US intelligence has discovered that the Taliban have renamed
some of their towns to confuse us. These new names include:
1. Wherz-Myroof
2. Mykamel-Isded
3. Oshit-Disisabad
4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon
5. Pleeze-Ztopdishit
6. Kizz-Yerass-Goodbi
7. Ikanstan-Disnomore
8. What-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin
9. Myturbin-Isburnin
10. Imma-Dedshmuck
RADIO NEWS ON A SILVER PLATTER: RADIO
DAILY NEWS -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND
MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: How much did you
learn watching 64 hours of NFL in 2001? Best test comin' up.
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
01/27/2002
R&I
RAP RADIO:
Talk radio. It always starts the same way. A microphone opens --
a mouth moves. The worst I've ever experienced was at a radio station
in West Texas. God knows why the owner wanted to do a talk show in the
afternoon on and oldies radio station. The sponsors hated it, so
did the audience -- but he told me that I just didn't understand a talk show
host. Maybe. But when the host is on the air for more than an
hour and the telephones are silent -- something is terribly wrong.
This poor guy rambled on and on, faithfully giving the hotline number, and
getting no response whatsoever. He was not communicating. He was
randomly rapping ... going nowhere.
In exploring Rap Radio, Canned Rap is most widely used. I'm not
talking about Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura, or any of the other "household
names" -- a radio station can fill the roster with lesser-known talent
and become "Talk Radio" at bargain basement prices. WAIT in
Chicago has just joined the talk marathon with a roster of lesser-known
hosts. Mike Gallagher, from New York (Mornings); Clark Howard
from Atlanta (midday) and Neal Boortz (Afternoon drive). Good luck
guys. Last time I looked, WAIT was tied for 26th place.
Local Rap is my favorite
talk format. The talk show host must be completely wired in to the
community. His sentiments on the air should echo their needs, and
fairly present pending issues. Consistency wins with this format.
(Rusty Humphries of KOH, Reno, is a prime example -- as is KGO, San
Francisco.)
Incendiary Rap.
The easiest format to pull off ... Just open a microphone and say the
"N" word. Then hide under the table. One recent
example was at KLIF, in Dallas. Their afternoon guy made some remarks
that disturbed the Hispanic community. Needless to say, he has been
removed. It's not a PC thing -- it is simply using common sense.
War Rap. 9/11
bombings ... the war on terrorist ... became a made to order platform for
talk show hosts. Easy to score with the audience, just play "God
bless America" exiting each hour. Suddenly into the mix comes a
kid from California named Walker, and Terrorist detainees at Guantanamo Bay.
Enter -- PC Rap. Suddenly, WE are the bad guys. Give me a break.
The list of Rap Formats
seems endless. How many can you name?
Art Roberts
THIS BOOTH AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US:
The word is out that John Madden and Pat Summerall will split after
Superbowl Sunday, February 3rd. They have been an announcing team for
twenty-one years. No one is better than Pat at describing the plays
and placing the teams in the proper perspective. Pat has 50 years with
the NFL which include 41 in broadcasting. And who can draw
circles better than John? The way he describes the game, and
shows the alternative choices ... Once a coach, always! Gonna miss
that announcing team. Might as well turn the sound down and call my
own damn plays.
CAN CHUNG CHALLENGE THE CHAMP? Remember the
great radio wars of the '60s? CNN and the Fox News Channel are
mirroring them today. It's no secret Fox has been nipping away at
CNN's numbers. So, CNN has hired Connie Chung away from ABC News to be
the anchor of a nightly news show. She will go "toe to toe"
against Fox's number one talk show host, Bill O'Reilly. Put up your
dukes!
"GOOD AND BAD NEWS IN THE CLEAR CHANNEL CAMP":
Clear Channel Communications is attempting to raise a little pocket
change ... about $3 Billion ... through the sale of some securities.
All they need is an OK from the SEC. Part of the money could be used
for new acquisitions. That is the good news, but trouble is a bubblin'
for CCU.
Congressman Howard Berman (D-CA), Ranking
Member, Subcommittee on Courts, the Internet and Intellectual Property, has
written letters (1/22) to Attorney General John Ashcroft and FCC Chairman
Michael Powell asking them to investigate - - and potentially prosecute - -
Clear Channel for possible antitrust and FCC violations with its Clear
Channel Entertainment concert promotions division. In addition, he's
requesting an investigation of CCU's alleged "parking" of radio
and TV stations via third party shell companies in Chillicothe, OH ,
Monterey, San Diego, San Francisco, Hudson, NY, Catskills, NY,
Charlotte, Oklahoma City and Waco, TX.
The Congressman wrote: "I write to
express my serious concern about vertical and horizontal integration in the
radio, television and concert promotion industries. Clear Channel's
actions in consolidating these businesses has negatively affected recording
artists, owners of sound recording copyrights, consumers, advertisers, and
competitors in the radio and television industries...According to numerous
press reports, as well as first hand accounts by affected recording artists
and copyright owners, Clear Channel's consolidation of radio and concert
promotions industries has had a variety of negative repercussions..."
Berman says Clear Channel punishes artists for
refusing to use Clear Channel Entertainment by burying ads for their
concerts and keeping their songs off playlists at CCU Radio stations.
He named Britney Spears as one example.
Clear Channel states: "We are satisfied and
excited about the ways we have grown our businesses. Our company
competes aggressively, fairly and totally within the law. If there is
an investigation, we are confident that this will continue to be proven
true."
WE LOST A COUPLE OF FRIENDS:
Peggy Lee was revered as a great Jazz singer and
award winning pop singer. "Manana" may have been Peggy's
biggest hit, but she will always be remembered best for two other songs ...
"Fever" and "Is That All There Is." Peggy Lee died
from a heart attack Monday. She was 81.
Stanley Marcus, who grew a family retail
business into 32 Neiman Marcus stores nationwide, and two Bergdorf Goodman
stores in New York. Plus the famous Neiman Marcus catalog that
featured lavish gifts like a custom-made Lexus convertible and a
$2.5-million necklace. Stanley Marcus died Tuesday in Dallas. He
was 96.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Common
sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they
ought to be done." -- Harriet Beecher Stowe
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: "If
procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting?"
MY PAL PERRY & "LESSONS IN LIFE THAT TOOK 50 YEARS TO
LEARN":
1. You will never find anybody who
can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings
time.
2. The most powerful force in the
universe is gossip.
3. There comes a time when you
should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age 11.
4. If you had to identify, in one
word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will
achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
5. You should not confuse your
career with your life.
6. A person who is nice to you, but
rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
7. No matter what happens, somebody
will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things
look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is
willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Your friends love you, anyway.
10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.
RADIO NEWS THE OTHERS FORGOT: RADIO
DAILY NEWS -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND
MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Whether you're an oldies
fan or an oldies jock, you'll want to check this site every week.
Trivia-z-a-poppin' ... Bookmark this one!
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
01/20/2002
R&I
IN MEMORY OF A
CHAMP: Kipper was a tri-colored Sheltie who lit up our lives for
almost fifteen years. He was alert, competitive, and very macho, with a
clown's heart. He belonged in a show ring.
Bobbi was his trainer and
partner. Since Obedience trials is a team sport, together they had their
share wins and "busts." Never getting discouraged, they went
on to earn Best of Show and First Place Ribbons in Illinois, Texas, Louisiana,
and California... and the Big Three Titles in Obedience Trials ... CD
(Companion dog); CDX (Companion Dog Excellence); and UD (Utility Dog).
Kipper remained a champ until his final day, January 14, 2002.
I like to think that Heaven has a special place for pets. I can't
imagine God abandoning one of his creations. I envision an endless space
with no fences where Kipper can run free without fear. And when God
wishes to allow him a turn to be His companion, He needs to utter but a simple
command... "Heel" ... and Kipper will sit proudly at His side.
Art Roberts
TWO GUYS FROM CHICAGO: When The Big 89 Music
became The Big 89 Mouth, the WLS afternoon team of Roe Conn and Gary Meier
emerged like a Phoenix from the ashes. Gary was once partnered with
Steve Dahl. (What a mis-match.) Overalls and a Tuxedo sitting side
by side.
Roe and Gary have been together going on seven
years at WLS and are now tied with WBBM AM (5.1) for second place in America's
Third Largest Market. They not only relate to Chicago ... They are
Chicago.
MEDIAS BIG BROTHER: Ever hear of PPM (Portable
People Meter)? It is another Arbitron brainchild that could change the
landscape of media testing. Philadelphia could become the first market
to be measured with the technology in 2002.
The good news is they are including aged 6 + in
the sampling size of 1500. These folks will carry around a device (about
the size of a pager) that registers encoded signals from Radio, TV, and Cable
channels. Previous tests have shown that people would faithfully carry
around the PPM approximately 15 hours daily. Measurement accuracy should
benefit greatly.
OH MY, MY, MIAMI: Okay, get the picture.
There's this soap opera actor, Juan Carlos Diaz, who alleges that Emillio
Estefan Jr. (husband of Gloria Estefan) threatened him while in a gym, and
"touched him in an unwanted manner." (OH, MY!)
Meanwhile, Emillio denies these scandalous
accusations. (Check the police reports, Dano.) Juan has two
trespass warnings ... one for crashing Emillio's New Years Eve party.
(OH, MY, MY!)
This real life soap opera isn't over. Stay
tuned for the next episode of Juan and Emillio ... "Your Tights are Too
Tight."
WE LOST ANOTHER FRIEND: Frank Shuster, and his
partner Johnny Wayne teamed up in high school in Toronto, and continued as a
comedy team throughout their careers. They were billed as Wayne and
Shuster, and gained fame when they first appeared on "The Ed Sullivan
Show" in 1958. Ed had them back 67 times. Frank died
last Sunday of pneumonia. He was 85.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Better to
light a candle than to curse the darkness." -- Chinese
Proverb
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING:
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your
car.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you
take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking
how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
If you think there is good in everybody, you
haven't met everybody.
Now, Repeat after me ... "Bodda ... Boom ...
Bodda ... Bing"
MY PAL PERRY TELLS IT LIKE IT IS:
1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
2. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
3. Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz
produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market
that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.
4. More than 50% of the people in the
entire world have never made or received a telephone call.
5. Rats multiply so rapidly that in 18
months, two rats possibly could have over a million descendants. You
would think at least ONE would send a post card to their Mama.
7. The cigarette lighter was invented
before the match.
8. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for
dating are already married.
9. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
10. Over 75% of the people who read this
will try to lick their elbows.
YOU LOVE RADIO - WE LOVE RADIO: RADIO
DAILY NEWS -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE
... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: This is dedicated to the
unshaven and unwashed that haunt the hallways of America's radio stations at 5
AM. Since no one sounds like they look, some don't care how the look.
Wrinkled shirt, holes in their jeans ... steaming cup of coffee fogging
their glasses. Open the microphone and let the illusion begin. The
Voice of the AM. Topical. Funny. Serious. Sarcastic.
How doooo they do that? They have "PREP" help Bubba.
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
01/13/2002
R&I
HAM AND EGO:
It's what made a Disc Jockey jump out of bed at 3 o'clock in the morning,
shower, grab a doughnut, jump in the car and be at the station by 4 AM.
Clip stories of local interest from the morning paper, get the music in order,
click open the microphone at 6 AM, and in a voice that had an unmistakable
smile ... Invite the listeners to enjoy a potpourri of music, news, and
entertainment. Damn, THAT was good radio!
Once upon a time Kids used
to dream of doing a show like that ... Picking the hits ... Appearing at
malls ... MC'ing Rock Concerts ... Hosting all-night proms ... Signing
autographs ... Being Rated Number One in their Market ...
Greed has robbed them of
their dreams. Voice tracking has erased weekend job opportunities.
Consolidation has made it easy to operate with a skeleton crew. So, is
radio on a downhill ride to oblivion? Not hardly. New
technologies, already developed and tested, will offer NEW choices to the
radio listener seeking a change from today's bland programming.
Read on my friends,
today's R&I is dedicated to ideas and technologies that offer new choices
for the tired and frustrated Radio listener.
Art Roberts
HAL WIDSTEN OBSERVATIONS: I think XM really
missed the boat. I've had a chance to listen to it, and there is a lot
of voice-tracking instead of live people communicating. I did hear a
live guy on the Oldies channel, but most of the rest of the music channels are
voice-tracked.
There is great concern that radio is losing its younger audience to other
technologies. I believe the reason for that is the lack of concern for
the younger audience by the consolidated companies, and the lack of
communication going on at most stations. We're losing the
"contact" between the stations and the audience, and that isn't good
for the present and could be disaster for the future. All you have to do
is to listen to the 1969 WLS and compare the level of communication to what
we're hearing today, and you can hear what is happening. I am hopeful
that those people running the big shows will wake up before it is too late.
HAL W.
EDITORS NOTE:
On August the fifth, 2001, R&I ran and editorial entitled: "Radio's
Lost Generation." In that editorial, I pointed out the following...
"The NFL has a department devoted to marketing 6 to 11-year-olds.
They realize kids need to be trained to watch football on Sundays and root for
their favorite team. If they are not tuned in to football by the time
they are 12, these kids may very well be lost to other sports. Radio can
learn a lesson here. Other than Disney Radio, the industry hardly speaks
to the group of people that will make up the next generation of listeners.
How sad. "
XM ATTRACTS INITIAL TAKERS: More than 30,000
people have spent at least $300 for a special radio and are paying $9.99 a
month to tap into XM Satellite Radio and have their choice of 100 uniquely
programmed radio channels. That makes XM "the fastest-selling audio
product of the last 20 years."
So far they are the only kid on the block, nine
months ahead of their competitor, Sirius Satellite Radio, which announced
plans for its 100-channel service to be completed in the third quarter (July
or August) of this year. Market testing should begin next month in
Jackson, MS.
All of Sirius music channels will be
commercial-free. Their monthly fee is $12.95. Both satellite
services offer channels programmed by many traditional broadcasters such as
Clear Channel.
WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF "NEW TECHNOLOGY..." This
one really lights up my room. Digital AM Radio!
Initial test results prove that iBiquity's
AM IBOC (In-Band On-Channel) system will deliver FM-like sound quality to AM
stations. Talk about teaching an old dog new tricks. Thanks to
Digital AM technology, the AM band will no longer be strapped to limited
programming options. They can compete for listeners on a level playing
surface, music formats included.
The In Band On Channel (IBOC) digital will be much
better than the old AM stereo. It will be all digital, and it will have
the same frequency response that FM has now. It looks like all the major
radio companies are committing to it, and the auto makers as well. That
is what we need to make it happen. Digital radios ... both in-dash and
in-home are right around the corner.
Aint technology grand.
GENTLEMAN JOHN IS BACK: I love a guy who is never
too busy to answer his phone. That's John Gehron, the Gentleman Genius
of Radio. When Infinity let him go at the end of last year, all they saw
was dollar signs, a decision they will eventually regret.
Looks like John will be named Regional Vice
President of Clear Channel in Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison and Eau Claire.
It is also a good bet that he will be VP and GM at his old stomping grounds
WNUA FM, as well as WKSC FM, and WLIT FM. Whew, talk about a FULL plate
... but that's why John is worth the big bucks.
WE LOST A COUPLE OF FRIENDS:
Dave Thomas -- Owner / Founder of Wendy's.
Produced hundreds of TV ad's promoting his hamburger restaurants. Dave
was 69.
Avery Schreiber -- who teamed up with Jack Burns
40 years ago as a comedy act has died. He was 66.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "In business,
you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."
-- Chester L. Karrass
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: I
thought I would let you in on a little secret I've found for building my arm
and shoulder muscles. You might wish to adopt this regimen -- 3 days a week
works well.
I start with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand,
extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can.
After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato
sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each
hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute!
Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the
sacks ...
MY PAL PERRY PICKS THE TOP TEN "BOOZE" WARNING LABELS:
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to think you can sing.
4, WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better
looking than most people.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to believe you are invisible or worse, bulletproof.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause pregnancy.
10. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may
Mack you think you can tipe real gode.
RDN, FROM FATCATS TO FATHEADS: RADIO
DAILY NEWS -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE
... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Who
sez life doesn't travel in a full circle? READ THE STORY OF HOW A
BERWYN, IL, BORN BAND DROVE "VEHICLE" INTO THE POP CHARTS. And
today -- GMC gives it new life in a TV ad...
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
01/06/2002
R&I
FOLLOW THE LEADER:
Something big happened
last week. BIGGER than Microsoft. Well, maybe not bigger ... but
pretty damn big!
Thank you, John Rhodes,
for recording the WLS New Years presentation of January the first, 1970.
Thank you, "Uncle
Rickie," for Featuring all eight hours of "The Big 89 of
1969" as your New Years Special on www.reelradio.com
with Art Roberts, Larry Lujack, and Chuck Buell as hosts. And for
pointing out that in 1969, "No Chicago radio station out-rated John
Rook's WLS. The station was number one in all Pulse and Arbitron books with
a total audience of 4.2 million listeners each week. This was some of
the biggest big-time Top 40 radio in America, ever."
No
"bout-a-doubt-it" -- John Rook was the best Program Director we
had ever experienced. He was our coach. He was our mentor.
He was our LEADER as we followed him up the ratings ladder. John
scrutinized every little detail in the flow and presentation of each show.
He developed a format that encouraged individuality. You could walk
into a dark room, click on the radio, and find WLS just by the sound and
energy that emerged from its speakers. And the person knew they were
listening to a "Chicago" station. WLS was "LOCAL"
24 hours a day. Something today's Radio has forgotten.
Radio needs a
Renaissance. A "kick - start" format which offers
believability, local appeal, and entertainment -- all wrapped up in one neat
package. Some have criticized me for looking back at what "once
was" instead of concentrating on "what is." That ain't
so, Maggie. I'm not alone in assessing Radio Today as Boring.
Repetitive. Lack-luster formats. Inferior leadership. The
fact that some of today's conglomerates have figured out various ways of
fattening the bottom line has little bearing on the disservice they
are doing to the listening audience. That little piece of history this
past weekend on www.reelradio.com
reached 4.2 million people in its day. Learn from it. There is
NO reason for Radio to keep re-inventing the wheel.
Great programming will
gather an enormous audience. The dollars ALWAYS follow.
Art Roberts
GLOBAL GREETINGS: Twenty-three Countries
visited Art Roberts.com during the last month of 2001. Canada was number
one, followed by Japan, Netherlands, Australia, United Kingdom, Germany,
Finland, Belgium, Taiwan, and Spain. The next ten were Denmark,
France, Italy, South Africa, Sweden, Brazil, Norway, Singapore, Argentina,
and Austria. Followed by Old Style Arpanet, Greece and Mexico.
We look forward to your return in 2002. Happy New Year!
A MESSAGE FROM CLARK: "I saw this item for
sale at eBay, the world's largest personal trading community, and thought
that you might be interested."
Title of item: BEATLES - LENNON BED LINEN 1964
!!!!! RARE !!
Seller: applescruff
Starts: Dec-29-01 11:46:03 PST
Ends: Jan-05-02 11:46:03 PST
Price: Starts at $100.00
Wonder how much they got?
DE BEST AND DE WOIST TV IN 2001:
Foist, de Best ...
1. The Sopranos (HBO) ... Now some of
youse might disagree with me. Hey, that's America. But before
you take it too far, check your window ... see that black limo parked across
the street ... Now whaddya think?
2. Malcolm in the Middle (Fox) ... Personally I
think it's a tie with Raymond. Which Raymond?
3. Everybody Loves Raymond (CBS) ... Maybe it's
just me, but I find this sitcom hysterically funny. In time it will
sit alongside other CBS classics such as "I Love Lucy";
"All In The Family"; and "MASH."
Next, de Woist ...
1. XFL (NBC, UPN) ... This "Slam
Dunk" turned out to be "Slam Junk."
2. Emeril (NBC) ... "BAM"
That took care of that.
3. Kristin (NBC) ... "AAaaaarrrrgh"
WE LOST ANOTHER FRIEND AT YEARS END: [RIP]
Monteria Ivey, New York radio personality. Monteria co-hosted a show
with Stephan Dweck called "Sports Funk" which blended sports and
humor. Monteria died December 13th of diabetic shock. He was 41.
TALK ABOUT SHOOTING THE GOOSE THAT LAYED THE GOLDEN EGG!:
The cost of "doing
business" in the Record Industry is out of control. There are
approximately six thousand CD's released in a year ... Ninety percent never
make it. You do the math. (Don't be shocked. The Record
biz has always had only 5-10% of their product in the
"Hits" circle.)
Still, the Recording
Industry is big business. About 40 billion dollars a year. That
is serious money. The downside is the cost of doing business with major
artists, which keeps going up, while earnings, to put it bluntly ... "Aint
makin' it."
The biggest record
labels have the deepest pockets. EMI signed a four CD deal with Mariah
Carey for 80 million dollars. Her first release "Glitter"
was very disappointing. So much so, EMI is looking for ways to settle
on the remainder of her contract. (That explains why "We Call the
Wind - Mariah.") Many Major labels are seeking ways to get out
from under their shrinking earnings caused by enormous marketing expenses,
escalating executive salaries, and the hundreds of millions dollars spent to
hang on to today's mega-stars -- whose future popularity is at the whims of
a very fickle public. Then factor in the ability to download music and
burn CDs.
Are today's top
performers ASKING for too much; or is the recording industry EXPECTING too
much? Look for the major labels to tighten their belts and their
WALLETS.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "To be somebody, you
must last." - - Ruth Gordon
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING:
"I have a stepladder.
It's a very nice stepladder.
But it's sad that I never knew my Real Ladder."
MY PAL PERRY REMEMBERS WILL ROGERS: Will Rogers
was Cherokee and an Oklahoman. He was also famous as a stage performer
and, later, as a newspaperman. He was killed in a plane accident in
Alaska, along with Wiley Post (pilot), in 1935. These quotes are a
mere sampling of the Will Rogers wit.
1. "Don't squat with your spurs
on."
2. "If you're riding ahead of
the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still
there."
3. "If you get to thinkin' you're a
person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."
4. "Never kick a cow chip on a hot
day."
5. "There's two theories to arguing
with a woman. Neither one works."
6. "Always drink upstream from
a herd."
7. "I don't tell jokes. I just
watch the government and report the facts."
8. "Nobody wants to be called common
people, especially common people."
9. "Everything is funny as long as it
is happening to somebody else."
10. "We'll show the world we are
prosperous, even if we have to go broke to do it."
2002, AND THE RDN BEAT GOES ON : RADIO
DAILY NEWS -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND
MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Band
and Banned. Pronounced the same, but they are eons apart. This
site shows the rocky road Rock Bands had to travel during the 60's to earn
their right for self-expression.
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
12/26/2001
R&I
AN ART ROBERTS.COM NEW
YEARS MESSAGE:
"When I was little
lad
So me mother told me
If I did not kiss all the girls
Me lips would soon grow moldy."
(Now there's a guy who is
looking forward to New Years Eve!)
I grew up on the lower
East Side of New York, and I always thought we were poor ... until the day my
Mom washed and ironed my old clothes, wrapped them in a neat bundle, and told
me to bring them to a basement apartment down the block. I knocked on
the door and was greeted by a nice lady who struggled with her English as she
invited me to come in. While she opened the package, a kid sitting on a
straight-back chair was gleaming with anticipation. His big brown eyes
strained to see the prize, and as soon as it was unwrapped he flew off the
chair, scooped up the clothes and ran into the next room. Aaron was
close to my age (about 8) -- but a lot shorter. He came back into the
kitchen wearing an ironed shirt and pants and shiny shoes. Perfect fit.
We sat down to celebrate with milk and home made cookies... a ritual that
sealed our friendship in time.
Anyway, as I walked home,
the "spirit of giving" sure made me feel good. I've tapped
into that "feeling" all my life. And it is with the same
spirit and resolve that ArtRoberts.com enters it's FOURTH YEAR. We will
continue to toast the Leaders in Radio and hiss at the villains. Point
out the pioneers and Bury the Bums. Find some humor to balance the day.
Got a feeling 2002 will be a Hell of a year.
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
Art Roberts
WE LOST A FEW FRIENDS:
[RIP] Rufus Thomas, who is best
known for "Bear Cat" (The answer song to "Hound Dog)
which helped Sun Records get its start before Elvis Presley signed with the
company, died at St. Francis Hospital in Memphis, Tenn. Rufus was 84.
[RIP] Stuart Adamson, lead singer and
guitarist for the Scottish rock band Big Country, which had hits in the 1980s
with "In a Big Country" and "Fields of Fire," has been
found dead in Honolulu on December 17th. His death is believed to be a
suicide. Stuart was 43.
[RIP] John Guedel, who produced three
of radio and television's most enduring programs--Art Linkletter's
"People Are Funny" and "House Party," and Groucho Marx's
"You Bet Your Life"-- has died. John was 88.
[RIP] Foster Brooks started out in
Radio in Louisville and Buffalo, turned to TV as a newscaster, only to become
an "overnight success" as a comic at age 59. Foster created
the funniest 'drunk act' I have ever seen. He was a top opening act in
Las Vegas. Know the best part of imitating a drunk? There's no
pounding headache the next morning. Foster was 89.
[RIP] Dick Schaap, outstanding sports
writer who won 5 Emmy Awards, and hosted a magazine sports show on ESPN, as
well as a syndicated Radio show, died from complications due to hip surgery.
Dick was 67.
AN OPEN LETTER FROM FATHER TIME: Dear
Friends: "Let's see if I understand how the world
works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he
blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and
die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company. If
your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the
bartender. If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame
television. And if your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame
the gun manufacturer. I must have lived too long to understand the world
as it is anymore. So, at midnight on December 31st, if I die while my
old, wrinkled butt is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame
Bill Gates...okay?"
Love,
Father Time
PS ... Take good care of
the new Kid.
"PROTEST CONCERT" TO RAISE MONEY TO FIGHT RECORD INDUSTRY:
Elton John and the Eagles head the list of 100
entertainers who will perform at five benefit concerts the night before the
Grammy Awards to raise money in order to pay the legal fees in the fight
against major record labels allegedly denying musicians a share of
royalty earnings. They call themselves "The Recording Artists
Coalition."
Other artists scheduled to perform are Billy Joel,
Stevie Nicks, Weezer, Dixie Chicks and Ozzy Osborn. More artists were expected
to join the list in coming weeks. Major record companies deny
allegations of underpayment, claiming that musicians are receiving their fair
share.
This is a prime definition of Conflict: When
two "rights" collide.
KRLD -- ALL NEWS ALL DAY: KRLD NewsRadio
1080 will air continuous news from 4 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays beginning Monday,
January 7. KRLD will continue (for the next four years) as flagship
station for the Texas Rangers Baseball play-by-play broadcasts. TALK
ABOUT COMMITMENT.
BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE RADIO:
Okay Radio, it's time to get off the back burner. Know who put there?
Media Queens. Ever talk to those agency geniuses? They talk "Daypart."
"25 to 49." "Drive time." And a language no
one understands ... "Cost-Per-Thousand?" It is time Radio got
some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
I heard that according to the new RADAR Report
(Radio's All Dimension Audience Research), "More than 225 million
people listen to radio every week -- which is NINETY-SIX PERCENT of the 12 +
population." The numbers are even higher in households
earning $50K or more. Same goes for college graduates.
Radio, if you can believe numbers ... we are
Bigger than U.S. STEEL ... Well, maybe not U. S. Steel ....
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Vision is the art of
seeing the invisible." -- Jonathan Swift
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: "You know when you're
sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean
too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself?
I feel like that all the time." --Steven Wright
MY PAL PERRY TELLS ABOUT "THE SHRINK
THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS."
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I
Hear?
M ULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three
Queens Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels
Sing About Me
PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get
Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch
Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.
DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy
Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, >
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock...
....(better start again)
THE LAST RADIO DOIN'Z OF 2001: RDN
-- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND
MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: One of my most memorable
gifts was a blue rawhide jacket, loaded with fringes, given to me by Ronnie
Rice, lead singer for "The New Colony Six." When I wore my 10
gallon Stetson and climbed into the saddle, I looked like Wild Bill Cody, and
my horse "Sam" looked embarrassed. Well, Ronnie Rice is still
Rockin' and Rollin' in Chicago. And his web site is packed with Chicago
"Garage Band" history. Come set a spell ...
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
R&I
Do You
Remember
that old lady
who lived in a shoe
and she had so many
radios she didn't know
what to do? They all worked fine
but sounded the same, only the call letters
had a different name. They each played 13 in a row
and those were just the commercials raking in the dough.
As
hard as
she tried
there was nothing
to relieve her. So, she
went to her favorite store and
bought an XM receiver. Dialed
up the sky and WOW did she ever score.
There was jazz and rock and sixties stations galore.
With a smile she said "who could ask for anything more."
Time
marched on
and lo and behold
it still sounded brand spankin’
new and nary a minute stale and old.
100 Channels came to us from outer space,
the joy and excitement was written on her face.
Hang on Mamma this is one listening game you can't lose.
So, she went to the cupboard and got a shot of her favorite booze.
On the rooftop
she heard such a clatter,
she thought to herself "What
the Hell is the matter? Down the chimney
landing with a thud was Santa saying "Howdy Bud."
"I brung ya a Technologically keerect X-BOX with a bow on top."
And they danced and danced to her XM like the old days at a record Hop.
Then the old lady said with a slinky-wink: "C’mon Santa, have a
Christmas drink."
And in a twinkle she handed Santa a gaily wrapped and ribboned box with a robe
of silk.
Santa smiled at her and said: "Doggone Lady, this sure beats a plate of
cookies and milk."
So, here's a Christmas wish
From Bobbi and me
And of course we must
include our Shelties three
We all love you so very much
Let's always always stay in touch.
ART & BOBBI
12/16/2001
"THINKIN' JINGLE BELLS:" GREAT
gift idea. An autographed copy of my book "THINKIN' OUT LOUD?"
Radio Professionals and Fans of Radio love it. My dog Willie loves it.
So does Billie Jo and Kipper. Folks even love the cover. And it
gets better ... The price per book is just $15. You can also buy the
BOOK and the HIP FABLES CD for $25. NO SHIPPING CHARGES. Order
Today through PAY PAL ON THE FRONT PAGE of ArtRoberts.Com I Thank you.
My publisher thanks you. And your feet will thank you.
WE LOST ANOTHER FRIEND: Back
in 1952 Don Tennant, an up-and-coming advertising man presented his loveable
character "Tony the Tiger" to Kellog's -- and Frosted Flakes found a
place in History. In his lifetime Don created many an icon which
included "The Marlboro Man," and he wrote a number of catch-phrases
-- like my favorite "Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the
oven." Don Tennant died last week. He was 79.
WE WISH YOU A GERALDO CHRISTMAS:
"The phoniest
story to come out of Afghanistan to date is the claim by Geraldo Rivera that
someone took a shot at him and missed. I don't believe it. Why
would they miss?"
-- LYNN NOFZIGER
"Wow! Geraldo goes to
Afghanistan -- and three days later the Taliban surrenders! He is
carrying a gun and says he isn't afraid to use it. So he is now
considered armed and annoying. He says that his next step is to go into
the underground caves and find bin Laden himself! When he finds the cave
and goes in and finds bin Laden, let's seal the cave up! Two birds with
one stone! Airports across the country are on a heightened state of
security -- in case Geraldo decides to come back." -- JAY LENO
QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
"From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however,
makes a life."-- ARTHUR ASHE
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: A
man visits his dentist and complains that his brand new upper plate has
disintegrated. When the dentist asks what he has been eating, the man
says he loves Hollandaise sauce and eats it every day. Hearing this, the
dentist explains that the lemon juice in the Hollandaise sauce is the culprit
because its acidity corrodes the plate material. The dentist, a
Hollandaise sauce lover himself, is sympathetic and says he will make the man
a replacement plate out of chrome for nothing. The patient is thankful
but curious and asks, "Why chrome?"
The dentist replies ... "Because
there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."
FAVORITE BUMPER STICKERS FROM MY PAL PERRY:
1. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
2. I Have The Body Of A
God.....Buddha
3. So Many Pedestrians - So Little
Time
4. He Who Dies With The Most Toys...
Still Dies
5. Illiterate? Write For Help
6. Honk If Anything Falls Off
7. He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest
8. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
9. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies
Tell Me To
10. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up
On Disk Somewhere
HIRIN AND FIRIN' AND FORTUNES AND FLOPS: RDN
-- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE ...
EVERYDAY ...
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Check
the link below...This is really a sight to behold! The image is a
panoramic view of the world from the new space station. It is a night
photo with the lights clearly indicating the populated areas. You can
scroll East-West and North-South. Note that Canada's population is
almost exclusively along the U.S. border. Moving east to Europe,
there is a high population concentration along the Mediterranean Coast.
It's easy to spot London, Paris, Stockholm and Vienna. Check out
the development of Israel compared to the rest of the Arab countries.
Note the Nile River and the rest of the
"Dark Continent". After the Nile, the lights don't come on again
until Johannesburg. Look at the AustralianOutback and the Trans-Siberian
Rail Route. Moving east, the most striking observation is the difference
between North and South Korea. Note the density of Japan.
What a piece of photography. It is
an absolutely awesome picture of the Earth taken from the Boeing built Space
Station last November on a perfect night with no obscuring atmospheric
conditions.
Click here:
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
12/09/2001
R&I
"PAYOLA? PAYOLA? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' PAYOLA" We have "Play
For Pay." So how come Alan Freed had to take so much heat? Compared to the
present Record and Radio moguls, Alan was a pussy cat! He played records most
stations wouldn't. When you think about it, racial profiling started on "white bread"
Radio. Alan Freed never played a Pat Boone cover record like "Tutti Fruity" -- and
neither did I. But for $3500 bucks a week, our Stations might've made us.
Pay for play is allegedly filling the sales void at Entercom Communications on some of
their 96 Radio stations. They figure it is like selling a three minute commercial. The
package contains some info supplied by the record company and a disclaimer at the
end in the form of "brought to you by" -- plus anywhere from 35 to 49 plays a week for a
price tag of $3000 to $3500 a week. I know record executives that would KILL for a
chance to get 5 - 7 plays a day on a record THEY could pick coming right
out-of-the-box.
No argument that there is a lack of new music in todays programming, which is further
stifled by rules that forbid disc jockeys from commenting about the music -- or even
introducing songs. Perhaps it is time to take the music away from programmers who
rely on focus groups and call out research, which only tends to stifle creativity, and put the
music into the hands of Music Professionals. We all know there are MORE than a
handful of "Safe Songs" in every format worthy of play.
So, I ask you again: "How come Alan had to take so much heat back in 1960?
Art Roberts
WE LOST SOME GREAT FRIENDS: [RIP] Stan Kaplan died on Monday, December
3rd. Stan and his wife Sis Kaplan were radio pioneers and dear friends of Bill Gavin.
They owned WAYS-AM and WROQ-FM in Charlotte, NC from 1965 until 1986. After that
they founded the Charlotte Weekly, which later became The Leader. Stan was 76.
[RIP] Kal Mann, who wrote the lyrics for many 60's classics -- such as Chubby Checker's
"The Twist," the Dovells' "Bristol Stomp," and for legendary artists Andy Williams, Nat
King Cole, Bobby Rydel, etc., died last week. Kal was 84.
[RIP] Grady Martin, the master guitarist who played on classic recordings such as "El
Paso," "Oh, Pretty Woman" and "Battle of New Orleans" and worked with just about
everybody from Willie Nelson to Bing Crosby to Buddy Holly, Hank Williams and Elvis
Presley, died last Monday. Grady was 72.
"THINKIN' JINGLE BELLS:" GREAT gift idea. An autographed copy of my book
"THINKIN' OUT LOUD?" Radio Professionals and Fans of Radio love it. My dog Willie
loves it. Folks even love the cover. And it gets better ... The price per book is just $15.
You can also buy the BOOK and the HIP FABLES CD for $25. NO SHIPPING
CHARGES. Order Today through PAY PAL ON THE FRONT PAGE of ArtRoberts.Com
I Thank you. My publisher thanks you. And your feet will thank you.
JOHN LENNON REMEMBERED: The time clock of life Ticks by so fast. John
Lennon was born on October 9, 1940, in Liverpool, England. He had 482 months to go.
His dad worked on a ship, so he was gone a lot, and finally settled in New Zealand.
John's Aunt Mimi brought him up in Liverpool. She even bought his first guitar. John
started out with a bunch of skiffle groups, and in 1960, put together a group called The
Beatles -- John, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Pete Best. The clock was
ticking. 242 months to go.
Brian Epstein became their manager and arranged an audition with Decca Records ...
who turned them down. Well, we all make mistakes. The were signed by EMI, picked up
Ringo Starr, and proceeded to create musical history.
John and his girlfriend, Cynthia Powell decided to get married in August,1962, and they
had a son, Julian, born on April 8, 1963. The Beatles were really cooking by then, so
John couldn't get to the hospital until two days after his son's birth. It was a signal to
Cynthia of what was in store for the future.
History was made when Brian Epstein booked the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show in
February of 1964. Seventy-two million people watched that show, which set a new
record for TV broadcasting. John had 202 months to go.
The Beatles became the most popular group in history. Their world changed rapidly --
John got into LSD, met Yoko Ono at a concert, and they soon became an "item."
Cynthia called it quits, filed for divorce, and John and Yoko were married in Gibraltar.
They celebrated by having a "bed-in" -- staying in bed for a week to protest the suffering
and violence in the world. The clock kept ticking ... 105 months to go.
The Beatles broke up in 1970. John and Paul did not part as friends, but they called a
truce two years later. John and Yoko moved into the Dakota, a swanky apartment
building on the upper west side of New York. Yoko gave birth to their son, Sean Taro
Ono Lennon on John's birthday in 1975. There were sixty months to go.
John became a doting daddy and stayed home while Yoko took care of their business
affairs. On the day of John's 40th birthday and Sean's 5th, Yoko surprised them with a
sky writer who had his plane carve "Happy Birthday John & Sean - Love Yoko", nine
times in the blue sky above. Little did they know that Mark David Chapman, a mentally ill
man in Honolulu had checked out John's book, "One Day At A Time" from the library and
was plotting to kill John.
On December 8, 1980, around 5PM, John autographed a copy of "Double Fantasy" for
Mark David Chapman, and in turn, sealed his own doom. Later that evening, as John
and Yoko returned home, Mark called out, "Mr. Lennon." As John turned, he was shot
five times in back. Struggling to the security guard's office, he collapsed crying, "I'm
shot, I'm shot." Police arrived immediately and brought him to Roosevelt Hospital. John
was pronounced dead on arrival. The clock froze. Time had run out. A man so
embedded in "Peace" was so swiftly brought to a violent end.
Back at the Dakota, Mark David Chapman gave up without a struggle. A worldwide
10-minute silent vigil took place on December 14, 1980 at 2PM Eastern Time in John's
memory. The ceremony continues to this day.
PRARIE HOME COMPANION COMES TO BUFFALO: WNED brings Garrison
Keillor to Buffalo! Tune in to WNED-FM 94.5 for a national holiday broadcast of A
Prairie Home Companion LIVE from Shea's Performing Arts Center on December 22 at
6 pm.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "We keep moving forward, opening up new doors, and doing
new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." --
Walt Disney
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: A guy takes his dog into a bar. The bartender tells
him, "Excuse me sir, but we do not allow dogs in the bar." The guy replies, "This isn't just
an ordinary dog. This dog is a Cowboy's fan and he only wants to come in to see the
game. After that we'll leave." The bartender says okay, he'll let the dog stay for the
game.
Well, the game comes on tv and everyone in the bar is watching it when Dallas kicks a
field goal. The dog starts jumping up and down and then runs down the bar high fiving
everyone. The bartender is really impressed and says, "Man that dog really gets excited
when the Cowboys play doesn't he? If he high-fives everyone when the Cowboys kick a
field goal, but what does he do when they score a touchdown?"
The man says, "I don't know, I've only had him for two years."
MY PAL PERRY SEZ-- "NAME THESE TWISTED CHRISTMAS SONGS?"
1. Bleached Yule
2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
3. Righteous Darkness
4. Far Off in a Feeder
5. Bantam Male Percussionist
6. Nocturnal Noiselessness
7. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
8. Frozen Precipitation Commence
9. The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis
10. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals
OOOOHHHH, SUCHA BLABBERMOUTH: Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon
delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Here's one of the Great Pioneer Rock Radio stations ...
WKBW, BUFFALO. www.buffalobroadcasting.com (click on "enter" , click "skip
intro," A series of small pictures will come on the screen. Click the second on the left
which is 'broadcast history.' click on to WKBW HISTORY. "KB Goes Kaboom! 1958."
Thank you Martin (Marty) Biniasz.
www.buffalobroadcasting.com
That's it for this week. ART ROBERTS
R&I
WHO WOULD
EVER THINK A BEATLES INTERVIEW COULD BECOME A LEGEND?
On April 16, 1964, Ron Riley and I had a transcontinental conversation
with the Beatles in London. They were at a recording studio
cutting "A Hard Days Night," the title song of their first
movie. Many of you have asked for a copy ... and someone was
nice enough to send a transcript of the interview. It was only
five minutes long, and was cut off abruptly at their end ... the
Beatles were probably called back into the studio. But it WAS
five minutes of music history. I DEDICATE THIS MOMENT IN
TIME TO GEORGE HARRISON.
RR: Hello, Paul, this is
Ron Riley at WLS Chicago. How are you?
P: Hello, Ron! How ya
doing?
RR: And with me here is
Art Roberts. Art?
AR: How you doing, Paul?
P: Fine, thanks.
RR: Well, I'm glad we
could place this phone call to you, we have a big Saturday Night
Spectacular, I'm glad we could get across.
P: Great.
RR: I tell ya, the big
question about you, Paul, first of all, is...
P: Yeah?
RR: Are you married?
P: No.
RR: No, you're not.
P: I'm not.
RR: Uh-huh. Do you have
plans to get married?
P: Ah... no. No, no plans,
y'know.
RR: Well, there's been -
there's been a lot of talk in this country, Paul, about you and a
young lady named Jane Asher.
P: Yeah, she's my
girlfriend.
RR: She is your
girlfriend?
P: Yeah, she's my
girlfriend.
RR: But are you engaged?
P: No. It's just a healthy
relationship.
RR: Well, wonderful. I
think that'll ease a lot of minds.
P: Well, it's certainly...
RR: ...call you the bouncy
Beatle, Paul, why do they do that?
P: Do they? Well, uh,
actually... I've no idea why. Why do they call me that? They call me
some other things, too, but....
RR: [laughs] All right,
Paul, thank you very much, and maybe if we could talk to George next,
and uh...
P: Okay, goodbye.
RR: Bye, and thank you.
P: Best of wishes to
everybody.
AR: Hello, George.
G: Hello, how are you?
AR: Fine. This is Art
Roberts in Chicago on WLS. I understand you had the idea for the type
of haircuts that you perform with. Now, how did that come about?
G: Um... well, a couple of
years ago, y'know, we - we had it long, but it was sort of backwards
and sideways and everything, but... Paul and John went to Paris, and
had it done over there, but it didn't work out. And I went to the
baths in Hamburg and when it - when I came out, by the time it dried
out, it was just like this, and, y'know, it just developed like that.
Couple of years ago.
AR: You mean - you mean,
you got the idea for the haircut from taking a bath in Hamburg?
G: Well, when it dried out
- we, we just... it just happened like that, y'know, we didn't plan to
have funny haircuts.
AR: [laughing:] That's
tremendous. Okay, George, it's been a lot of fun talking to you, and
let's, as you say, ring off for a moment, and see if we can't get
Ringo Starr on the telephone.
G: Yeah, okay. Goodbye,
Art.
R: How are you?
AR: Fine. My name is Art
Roberts, in Chicago.
R: Hello, Art, how are
you?
AR: Radio station WLS. And
I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions, and then I'll turn you over
to my buddy, Ron Riley, who has a couple more to ask of you. First of
all, you - you are known for the rings that you wear on your finger,
do they have any particular significance? You know, is there a story
behind them?
R: Just people kept buying
me them, you see. And I had nowhere else to put them, so I put them on
me fingers.
AR: Uh-huh. Rings on your
fingers and bells on your toes.
R: Well, I haven't got
down to the bells yet.
AR: Oh, okay! [laughs]
R: I dunno, though.
AR: Hold on for a second,
I'll let you talk to Ron Riley.
RR: All right, can you
tell us, what kind of car do you drive? I know they flip knowing over
this.
R: Um, well, no - no, I
haven't got a car of me own, y'see.
RR: Uh-huh.
R: I drive anybody's.
RR: Oh, really? Anybody's?
R: Anybody's.
RR: Anyone who happens to
leave the keys in it, huh?
R: Pardon?
RR: Anybody...
R: Oh yeah, anyone - yeah.
RR: [laughing:] No, I'm
puttin' you on. Really.
R: I know. Have you got a
car?
RR: Oh, yes, I've got one,
but...
R: I'll drive yours, eh?
RR: No, listen, you can -
you're welcome to it!
R: Thank you.
RR: And I imagine I
wouldn't have any trouble getting the car full of girls to ride with
you. All right. Listen, Ringo, thank you so much, and we're gonna...
R: Thank you as well.
RR: We're gonna talk to
John in just a minute, and we'll be looking forward - Art and I no
doubt will be on stage along with you when you're here in town to help
along with the MC'ing chores and we really look forward to it.
R: Yeah. Okay, then?
RR: All right, we'll talk
to uh...
R: John now.
RR: John.
R: Give my regards to
everybody. Bye.
RR: Goodbye now.
AR: See ya Ringo. How's
everything in England this evening for you?
J: Well, it's great, but
it's raining over here.
AR: Ohh. Son of a gun.
J: As usual. And we're
just recording, as Paul told you.
AR: Mm-hmm. And, um, it's
for your motion picture, right?
J: Yeah, it's the title
song.
AR: Would you like to tell
us a little bit about just what in particular are - is The Beatles
group gonna do in this movie?
J: Well, apart from
singing about eight songs, uh... it's meant to be a comedy. The film.
Y'know, mainly.
AR: Oh, it won't - it
won't be John Lennon as William Shakespeare or anything like that?
J: Oh, no, nothing... none
of that rubbish. Y'know, we just sort of play ourselves, and just, mad
things happen, y'know, that's about it.
AR: Well, it sounds
wonderful. Um, now that's for United Artists - what's the name of the
motion picture again?
J: A Hard Day's Night.
AR: Uh-huh. A Hard
Day's...
J: Ringo thought of it.
AR: Yeah, you have to
think on that title for a while.
J: Yeah, y'know, it's a
nice title.
AR: I have to say this, I
saw your wife on television, and she is very, very lovely.
J: What was she doing on
television?
AR: You didn't know, but
you were.
J: When was she on?
AR: At one particular time
when you were making a guest appearance in the United States, and they
panned the camera off on her.
J: Oh.
AR: Yeah, you didn't know
a thing about it, did you?
J: No, are you sure it was
my wife?
AR: Yeah, I hope it was.
If not, you're in trouble!
WE LOST SOME FRIENDS: George Harrison
died Thursday, November 29th, following a lengthy battle with
cancer. He was known as the Quiet Beatle. George was
58. "All Things Must Pass."
O.C. Smith, who sang with
the Count Basie band, and left us with songs like "That's
Life" and the Grammy-award winning "Little Green
Apples," in the 1960's, died Friday, November 23rd. In
later years, O.C. became a minister. He conducted a Thanksgiving
service on Thursday .. the day before he died. O.C. was 65.
NOVEMBER GLOBAL REPORT: Thirty-two
Countries visited ArtRoberts.com in the month of November. The
top ten in order of hits are: Canada, United Kingdom, Old Style
Arpanet, Belgium, Australia, France, Sweden, Mexico, Japan and New
Zealand. These countries were followed by Finland, Poland,
Spain, Italy, Denmark, Switzerland, Hungary, Malaysia, Taiwan and
Croatia. The final twelve in November were Saudi Arabia, Costa
Rica, Estonia, Cote D'Ivoire (Ivory Coast), Greece, Indonesia,
Singapore, Coco Islands, Germany, Lithuania, Norway and Slovak
Republic.
"THINKIN' JINGLE BELLS:" GREAT
gift idea. An autographed copy of my book "THINKIN' OUT
LOUD?" Radio Professionals and Fans of Radio love it.
My dog Willie loves it. Folks even love the cover. And it
gets better ... The price per book is just $15. You can also buy
the BOOK and the HIP FABLES CD for $25. NO SHIPPING CHARGES.
Order Today through PAY PAL ON THE FRONT PAGE of ArtRoberts.Com
I Thank you. My publisher thanks you. And your feet will
thank you.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Class is an aura
of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has
nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is
self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure footedness
that comes with having proved you can meet life." - -
Ann Landers
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING:
Written on the packaging
for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
BATMAN HAS THE RIDDLER -- WE HAVE MY PAL PERRY:
I walk, but have no legs. I sleep, but never dream. You
can rock me in a cradle, but I am not a babe and I can go around the
world faster than you can cross a room. What am I?
RADIO'S BUSIEST BUSYBODY: Radio
Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ...
AND MORE ... EVERYDAY ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Hocus Pocus -- Halla
Kazzam -- Wait'll you see where you were -- Hot Damn!
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
R&I
FORMATS OR FLOOR MATS? In the beginning,
finding a " first Job" in Radio is a crapshoot. You'll
play any number that turns up. As time passes and you grow into
a seasoned announcer, ready to spread your wings, management might
have a tendency to nail you into a corner. "We love the job
you are doing in mid-days, Fred, keep up the good work."
Poor Fred has been doing middays for four years. He dreams of
doing a morning show, has 3 yellow pads full of ORIGINAL ideas ...
Fred is watching the world pass him by. Worse than that -- the
station could be sold.
Get your head out of the
sand, Fred -- every performer reaches
"the-end-of-a-run-of-a-play." Time to find a new part;
a new challenge.
"Mirror, Mirror on
the wall, who's the best Morning show of them all?"
"You are Fred. Now go out and prove it."
(Glad we skipped the handsome part.)
Start by being creative in
the space you own, middays -- and not with that yellow pad of
treasured bits. Consider that your "Practice pad."
Offer interesting inserts that work for the audience and the format.
Think about WHO is out there. Clerical. Homemakers.
Lotsa cars. Mom and Pop businesses. Students. Lotsa
cars. Talk to them one at a time. Let them know YOU know
they are there. Before long, a bond will be formed. Tell
ya how you will know -- When you pick up the phone and the voice on
the other end says, "Hi Fred, this is Alice..." First
names are a handshake.
You're ready Freddy.
Network. Spread the word. Follow every lead. Put
together a Dynamite tape. When you get your first "eyeball
to eyeball meeting," mesmerize the interviewer. It's do or
die Freddy... Your choice. Own the Morning in your Format or
wind up a floor mat. Come on, come on ... We haven't got all
day...
... Art
Roberts
RADIO FREE
AFGHANISTAN: Radio
messages are being broadcast to Afghanistan. The USA has upped
the ante to $25 Million for a roadmap to Usama's cave. I got a
phone call asking if last weeks column stimulated or hastened the
radio broadcast. Truthfully, I doubt it ... but who cares.
The real credit belongs to Senator Joe Biden, the Democrat chairman of
the Senate foreign relations committee, who is the driving force
behind the effort, which covers more than just radio broadcasting.
It is a new phase in the propaganda war against terrorists and adds a
third (TV) tier for the US in the media battle, which includes a
beefed-up Voice of America and a new Radio Free Afghanistan. The
entire effort is backed by $500 Million. For once we are
reaching the Right people. Sure beats flashing Usama's picture
on "America Most Wanted."
RON BIN
RILEY BIN AWARDED: "How
you Bin - I Bin down to Washington with Linda last night and Bin
awarded. Now it's over, the silver plate Bin put in the cabinet
with the Hummel's. I was really nervous - and as the last guy up
on the
Podium, I was actually shaky. Image that! I bin doing that
stuff all my life - but it wasn't a hop, it wasn't a classroom, it
wasn't people I know personally when I can relax, it was a room full
of peers - anchor people from all the channels, Chris Mathews
(Hardball MSNBC) who is married to one of the Channel 7 anchors -
College professorial types who teach communications, Washington DC
industry professionals. My Gawd! But I guess I did okay.
The station produced a 3-minute tape of my TV (and WLS stuff) on it
and I talked for 2 or 3 minutes. You know Art how us guys feel -
'been there done that'. One of the things I said was "one
of our new out of college PA's (production assistants) said that she
saw my tape after it was produced - and said - how old are you?
- I said - well I'm younger than Dick Clark - and she said,
"who's Dick Clark?" True story!"
"We had a round of 10
for the dinner - 5 of us from News Channel 8 and 5 more came down from
Maryland Public TV. I was honestly overwhelmed. I
don't want to go on and on about this as I may become boring - so
excuse me - it's just an emotional dump to a friend. Hope you're
coming along ok. RON RILEY
HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU HEAR "GRAMMA GOT RUN OVER BY A
REINDEER?" The toughest decision a
Programmer has to face is WHEN and HOW to start Christmas Music
Programming. His / Her choice usually sends shivers down the
Station Managers spine. Especially when the PD decides NOT to
ease into the "Season to be Jolly," but instead, jump into
the deep end of the pool. In Cincinnati, WGRR-FM began 24
hour Christmas programming at 9:PM Friday, November 16, and will be
known through the season as "Christmas 103.5." By
Noon, the next day, WVMX - MIX94.1 started their "Round the
clock" Christmas music. Typical Radio. Chase the
competition. Who will be the first to use the slogan, "THE
MOST CHRISTMAS MUSIC IN CINCINNATI?"
Actually, it is not a bad
idea. Stations getting the jump on "All Christmas -- All
day" music are staying in step with the shopping trend.
Malls are jammed, sales are everywhere, lines are long, the X-BOX is
almost sold out, and shopping carts look like Santa's sleigh.
Have to agree ... it IS a good fit.
But every rainbow has an
end. KBME (790 AM). Houston, TX started their Christmas music
Monday morning, November 19, and intend to play just Christmas music,
24/7, all the way through New Year's Day." Hold on there
Hoss ... After December 25th ... Continuing a steady diet of Christmas
Music sounds like a "TUNE - OUT" to me!
"TIRED OF CROWDED MALLS AND MEGA STORES?"
GREAT gift idea. How about an autographed copy of my
book "THINKIN' OUT LOUD?" Radio Professionals and Fans
of Radio love it. My dog Willie loves it. Folks even love
the cover. And it gets better ... The price per book is just
$15. You can also buy the BOOK and the HIP FABLES CD for $25.
NO SHIPPING CHARGES. Order Today through PAY PAL ON THE FRONT
PAGE of ArtRoberts.Com I Thank
you. My publisher thanks you. And your feet will thank
you.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "If you want to
win anything -- a race, yourself, your life -- you have to go a little
berserk." ... George Sheehan
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: Frank was a
happily married man who had only one complaint: His wife, Myra,
was always nursing sick birds. One cold November evening he came home
to find a raven with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite
chair. On the dining room table there was a feverish eagle
pecking at an aspirin tablet, while in the kitchen Myra was comforting
a shivering wren.
Frank dropped his
briefcase and strode over to where his wife was toweling down the cold
little bird.
"Myra!" he
shouted. "I can't take it anymore! We've got to get
rid of all of these da..."
Myra held up her hand and
cut him off in mid-curse. "Please dear," she said.
"Not in front of the chilled wren!"
MY PAL PERRY NAMES THE TOP 10 THANKSGIVING MOVIE THEMES:
10. To Kill A
Walking Bird
9. Thighs Wide
Shut
8. The Texas
Coleslaw Massacre
7.
Casserolablanca
6. Silence of
the Yams
5. I
Know What You Ate Last Winter
4. All
the President's Menu
3. White
Meat Can't Jump
2. When
Harry Met Salad
1. The
Wing and I
IT AINT NEWS 'TIL LARRY SEZ IT'S NEWS: Radio
Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ...
AND MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Mysteries of the
Sixties -- like learning how to make Incense. "What's that
smell in your room?" "Nothing Dad!"
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
11/18/2001
R&I
THINK TANK THOUGHTS: POLITICALLY CORRECT IS AN
OXYMORON ... So are the people who perpetuate it. Like the Berkeley
crowd in California who have defended the wrong side of their street for 40
years. The snide remarks about our President made by comics and
commentators on TV. Can't hardly tell 'em apart these days.
(Which idiot is going to interview Osama first?) And while THEY are
burning our flag over there, the "How Quick They Forget Crowd"
corroborate the protestors in Afghanistan and Pakistan under the
"Everybody Has Rights" banner. Graffiti is fine on big city
buildings and bridges ... just don't put up a sign that says "God Bless
America" in front of a school. Those who consider that a prayer--
have never prayed. God forbid we offend ANYONE with a slogan, a song,
a flag pin, or a bumper sticker. The few; The pathetic;
The pain-in-the-ass protestors who use the Bill Of Rights as if it was
theirs alone. The icing on this "Nutcake" comes from the
Hollywood crowd who agreed to help in the War effort, as long as they do not
have to produce any "Propaganda." Now that is an oxymoron of
Mammoth proportions. Where the Hell do these people come from?
Where is John Wayne when you need him?
Propaganda is the bat they're using to beat us over the head. We can
bomb the Taliban and the Al-Qaida, chase them out of their cities, root them
out of caves ... but until we take the initiative and hammer home the
message of WHY we are there, and WHOM we are after, WE REMAIN the bad guys.
Go to Hollywood to produce propaganda films? ... Who is going to see them?
There are only two ways to reach the people of Afghanistan... short-wave and
AM Radio. That's it, Bubba. No, The Voice of America (VOA) won't work.
They are supposed to paint a rosy picture of the USA, but rumor has it they
are infected by Taliban sympathizers. We need a new mouthpiece.
We need RADIO FREE AFGHANISTAN. (RFA). Radio has a clear shot on
the AM dial and the people in Afghanistan listen to their AM transistor
radios. No FM. No TV. No newspaper. AM Radio is it.
So where's the problem? Washington is the problem. They are
bottlenecked by an almost $300 Billion Muslim diplomacy package Senator Joe
Biden is pushing. Excuuuse Me!
There are 1.2 BILLION Muslim's throughout the world, and most won't believe
in us until they hear the TRUE story ... over and over again. The
Trade Center Bombing. The Evil of Osama bin Laden and his Terrorist
acts inflicted AGAINST Muslims. The atrocities of the Al-Qaida
and The Taliban. The US focus and world support. In short -- The
Truth.
Radio Free Afghanistan IS the answer. Hit the airwaves. There is
a lot of reward money out there... Reach the people who have a
shot at earning it.
Art Roberts
AN UPDATE FROM BOB SIROTT: "Check out the
WTTW, Channel 11 web site---
www.NetworkChicago.com
Starting Monday, If you go there and click into "Chicago
Stories" you can find an amazing amount of behind the scenes
information about all the bands featured on our show. There's also a
musing or two from Clark Weber as well as a few web sites that will be of
interest to fans of Chicago music and radio from the 60's. Hope you're
doing great!" ... BOB
HERE COMES THE COMPETITION! At a news
conference in Chicago, XM President and CEO Hugh Panero announced that XM
Satellite Radio has expanded its launch of the first U.S. digital satellite
radio service nationwide, bringing 100 channels of music, news, sports and
entertainment across the entire continental United States. According
to our friends at XM Satellite Radio: "It is to FM what FM was to AM 30
years ago -- A revolution." Whatcha think about that?
Art@Artroberts.com
HERE'S ONE FOR THE WINE TASTERS SCRAPBOOK:
Peter Buck, guitarist with REM, allegedly drank 15 glasses of wine during a
transatlantic flight to London on British Airways, back in April. The
trial is being held this week. Yes, I said 15 glasses. He is
charged with "appalling" behavior. What is "appalling
behavior?" Oh, stuff like dumping a tub of Yogurt on a cabin
service manager and himself; Overturning the hostess cart, spewing dishes,
cereal, honey, and milk down the isle; Getting stuck between the seats;
Trying to slip a knife up his sleeve, and when this was snatched away from
him, Peter allegedly said: "I am REM and I can make up a story that I
was assaulted."
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Why would anyone serve a passenger
FIFTEEN glasses of wine?
THE TEXAS RADIO HALL OF FAME: I am proud (and
humbled) to be included in the prestigious list comprising The Texas Radio
Hall of Fame Founding Board of Directors. Allow me to introduce you to
all Fifteen:
CONGRATULATIONS: Ron Chapman -- named VP of
Programming for Infinity's Dallas stations which include KVIL, KOAI, KRLD,
KYNG, KRBV. Ron will continue to host his Morning Show (5:30 to 10 AM)
on KLUV and will also oversee programming on KLUV and all of the Infinity
stations.
THE MAGIC OF MICHAEL: Michael Jackson ... to
put it bluntly ... Kicked Butt with his 30th Anniversary Celebration on CBS.
From 9-11 PM The King of Pop reigned Supreme. He pulled in Fifty
percent more viewers than the time slot usually enjoys.
"DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, BUT WE HAVE SNOW ON THE
MOUNTAIN" And it's beginning to look like
Christmas? Got a gift idea. How about an autographed copy of my
book "THINKIN' OUT LOUD?" Trumpets are blaring from both
Radio Professionals and Fans of Radio. My dog Willie likes it.
Folks even love the cover. And it gets better ... The price per book
is just $15. You can also buy the BOOK and the HIP FABLES CD for $25.
NO SHIPPING CHARGES. Order Today through PAY PAL ON THE FRONT PAGE of
ArtRoberts.Com I Thank you. My publisher thanks you.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Give me a museum and
I'll fill it." -- Pablo Picasso
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: With all the bad
news going around, I think I've found inner peace. My therapist told
me a way to achieve inner peace was to finish things I had started.
Today I finished 2 bags of potato chips, a lemon pie, a fifth of Jack
Daniels and a small box of chocolate candy.
I feel better already. :-)
MY PAL PERRY KNOWS ALL ABOUT DEM MINNESOTA COMPUTERS:
LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter
LOG OFF: don't add no more vood
MEGA HERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning
RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork
ENTER: come on in
WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero
CHIP: vhat you munch during Vikings games
MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone
MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly
LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit
MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard
YUMPIN' YIMMENY, HOW DOES LARRY FIND OUT ALL DOZE TINGZ? Radio
Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND
MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: A dear friend in Texas --
and one of MY mentors, Al "Schoolboy" Turner -- told me:
"While you're here, live life to the fullest, like it was
'Butter-in-the-Well-on-the-North-Side'. And when you're gone ...
leave some footprints, so them young bucks can follow and learn somethin'."
JIMMY RABBITT is still leading the way ...
www.jimmyrabbitt.com
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
R&I
NO
ONE SHOULD GO IT ALONE:
My first day on the team. I was all of twelve, 5 foot 7, 145 pounds, and
one of the fastest kids in class. The ball was snapped to our
quarterback who shoved it into my arms. I instinctively clutched the
football, turned and headed towards the goalposts which seemed to be a mile
down the field. The next thing I felt was somebody grabbing my legs and
feeling my body crashing to the ground. (Ever have the wind knocked out
you? What a helpless feeling.) Our coach kneeled down and tugged
at my pants to allow more breathing room. I spent the next 20 minutes
resting on the sidelines, and figured, "Oh good! I'll stay here and
watch the game." No such luck. The coach gave me a mini
lesson in "falling down without breaking my neck." I carried
the ball for the next three years and scored my share of touchdowns ...
Realizing what a good coach was all about. They are great observers.
And they understand direction.
One year later, at 13, 5'8'', 145
pounds (Yes, I grew an inch and stayed there) I found my next great coach.
Cozy Cole. Walking up steep concrete steps of an old building on
fortysomething street, I opened the door to a music studio and met Cozy for
the first time. Pointing to a practice pad, he said: "Play
something." I did ... sort of. Then he said, "I'll teach
you to play ... but the first you'll have to learn is how to hold the
sticks." Me and the practice pad spent a lot of hours together.
Cozy's coaching whittled out a pretty fine Jazz drummer ... one rudiment at a
time. By the ripe old age of fifteen I was sitting-in with some great
jazz groups in the city. Years later we met at The London House in
Chicago and I told him how proud I was to play "Topsy" when it was
released. "Was I a good teacher?" he asked. "More
than that, Cozy, You are a great Coach." He gave me that same smile
as he did when I finally mastered a difficult beat.
No matter how well a person
performs their craft, they will have a need to grow in a different direction.
I chose Freelancing. After tripping my way through the world of
Commercials, I realized that just about everything I read sounded the same.
A colleague at the station, Brad Bisk, suggested I attend the Actors Workshop
in Chicago. Meeting my new VOICE coach for the first time was a real
trip. He handed me a piece of paper and said: "Read this."
I did, and he said: "We are going to start with Shakespeare. Once
you master reading Shakespeare out loud, you'll never have to do a pimple
commercial again." I spent the next three or four months making
Billy Shakespeare proud of me. After that, I went from one scene to
another -- each pointing to a new direction. My coach was coaching and I
was growing. It all culminated with THIS scene -- I played the
part of a concerned lover who was trying to convince his girlfriend not to run
off with a rich individual who was promising to take care of her handicapped
brother. The crux of this scene was simply calling out her name.
The task, however, was to say her name in great anger caused by her decision
to leave me for what she felt was a noble reason. We rehearsed this scene week
after week, and finally I said her name so vehemently, she jumped and trembled
in fear. I was ready. My client list exploded.
The reason for this article is in
response to many e-mails from radio professionals who feel stagnant in their
growth. The cloning of formats and shrinking of staffs has created a
void in the cultivation of talent. Yea, Verily, I say, seek out thy own
GREAT Coach. Someone who has done it all ... and continues to conquer
new horizons. Might I be so bold as to trumpet a name? Ray Van
Steen. The very same Peter Fugitive of old. Ray has been offering
individual Private Voice Coaching sessions for years, in the craft of
announcing, narrating, acting on Radio and TV Commercials, and Film sound
tracks. Contact him.
Ray Van Steen
325 West Huron Street Suite 512
Chicago, IL 60610
Phone: 312 / 587-1010
FAX: 312 / 337-5125
Trust me ... You will never have
to do a pimple spot again!
Art Roberts
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CREATIVE RADIO SALES???
Problem: For the third quarter, radio ad sales are down locally and
nationally ... BIG TIME. Solution: Fire a bunch of people!
Terrific. CO's, COO's and VP's of Sales STILL DON'T GET IT!!!
There's more to sell at a radio station than just commercials and remotes, and
a Sales Manager sitting around waiting for the phone to ring with an
occasional regional or national buy. I believe with all my heart --
Radio Advertising offers the biggest bang for the buck. Properly
scheduled spots WORK. There are lots of untapped dollars ready to be
plucked. Find them. Own them.
Sounds to me like Radio is
burdened with more Order takers than Professional Sales Reps.
CONGRATULATIONS: Jack Swanson (KGO) -- named BEST
PROGRAM DIRECTOR by Radio Ink Magazine for the second year in a row. KGO-AM
has been number one in San Francisco for 93 consecutive ratings books.
How's that for consistency!
BOB SIROTT PROVES RADIO AND TV DOOO MIX: Bob's
back on the radio. First show will be at 12 Noon, Saturday, November
24th on Chicago's
WCKG-FM (105.9). He calls it "Bob Sirott's Comedy Collection,"
a one-hour program showcasing classic standup comedy routines. Most of
the tracks will come from his private collection, featuring everyone from Bob
Newhart to Chris Rock.
Meanwhile, in front of the
TV camera, another TV extravaganza from Bob Sirott will unfold.
"How Chicago Rocked The 60's" is the Chicago story of that brief
period of time from 64 to 68 when local bands and local radio joined forces to
put a lot of great music on the air. The New Colony Six, Buckinghams,
Cryan' Shames, Ides of March, Shadows of Knight, American Breed and Chicago
are all part of the show on Monday night, November 19, at 7:30pm on WTTW
Channel 11 in Chicago. Dick Biondi and Clark Weber will also be featured
on the show.
SAG HAS A NEW PREZ: Melissa Gilbert (Laura
Ingalls in "Little House on the Prairie") was elected
president of the Screen Actors Guild. She beat out Valerie Harper (Rhoda
Morgenstern on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show'' and later "Rhoda'')
in a tough battle that could end up being contested over a flaw in thousands
of ballots. Shades of Florida ... stay tuned.
"CHESTNUTS WITHOUT A ROASTING FIRE"
Okay, Okay, need a great gift idea for Christmas? How about an
autographed copy of my book "THINKIN' OUT LOUD?" Trumpets are
blaring from both Radio Professionals and Fans of Radio. They even love
the cover.
And it gets better ... The price
per book is just $15. You can also buy the book and the HIP FABLES CD
for $25. NO SHIPPING CHARGES. Order Today through PAY PAL ON THE
FRONT PAGE of ArtRoberts.Com Thanks
WE LOST ANOTHER FRIEND: Anyone who spent any
amount of time in the Chicago Media -- be it in Radio, TV, or Newspapers --
has been to The Billy Goat Tavern at Lower Wacker Drive for a cheeseburger,
maybe even two ... and heard Bill Charuchas shout "Cheeseborger,
Cheeseborger. No fries. Cheeps." Bill spent 37 years
flipping greasy burgers and kibitzing with the customers. Sadly, Bill
died October 23rd while on a trip to his native Greece. He was 75.
Think I'll have a drippy burger with "Double Cheese" tonight in his
honor. No fries. Just "Cheeps."
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "The man who has no
imagination has no wings." - Muhammad Ali
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: "My wife
suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled:
'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.'"
MY PAL PERRY HAS WOIDS ABOUT WOIDS": The
Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked to
supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the
winning entries:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is
coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.),
appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Negligent (adj.),
describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your
nightie.
4. Lymph (v.), to walk
with a lisp.
5. Gargoyle (n.), an
olive-flavored mouthwash.
6. Balderdash (n.), a
rapidly receding hairline.
7. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddish expressions.
8. Circumvent (n.),
the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
9. Pokemon (n), A
Jamaican proctologist
EXTRA, EXTRA -- READ ABOUT IT ALL !!! Radio Daily
News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE ...
EVERYDAY ...
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: A man of many talents ... and
one of my favorite talk show hosts. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet 'n greet
MARVELOUS JAY MARVIN.
http://www.thejaymarvinshow.com
That's
it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
R&I
CLEAR
CHANNEL BASHING: We
are a nation that plays EVERY game with only one goal in mind.
Winning. Like they say -- "If you are not the
leader-of-the-pack, the VIEW is always the same." Question
here is: "Who is the REAL threat?" The person lurking
in a dark doorway screaming, "Let's get the Big Guy" ...
or the Big Guy himself? Clear Channel Bashing has become open season
sport for Broadcast Industry critics. I have a theory about
critics ... they invariably write about things they can't do.
Most of the articles I
have read always compare today's radio with the magic of yesterday.
Got a news flash Bubba, "Yesterdays gone." Most
critics include the corroborating line -- "I love radio"
-- followed by a tirade of "would've, could've, should've"
suggestions -- three words that ceased to exist in our language years
ago. Clear Channel Bashers love to elaborate about the
corporation's 1200 station empire. Their control of markets,
music industry, concert venues, billboards, pricing, uniform
programming, use of syndicated talent in multi-markets, and
proprietary promotions. Yeah? So? Sounds like they
are playing by today's industry rules. Which, by the way, CCC
did not invent. The FCC did. And when they did, a lot of
Radio groups jumped on the bandwagon. Clear Channel just did it
better.
Radio has not changed --
it has evolved. My personal best was a 62 rating in Chicago
during the sixties. To equal that today I would need ten to twelve
markets. I would also need to be a part of Clear Channel or any
one of their top two competitors to accomplish this goal. Which
brings us to another rarely discussed issue. CCC has a lot of
competition. Heavy hitters.
My Mom always said,
"The proof is in the pudding." If the critics are
right; if Clear Channel Communications IS depriving the listeners of
local entertainment and choices, then the audience should disappear ~
dontcha think? Well, the top ten markets tell a different story.
Looking at the top 5 stations in the top 10 markets, CCC scores in
eight out of ten with 5 number 2 rankings; 4 number 3 rankings;
4 number 4 rankings; 2 number 5 rankings. 15 dominant
stations in 10 markets. No number one ratings, plus they blanked
out in two of the ten markets. Top formats are AC, CHR, URBAN, SOFT
JAZZ, and (1)NEWS.
That tells me Clear
Channel Communications has a lot of growth left in the top 10 markets.
And they are successful despite fierce competition. So, what's
the beef?
Art Roberts
CHICAGO'S CHANNEL 11 HONORS LOCAL 60'S GROUPS: Another
labor of love from Bob Sirott. "How Chicago Rocked
The 60's" is the Chicago story of that brief period of time from
64 to 68 when local bands and local radio joined forces to put a lot
of great music on the air. The New Colony Six, Buckinghams,
Cryan' Shames, Ides of March, Shadows of Knight, American Breed and
Chicago are all part of the show on Monday night, November 19, at
7:30pm on WTTW Channel 11 in Chicago. Dick Biondi and Clark
Weber will also be featured on the show.
"MAKIN' YOUR LIST, CHECKING IT TWICE":
Stuck on what to give for Christmas? How about an autographed
copy of my book "THINKIN' OUT LOUD?" Response has been
outstanding from both Radio Professionals and Fans of Radio.
Gee, it's hard to be humble!
And it gets better ... The
price per book is just $15. You can also buy the book and the
HIP FABLES CD for $25. NO SHIPPING CHARGES. Order through
PAY PAL ON THE FRONT PAGE of ArtRoberts.Com Thanks
MINNEAPOLIS NEWSROOMS BITE THE DUST: Here
we go again. Smack dab in the middle of a war. Threats of
further violence on American soil haunting us everyday. A
time when News Rules --- yet, in Minneapolis KSTP-TV and KSTC-TV, both
Hubbard Broadcasting, are dumping a bunch of newscasts and news staff.
Twenty full-time and four part-time employees got the boot.
KSTP-AM (1500) and their
new WIXK-FM (107.1) plan to consolidate the promotion and marketing
departments of the stations, the Hubbard Radio Network and the
general-sales promotion department for the stations, into one neat
group. Three people were axed. No changes made at KSTP-FM,
(KS95).
KSTP-TV will kill all
weekend local newscasts. KSTC-TV gets rid of their weekday
morning and 6:30 PM news. There is also a salary freeze in effect.
(That takes care of everyone!) Bad sales, Bad economy, and Bad
Terrorists are the reasons given. What about Bad Judgment?
A WEBSITE FOR ALL NATIONS: Five more
countries were added to the twenty seven reported last week.
That brings the total to THIRTY TWO nations clicking on to Art
Roberts.com in the month of October. Welcome -- Finland,
Denmark, Greece, Singapore and Turkey. Thank you for your
interest in American Radio.
WILL THE FCC SMOOTH OUT THE LAST BROADCAST SPEED BUMPS?
Oil and water do not mix. Neither does bank loans and
over extended broadcast groups in a weak economy. Many
Corporations are scrambling to re-negotiate their loans in an effort
to avoid having to unload properties in a depressed market.
While many groups are scratching to get enough cash to keep their
heads above water, the Big Guys like GE/NBC, Viacom, Disney, Clear
Channel, AOL Time Warner, et al, should have no trouble raising
"shopping" cash. The only thing in their way are FCC
antiquated "caps" and rules, which FCC chairman Michael
Powell wants to do away with, or at least, ease the regulations.
Probably starting with the "cross ownership rules" which
prohibit TV / newspaper / radio cross ownerships. This will open
a brand new Pandora's Box that will make smaller markets the new
Utopia.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "It is more
important to know where you are going than to get there quickly."
- - Mabel Newcomber
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: I think
things are really screwed up! My wife and I just stood in line
for nearly four hours, in the hot Florida sun, to get our flu shots at
the grocery store. I guess now we will have to sit for an hour
or so in the doctors office to get our milk and eggs! What ever
happened to the good old days? DALE
MY PAL PERRY AND "SLOGANS FOR THE SLOGANLESS":
CNN: When Disaster
Strikes, America Trusts.
USA NETWORK: Who's Got the Best Name? That's Right.
We Do.
TBS: Is, As and Always Will be: Home of the Braves.
QVC: Right About Now, a Real American Would Start Shopping.
NICKELODEON: No
Nightmares. Ever.
THE DISNEY CHANNEL: Why? Because They Hate Us.
SCI FI CHANNEL: Could've Been Worse. Could've Been Aliens.
HOME & GARDEN TV:
Suddenly, Growing Your Own Food Doesn't Sound So Stupid.
HISTORY CHANNEL:
Let's Review the Whole Hitler Thing Once More, Shall We?
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK: Radio
Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ...
AND MORE ... EVERYDAY ... www.radiodailynews.com
10/28/2001
R&I
MY GENERATION: My
generation watched WWII through the eyes of a child. Took our basic
training at the Loews Broadway movie theatre. While our parents
prayed for peace, we saved chicken fat, bacon grease, aluminum foil
-- and hoped the war would last until we were old enough to fight.
My generation thought
'thirty something' was the price of gasoline.
My generation didn't
hang out at a muscle beach. We drove Muscle Cars. Traded often. Why
not? -- They cost less than 3 Grand.
My generation remembers
Radio when it was family entertainment. Theatre of the mind. AM
only.
My generation remembers
when Radio was local. Serving the community meant staying involved.
News was births to deaths to school closings -- and everything
in-between. Competition became a brotherhood. We cared. They cared.
My generation entered
Radio with eyes wide open and sleeves rolled up. Breaking records
became an art form. Record hops were played to a packed school gym.
A PD's job was to see the station never lost their license. A DJ's
job was to entertain. We thought this would last forever.
My generation likes to
UNDERSTAND the words to a song. We grew wiser with Bob Dylan ... HE
didn't.
Last week Ken Levine
experienced this first hand, and submitted the following Review ...
"Got a call at 5
from a friend offering me and Debby tickets to see the Bob Dylan
concert tonight at the Staples Center....from the owners' box. How
could we pass that up???
The band was fabulous,
Dylan's guitar playing top flight, but his singing -- not even
lucid. Moms Mabley with frizzy hair. The Manny Mota of Rock n Roll.
He performed for around two hours. I picked out the following words
in the first hour: could, Alabama, blue. I think he did some
familiar songs but you couldn't tell. Give us the words OR the
melody. He began one song and got a third of the way into it before
Debby and I realized he was singing BLOWING IN THE WIND
(seriously!!!).
There was no interaction
with the audience. Probably safer that way. I fully expected him to
say "How are you Houston?!"
But the seats were
great. Debby sat in Jerry Buss' actual chair. Mitch Kupchack was
sitting at her feet.
I think instead of
selling T-shirts and posters they should sell Bob Dylan decoder
kits.
The voice of our
generation makes no sense ... "
Art Roberts
TIME TO COUNT THE
COUNTRIES: We hit a Bonanza in the month of September! Twenty
seven Countries checked into ArtRoberts.com and once again Canada
leads the pack with Ireland ranking a close second -- followed by
Australia, United Kingdom, Norway, Old Style Arpanet, Czech
Republic, Sweden, Austria, and Switzerland making up the top ten.
The next in line were Japan, Italy, Taiwan, Brazil, Luxembourg,
Mexico, Netherlands, Iceland, France, and Belgium. These were
followed by Germany, Spain, Israel, Lithuania, Malaysia, Portugal
and the Russian Federation. Welcome all ... Fans of American Radio.
CHRISTMAS IS COMING:
I can always tell when Christmas is not far down the road. The
leaves on our Fire Bush by the front porch turn bright red as a
reminder that Santa is coming to town. Stuck on what to give? How
about an autographed copy of my book "THINKIN' OUT LOUD?"
Response has been outstanding from both Radio Professionals and Fans
of Radio. Gee, it's hard to be humble!
And it gets better
... The price per book is just $15. You can also buy the book and
the HIP FABLES CD for $25. NO SHIPPING CHARGES. Order through PAY
PAL ON THE FRONT PAGE of www.ArtRoberts.com Thanks
CONGRATULATIONS:
While Ron Riley was at WLS during the sixties he was a Top Rated
Disc Jockey. Ron worked very hard putting together an entertaining
three hours that people across America still remember. He applied
the same work ethic to his new career as a Weatherman for the
Washington, D.C. area and it has paid off ... Ron will be inducted
into the very prestigious Silver Circle at a ceremony hosted by the
Washington D.C. Television Academy. www.ron@ronriley.com
NEWS / TALK STRIVES
TO STRIKE A BALANCE: Events of 9/11/2001. America at war. How do
you catch a guy in a cave? Repeated Anthrax attacks. The threat of
another biological attack. Slumping stocks. Unemployment on the
rise. So, where's the relief billions? Supermarket prices on the
rise. Airline terminal turmoil. Recession. Depression. Does the INS
stand for "Incompetent Naturalization Service." Protestors
in OUR backyard. Politically Correct ... our nemesis? "New
Allies" ... can we trust them? How can we protect our borders?
All these issues are a News / Talk Radio smorgasbord. And damn
depressing.
How and at what point
should the format lighten up? Radio Talk show hosts need to find
that non-descript balance between discussing the heavy news that
surfaces everyday, and lighter subjects which cracks a smile and
removes a load from the listeners shoulders.
HOW DOES YOUR LOCAL NEWS
/ TALK FORMAT HANDLE THIS PROBLEM OF BALANCE? OR DO THEY?
"THE DAY AMERICA
CRIED" On September 11th, Johnny VanZant of Lynyrd Skynyrd
received a call from a close friend. The call was from a buddy of
his who was working on a rooftop in Manhattan. He told of how he
heard a loud explosion and looked up to see the first of two planes
slam into the World Trade Center. As he looked around at his many
co-workers, tears were streaming down their faces. As his friend
continued to talk, VanZant jotted down the words "the day
America cried." In a musical call-to-arms, VanZant then
contacted Grammy Award winner Jim Peterik, and entrusted him in
helping to make a vision come to life in a song. After three days
and nights of long-distance collaboration, that song was born.
"The Day America
Cried" single is the lead track from a CD full of music which
brings together some of classic rock's greatest artists in a
humanitarian effort. 100 percent of the net proceeds from the single
and full CD will go to the 911 Relief Project which was set up
specifically to support the efforts of the American Red Cross,
United Way's September 11th Fund and other related charities
We dedicate this project
to the victims, their families, and all of those affected by the
tragic events that occurred on September 11, 2001. Let these songs
of hope serve as a living prayer and reminder to help us to go
forward with strength and courage, and to stand united under God in
the belief of our freedom.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
"Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never." - Sir Winston
Churchill
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING:
When an octopus puts on deodorant, how does he remember where he
started?
"MY PAL PERRY
AND LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM A DOG":
1. If you stare at
someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
2. Don't go out without
an ID.
3. Be direct with
people; let them know exactly how you feel. (e.g. Piddle on their
shoes.)
4. Be aware of when to
hold your tongue, and when to use it.
5. Leave room in your
schedule for a good nap.
6. Always give people a
friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.
7. If it's not wet and
sloppy, it ain't a kiss.
"THERE AIN'T
NOBODY BETTER, BABY " Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon
delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE ... EVERYDAY ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK:
Used to wear m'boots to watch all them westerns. Fixed a bowl of
popcorn for Lucy. TV ratings for the Fifties, Sixties and Seventies.
10/21/2001
R&I
IDENTITY CRISIS: THE CURSE REMAINS
WITH US! "I
had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language
that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I
think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't
afraid of vacuum cleaners." ~ Shalom Aleichem
I always figured Radio lost its identity during
the riot-plagued 1968 (August 26) Democratic Convention. Not because of
police intervention. Not because of Army Jeeps wrapped in barbed wire.
We shed our identity for a small tag that served as an "admission
ticket" to the convention. Everyone was required to wear this tag.
For the first time, Radio, TV, Newspaper and Magazine reporters were lumped
together under a non-descript politically correct banner hung around their
neck labeled "MEDIA."
The 60's also gave us the dreaded "Red
Phone." Not only did it have an ungodly loud ring, it was attached
to a 300 watt bulb that sent a blinding light to get your attention - just in
case the loud ring wasn't heard. This was usually the private property
of a dictatorial PD who used a stopwatch to determine the content of a show.
"God Damn it, what the Hell are you doing. You talked for 14
seconds. Did you forget the format? Etc., etc." Did I
mention, as a group, these incompetent PD's had no tact? Thank goodness
I experienced only one such idiot. When the phone rang, I politely told
him never to call while I'm doing my show, and hung up. Ten seconds
later he came barreling through the studio door, screaming incoherently.
So, I politely gave him a choice - either he go out the studio door and never
come back, or go out the window on my right. He chose the door.
I remember having lunch with a record promotion
executive who told me about his dinner with a well known PD who was listening
to two stations at once while stuffing his face. He is one of the
pioneers of the many fractured formats that reduced Radio from creativity to a
commodity. Thirty plus years have gone by since a' cappella jingles
surfaced, yet little has changed. The red phone is gone, but Formats are
tighter than ever. Voice tracking has become the norm, especially in
medium and small markets. Stations nationwide have consolidated and gone
through a multitude of format changes. Programmers are still making dumb
decisions … case in point … WJMK-FM, Chicago. They recently
dismissed Richard Cantu, the ONLY newsman at the station. I guess this
oldies station in our nations THIRD market decided it didn't need to keep
their audience informed, even during a time of war.
There are, however, Radio Stations that have stood
their ground and remained dominant (usually Number One) during all these years
of turmoil and change. WGN, Chicago. KGO, San Francisco. WBZ,
Boston. WCCO, Minneapolis. KMOX, St Louis. WTMJ, Milwaukee.
They each have an audience count and a bottom line the others drool about.
Ever wonder why? Consistency. Believability. Cultivating the
audience for generations. Remaining an integral part of their community.
Stability.
Words rarely revered in the average modern day
programming philosophy.
Art Roberts
IMPORTANT NOTICE: The Box Number for Art
Roberts Communications (PO Box 3047) has expired. Please correspond by
E-Mail at Art@Artroberts.com
Books and CD's SHOULD BE ORDERED THROUGH PAY PAL.
Thanks, Art
RUMOR -- FOREIGN BUCKS TO BOMBARD BROADCASTING:
The economy stinks. Radio companies are leveraged beyond reason.
Banks won't foreclose, but very well might charge heavy penalties to allow
these groups to continue in business. Look for the muscle conglomerates
(Clear Channel, et al) to push for foreign investments to be allowed in both
Radio and TV by the first quarter of 2002, arguing that US companies already
own stations in other countries. Sounds insane? Time will tell.
SATELLITE RADIO ... GOOD IDEA / BAD TIMING: Let's
review the scorecard ... XM Satellite Radio is offering service of about 100
channels to the Southwest and Southeast USA, with coverage from Los Angeles to
Miami. The rest of the country will be able to subscribe in November.
Their competition, Sirius Satellite Radio has yet to announce a target date,
although "sometime in January" was mentioned. Also, Sirius
founder and CEO stepped down after investors in Vermont sued the company for
misleading them about when the company would be open for business.
Cost to the consumer ... Sirius plans on charging
$12.95 a month. XM charges $9.99. Special radios cost between $300
- 400.
Bad timing ... Our economy is not the greatest for
a start-up company, especially two traveling in the same direction. And
the threat of further terrorism doesn't help their situation. Merrill
Lynch predicts XM should do 70% of the initial subscribers next year.
Cash Crunch ... Does either company have the
staying power? XM has just landed 66 million, which gives them a
little more breathing room, while Sirius claims to have enough funds to carry
them into the fourth quarter of next year. The biggest stumbling block is
"the break even point", which has been predicted for the year 2005.
That leaves both companies with a long road to hoe and a short time to get
there.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "The object of war isn't
to die for your country. It is to make sure the other guy dies for
his." GENERAL GEORGE PATTON
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: AGGIE JOKES:
CIRCA 2001
A platoon of Special Forces soldiers are now
involved in reprisal actions after last month's incidents in New York,
Washington & Pennsylvania. The heroic force, comprised of A&M corps
graduates, have broken into the dog kennel area of the A&M Veterinary
Science Building and captured all the Afghans. They reported light
casualties.
It is being reported that the Texas Aggie Corp of
Cadets has surrounded a department store in College Station, Texas. They
are acting on a tip that Bed Linen is on the floor.
MY PAL PERRY ON "HALLOWEEN": TOP TEN
SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING!
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for
you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you
lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards
mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick
or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of
restraining orders.
3.You have to carefully choose a costume that
won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the
neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives
live.
"WE AINT JUST WHISTLIN' DIXIE" Radio
Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh and Factual Radio Info ... AND MORE
... EVERYDAY ... www.radiodailynews.com
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
10-06-01
TIME TO END ALL THE GOBBLYGOOK: “The President has urged us to return to
normal. We have. Church attendance was down last Sunday.” … Bobbi Roberts
Radio is an opportunistic business. The audience is rather unconcerned about issues that confront a
station on a day-to-day basis – until a crisis comes along that affects their lives. The September 11th
attack on the World Trade Center in New York City has become a platform for change. Laws will
change. People will change. Radio has an OPPORTUNITY for change.
At the tail end of the ‘60s our Country became very concerned with pollution. Gene Taylor, station
manager at WLS, RECOGNIZED this as an opportunity to reach out and touch the audience during
their time of concern. He produced a book that explained what pollution was, what the average
American could do to change the conditions that existed, and distributed tens of thousands of these
books to interested listeners. The station aired editorials on the subject. My morning show made
“The Pollution Problem” its focus. Some very interesting things occurred. The ratings soared. Earth
Day was born, and I was asked to host a rally in front of City Hall on the first Earth Day celebration.
10,000 people showed up by the Picasso sculpture. So did local and national politicians, and the
world press. Not bad for a Rock n’ Roll radio station.
The WTC incident is another opportunity for Radio to reach out and touch their audience.
Patriotism throughout our land has never been higher. Nor has a President’s acceptance ratings.
Our world is changing and people are scared. They are looking for words – words to hang on to,
believe in, and talk about. Yes, Virginia, there is a life after cue cards.
This IS the precious moment in time to offer your market a platform for change and comfort.
Become involved with civic groups, church groups, the police, fire department, city officials and your
audience. What you have to say IS important. Your Radio station IS important. Don’t blow it.
… Art Roberts
KEN LEVINE’S KOMMENTARY: “Let's see if Casey Kasem mentions any of these on his
next countdown show ... 1975, Booker T. and The MG’s drummer and great Stax session man Al
Jackson is shot to death in his Memphis home, allegedly by an intruder ... his wife is questioned
because she had been arrested a couple of months earlier for shooting Jackson in the chest ... also
this week in 1975, Elton John collapses onstage at the Universal Amphitheatre in L.A. moments after
launching into his "Better Off Dead" ... following a ten-minute break, he returns to the stage to finish
up his three-hour concert ... 1976, Jerry Lee Lewis is charged with firing a gun within city limits after
plugging his bass player Norman Owens twice in the chest with a .357 magnum...the irrepressible
Jerry Lee is said to have been taking pot shots at a soda bottle in his office ... following a bomb scare
during a Milwaukee performance this week in 1975, Bruce Springsteen returns to his hotel to await a
midnight restart of the show ... stopping in at the hotel's bar, the usually conservative star gets, in his
own words, "a little loose," and proceeds to deliver an over-the-top performance in the bar ... on the
way back to the hall Springsteen rides on the roof of the car ... a Brit journalist along for the ride later
writes, "I have seen the future of rock & roll, and he is on my windshield."... Ken
IF BANDSTAND IS 50, HOW OLD IS DICK CLARK? American Bandstand is almost 50
years old. Sometime next spring ABC will celebrate the 50th anniversary of "American Bandstand"
with a two-hour prime-time special, hosted by “The Man” himself. The dance show started in 1952
at WFIL-TV in Philadelphia, Pa. Dick became the smiling host of American Bandstand in
1956. By 1957 it was the most watched show on television – coast-to-coast. The last
show aired in 1989.
Dick Clark is 71 and remains “America’s oldest teenager.”
AN EASY WAY TO FEED THE HUNGRY: “Dear friends ... countries will forever
change leaders, borders and ideologies, but hunger is a constant. It's the innocent who
always pay the price. Some of us have seen this up close and personal in the course of
our own military service. Others of you witness it from various news sources almost daily
now, so you know what I mean. The need here has probably never been greater. This
site allows us to, even in a small way, make some difference. It's something we can each
do daily. Please bookmark it and use it when you can. When you click on the donation
button, your donation is logged and all costs are covered by the sponsors listed. I don't
think they could have made it any easier. We've all been blessed with so much. Please
take the extra moment each day to help.” Thanks, PAUL KIRBY
http://www.thehungersite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites
HEY, WE USED TO LIVE THERE! Here is a virtual tour-of-sorts of the “old” neighborhood.
Larry Shannon will be your tour guide.
http://www.wlshistory.com/new/essay.htm
KEVIN MCCARTHY WONDERS? Two men, both billionaires: One develops relatively
cheap software and gives hundreds of millions of dollars to charity.
The other sponsors terrorism and kills thousands of people.
That being the case, why is it that the U.S. Government has spent more money chasing down Bill
Gates over the past ten years than Osama bin Laden?
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING:
Q: What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles?
A: Reload and continue shooting.
MY PAL PERRY SEZ “NORTHERNERS MIGHT BE BLUENECKS”: By now, I'm
sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Here are some takes on how Southern
folks look at their Northern cousins:
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:
1. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
2. You don't know what a moon pie is.
3. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
4. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep
school in Connecticut.
5. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
6. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
7. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and
stopping.
8. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
9. You don't know what "biscuits'n'maters" are and are afraid to ask.
10. You think 'dip' is made with artichokes and spinach.
"COMPREHENSIVE, COHESIVE, AND COMIN’ ATCHA!" Radio Daily News --
Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio Info ... AND MORE ... EVERYDAY ...
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Movie and TV trivia about the stars of Hollywood. Movie
and TV buffs are going to bookmark this one …
http://home.texoma.net/~wfb45/
That's it for this week. Art Roberts
09/30/2001
“WHERE
DO I GO FROM HERE?” Good
shadows at a Radio station always walk in front while sinister evil shadows lurk
from behind. Keep your eyes on the
wall in the hall.
Broadcasting,
as an industry, has always maintained a back seat when compared to corporate
giants like GE, HP, IBM, etc., where middle management are trained to lead their
division in a common direction. Not
so in radio. It seems this industry
rewards ineptness and promotes schemers. Some
of the worst mid-management I experienced hid behind their titles of “program
director,” “sales manager,”
“regional director,” or “consultant.”
Under their tenure, Number One stations slipped to number 10 –
sometimes in a mere 30 days. Top
talent had the rug jerked out from under them for no other reason than the
changing winds of new leadership. Sales
departments deflated because of favoritism, even nepotism. The “energy” that
once spewed out of speakers became bland and boring.
Worse case scenario: thanks
to a consultant’s “misfit” guidance, a radio station in Florida lost their
FCC license. Guess what?
He’s still with us … bigger-’n-ever.
Envy the
Radio Professionals who accept the status quo and neither question nor argue.
Their comfort zone is playing out whatever hand they are dealt until the
game is over. Are they loyal, or
pawns?
Envy the new
era Radio Professionals who play the game with skill and determination.
They develop a corporate mentality that justifies every action; every
format change; every consolidation – under the guise of “For The Benefit Of
The Group” -- dismissing lives their decisions affect as “part of everyday
business.”
Good soldiers
all.
How about the
rest of the troops? The Thinkers.
Entertainers. Innovators.
The individual, who wakes up one morning, looks in the mirror and asks,
“Where do I go from here?” You
would be surprised.
Stay in the
kitchen long enough just peeling potatoes; never see YOU as head chef.
Or, as I said in my book -- Thinkin’ Out Loud, “Do only one thing in
your life and you will become an expert, but remain a hermit.”
In fact, it would be a good idea to re-read the chapter “Leaving
Radio.” (Page 92) There is a list
of attributes radio people develop which are of great value to other industries
in the marketplace.
Reach up my
friends. Always reach up.
Art
Roberts
GLOBAL
GROWIN'S: Fans of
American Radio in 23 Countries clicked on to Art Roberts.com in the month of
September. Canada was number one,
edging out Germany by just 4 clicks. Taiwan
was third, followed by Netherlands, Brazil, Old Style Arpanet, Japan, Sweden,
Belgium and France. The next ten
countries are United Kingdom, Philippines, Australia, Saudi Arabia, Argentina,
Mexico, Norway, Singapore, Ireland and Spain.
They were followed by Austria, Hong Kong, and Romania.
MARVELOUS
MARVIN: Okay, you are WLS,
the well-loved Chicago Radio icon. Your
9 to 11 AM host, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, has worn out her welcome with her worn
out advice. Jay Marvin to the
rescue! Jay and Eileen Byrne are
doing “live local talk” from 9 – 11 AM.
Then Jay breaks for lunch. Does
a little shopping. Maybe takes in a
ballgame. Comes back to the station
at 6 PM and does his highly rated show. Marvelous!
RADIO
SNOOZE NEWS: Where the
Hell did radio news go? Music
intensive formats offer no news at all. We
can thank the FCC who dropped content requirements back in the 1970s.
Most large markets now have only a couple of All News or News/Talk
stations with fully staffed newsrooms and reporters on the street.
Many medium and smaller markets have not a single station with a real
news operation. And those that do,
use “news voices” often times shared with other stations in the market.
Reasons vary from: “News is a tune-out,” to “Newsrooms are a drain
on the station. Can’t sell
newscasts anymore.” Bullcorn.
Actually, news is a great profit center, and those who treat it as such
are reaping the rewards.
During the
WTC attack many radio stations who had no news facilities chose to broadcast TV
coverage to provide their listeners with what they craved most – INFORMATION.
How sad. Today’s Radio
views news information as “Traffic reports” and “Weather reports.”
I spent many
years as a Rock Jock and had the privilege of working with some of the nations
great newscasters. Never thought of
them as a tune-out. They were an
important part of a show that informed as well as entertained.
Among them were Mort Krim; Lyle Dean;
Bruce Brown; Chuck Scott; Jeff Hendricks; Stan Dale and Jerry Mitchell.
When they
spoke – America listened.
HUNTING
FOR THE RIGHT ROOFTOP: Nine
New York TV stations lost their transmission facilities on Tower 1 of the World
Trade Center. They are back on the
air. But, with the exception
of WCBS-TV, they were making do with less power and less over-the-air coverage.
WCBS-TV was
in the best shape. They switched to a backup transmitter at the Empire State
Building and have maintained continual service on channel 2.
Fox's WNYW-TV and WWOR-TV are also broadcasting from the Empire State
Building, using space that had been set aside for their planned digital TV
stations.
The others
have to settle for sharing a tower in Alpine, New Jersey, which does not cover
the entire New York market. The
good news is cable subscribers had little or no interruption of service, but
there is still about 25% of the public that do not have cable.
And residents around “ground zero” are still without service.
There
aren’t many rooftops that offer a clear line of sight in Manhattan.
Great opportunity for New York radio stations.
OLD RADIO
PROS ARE TAILOR MADE FOR CONVENTIONS:
My dear compadre Perry Allen will be on a Don Barrett panel at the L.A.
Museum of Radio and TV on October 20th. Casey
Kasem, Wink Martindale and Gary Owens will also join the distinguished group.
SCAMBUSTERS
ALERT: Someone is sending
out a very cute screensaver, so I’m told, of the Budweiser Frogs.
If you download it, you will lose everything!
Your hard drive will crash and someone from the Internet will get your
screen name and password! DO NOT
DOWNLOAD IT UNDER ANY
CIRCUMSTANCES! It recently went
into circulation.
Then there is
the Vote worm. It arrives as an
e-mail asking for peace between America and Islam, and asks you to Vote for
peace. Open it and “Pop goes the
weasel and your hard drive.”
BODDA BOOM
BODDA BING: Things that
make you go Hmmm....
"A
turtle without a shell: Is he naked
or homeless?"
TONGUE
TWISTER OF THE DAY FROM MY PAL PERRY:
(You know the drill ... say this three times fast,)
"I'm not a pheasant plucker I'm a pheasant plucker's son I'm only
plucking pheasants Till a pheasant plucker comes."
"RDN
IS THE THINKING PERSON'S RADIO REPORT!"
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio Info ... AND MORE
... EVERYDAY ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK: Wanted Dead or
Alive … Circa 2001.
http://www.fbi.gov/mostwant/topten/fugitives/laden.htm
That's it
for this week. ART
ROBERTS
09/23/2001
R&I
"…ON BEING 70"
That's some number!
"70." "Seventy." (It looks worse spelt out.)
There sure has been a lot of water
under this bridge. A lot of horse manure in the barn. A lot of
crumbs in the cake dish … but the icing has been licked clean …
Started out life in the lower East
Side of Manhattan. Headed south after high school. Bobbi and I got
married in our last year at Southeastern Louisiana University. You don't
miss much when you've not had much.
"On Monday we had bread and
gravy,
On Tuesday we had gravy and bread,
On Wednesday we had bread, no gravy,
On Thursday we had gravy instead."
And we learned to disguise
hamburger 38 different ways.
Never really learned to love radio
'til the second day at KALT, Atlanta, Texas. After my first 12-hour day
I realized we were at the right place at the right time. Bill Bentley
was my first program director. Often wondered what ever happened to him.
Got my formal education at KTBB, Tyler. Made my bones at KLIF, in
Dallas.
Watched radio spread it's Top 40
wings, only to crash and burn at Segue City, the home of acappella jingles.
Watched, as tight pants pot smoking PD's came up with rules and research that
smothered creativity. Watched, as control rooms became computer screens.
Watched, as Radio Stations became property for a privileged few.
Would I do it again? You betcha,
Bubba. And I wouldn't change a thing. Now you'll have to excuse
me, I have a birthday to celebrate.
Art Roberts
September 23
RADIO / TV / NEWSPAPERS ... THE INFORMATION TRILOGY: Hard
news made easy. Yes, the sharks are still swimming in Florida waters
(Why not? They live there.) Gary Condit still hides in the shadows of
denial, and the spinmeisters spin in silence. Their newsworthy existence
ended at 8:48 AM Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001, and America's News
Trilogy -- Radio, Television, and Print -- remembered their heritage as they
reported the unfolding events in unison, through voice, pictures and print --
void of opinions and prejudice.
In the days that followed our
nation stayed glued to their TV's, commuters read local papers as trains and
busses headed towards their terminals, drivers turned their car radios up as
they wove through the AM rush hour. The news was real and riveting,
leaving no room for scandals and smut. Media had a single purpose.
Hold that thought.
CCC SEZ NO NO NO TO 150 AOR, CLASSIC ROCK. AND OLDIES HITS:
Too much POWER in the hands of too few. That's the landscape of today's
radio. The newest "cultural hit" the listening public is being
subjected to is the alleged 150 musical omissions on the Clear Channel
playlists, which are deemed "Inappropriate" for airplay on CCC
stations due to the attack on The World Trade Center. Programmers
and Jocks at some of the 1,100 stations, including Z100 and Q104.3 in New
York, ignored the list and played the songs anyway. Among such
groups are Drowning Pool, Saliva, Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Godsmack,
Soundgarden, AC/DC, and Black Sabbath.
Also included are some Classic
Standards which have been axed for the same reason -- "questionable
lyrics." These include Led Zeppelin "Stairway to
Heaven"; The Beatles "Ticket To Ride" ; Drifters "On
Broadway"; Shelly Fabares "Johnny Angel" ; Elton John
"Benny & The Jets"; Elton John "Daniel"; Elton John
"Rocket Man"; Jerry Lee Lewis "Great Balls of Fire"; Louis
Armstrong "What A Wonderful World"; Peter Paul and Mary "Blowin'
in the Wind"; Martha and the Vandellas "Dancing in the
Streets"; Hollies "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother"; Simon And
Garfunkel "Bridge Over Troubled Water"; Petula Clark "A
Sign of the Times"; Don McLean "American Pie"; Buddy
Holly and the Crickets "That'll Be the Day"; John Lennon
"Imagine"; Bobby Darin "Mack the Knife"; Surfaris
"Wipeout"; Blood Sweat and Tears "And When I Die"; Frank
Sinatra "New York, New York" ; Neil Diamond "America"'
etc. etc. -- -- I think we get the idea.
At CC's Q104.3, some of the tunes
- like "New York, New York," "Imagine," and "Stairway
to Heaven" - have been the most requested tunes of the week. Clear
Channel suits say the list was never meant to reflect censorship.
Must've been an after-thought (or
afterburn), but on Tuesday Clear Channel released the following statement:
“Clear Channel Radio has not banned any songs from any of its radio
stations. Clear Channel believes that radio is a local medium. It
is up to every radio station program director and general manager to
understand their market, listen to their listeners and guide their station’s
music selections according to local sensitivities. Each program director
and general manager must take the pulse of his or her market to determine if
play lists should be altered, and if so, for how long."
Yeah, and what's-his-name never
had sex with what's-her-face.
XM SATELLITE RADIO BACK ON TRACK: XM will kick
off Satellite radio service September 25th. The "repeater
problem" (XM needs a series of repeaters to reach all potential
listeners) is settled until March 18, 2002 when the new FCC rules should be in
place. XM had originally scheduled its launch for Sept. 12, but
postponed it following the tragic events of last Tuesday in New York and
Washington, where the company is based.
POLITICALLY "TOO" INCORRECT: FedEx
pulled it's advertising from the TV show "Politically Incorrect."
So did Sears. What did Bill say that got their dander up? Well,
referring to President Bush calling the terrorist attack on the WTC "the
acts of cowards", Bill Maher said: "We have been the cowards lobbing
cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away, that's cowardly. Staying in the
airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not
cowardly."
Ooh Wee Doggies! I think HE
just done HIT the fan.
BODDA BOOM BODDA BING: Do you know how to get an
elephant out of the theater????? You can't. It's in his
blood.
MY PAL PERRY SEZ E-MAIL IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) E-mails last as long as you
want them to.
2) You can e-mail a complete
stranger without getting arrested.
3) You can e-mail people in public
without getting funny looks.
4) People who e-mail a lot of
different people in a short time don't get called horrid names.
5) Nobody makes any big thing of
the first time you e-mail somebody.
6) E-mail can't get you pregnant.
7) Or give you nasty diseases.
8) You can e-mail somebody at any
time of the month.
9) After you've used a computer to
e-mail, it won't hassle you for coffee.
10) If somebody interrupts you
while you're e-mailing, you feel neither embarrassed nor frustrated.
"WHO KNOWS THE WEED OF CRIME THAT LURKS IN THE NATION'S STATIONS
- RDN DO!" Radio Daily News --
Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info everyday ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Thank you Chuck Dunaway for
sharing this site with us. This is by far one of the most moving sites
there could be. I urge you to go there and scroll through. Have
patience -- it might take a while to load.
That's it for this week. ART
ROBERTS
R&I
OLDIES: THE
"VEGAN" OF BROADCASTING:
My granddaughter told me she is a Vegan. "Is that like a
vegetarian?" I asked. "Not really," she answered,
"a Vegan's diet is far stricter than a vegetarian's diet -- we
never eat cheese, drink milk, or eat anything that was ever associated
with an animal. We never even use paper napkins."
Wow, talk about a limited menu! That is when this analogy popped
into my head ... "Today's Oldies Format is the Vegan of
radio." The audience is not being hurt by the concept; they
are being undernourished by the restrictive, repetitive diet.
I love oldies -- they
reflect the excitement of yesterday. But today's oldies radio
stations completely miss the mark, and frankly, lost me years ago.
I'm sure I am not the only one who feels this way. What created
a lasting quality for yesterday's rock-and-roll music was the variety
it offered. Music played without prejudice. Boston, New
York, Philadelphia, Detroit, Chicago, Omaha, Dallas, San Francisco,
Los Angeles, and all points in between played local and regional hits
along with the national blockbusters of the day. Homogenized
oldies formats rarely reflect the regional hits of yesterday, and
insist on playing a limited list of past artists whose existence
depends upon 'someone's' interpretation of an ongoing cop-out known as
research. I have walked down the road of focus groups and
callout research - the information gathered is merely a guide, which
is unfortunately accepted as gospel and used as a crutch by
incompetent programmers. They are Bullshit.
Three years ago I was a
guest on the Dick Biondi show (WJMK, Chicago) as he did a remote from
Reno, NV during the Hot August Nights celebration. Little
Anthony and the Imperials were also guests on his program. A
listener called with a request for one of Little Anthony's hits.
Dick had to apologize to the listener, as the requested song was not
on the playlist. How embarrassing. There was Little
Anthony sitting at our side, and the top Oldies station in Chicago
didn't have one of his biggest hits in their library. That's
only the half of it. The format called for so many commercials
and promos, plus songs in a row, there was little room for Dicks
interview. That is where the Oldies Format lost me.
If "Vegan"
remains the anemic model for today's oldies format, "Grazing In
The Grass" is their Theme song.
Art Roberts
SCAM BUSTERS
ANONYMOUS:
Warning ... DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809! Don't respond to
Emails, phone calls, or web pages which tell you to call an
"809" Phone Number. It could cost
"megabucks." Thanks to Dale S. and Vorizon for blowing
the whistle on this scam. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS -- You will
receive a message on your answering machine or your pager, which asks
you to call a number beginning with area code 809. The
reason you're asked to call varies. It can be to receive
information about a family member who has been ill, to tell you
someone has been arrested, died, to let you know you have won a
wonderful prize, etc. In each case, you are told to call
the 809 number right away. Don't. If you call from
the U.S., you will be charged more than $2000 a minute.
The 809 area code is
located in the British Virgin Islands (The Bahamas) and can be used as
a pay-per-call \ line number, similar to 900 numbers in the U.S.
Since 809 is not in the U.S., it is not covered by U.S. regulations of
900 numbers, which require that you be notified and warned of charges
and rates involved when you call a "pay-per-call" number.
Things are about to get worse, because that infamous off-shore area
code (809) is in the process of breaking up into smaller chunks, and
you'll soon have to think twice about calling any of the following
area codes: 242, 246, 264, 268, 284, 345, 441, 473, 664, 758,
767, 784, 787, 868, 869, 876 as well as 809.
ANOTHER GEM FROM BOB SHANNON DUE IN R&R:
Bob Shannon is working on an in-depth article about Top 40 / CHR
radio, which will feature commentaries by Les Garland, Ron
Jacobs, John Rook, Sonny Melendrez, Art Roberts, Tom Rounds, Larry
Daniels, and Chuck Dunaway. The piece will appear as part of the
CHR supplement in the 9/21 issue of R&R.
WE LOST
ANOTHER FRIEND:
Justin Wilson left us with a legacy of Cajun Recipes and Cajun humor.
"Dis lil' ole cajun was driving down de street goin de wrong way.
He already done hit tree-four cars and he come to stop after crashin'
tru a glass sto' window. A po-liceman come up to him an' say:
"What are you - drunk or someting?" The lil' ole man
say:"You damn right. What do you tink, I'm one of dem
rackless drivers?" Justin Wilson died in Baton Rouge
Wednesday, September 5th. He was 87. There will never be
another. "I garontee!"
HELLOOOOOOOO
XM RADIO: XM
Satellite Radio is kicking off the first satellite radio service in
the United Sates in San Diego and Dallas/Ft. Worth on September 12,
2001. In mid-October they should cover the entire Southwest, and
blanket the entire country in November.
I checked for availability
in my area -- Reno was the closest. Even though XM satellite
radio service is a couple of months down the road in this part of the
country, Alpine; Pioneer; and Sony equipment was available at
Good Guys, Sears, Circuit City and Best Buy. I know what I
want for Christmas!!
LUCRATIVE
FREELANCE LOSES GROUND:
Earning your living as a freelance announcer has its pitfalls and
speed bumps which is usually based on the economy. During an
economic downturn, advertising budgets take a hit. In the
first six months of 2001 advertising spending fell by 5.9 percent.
Doesn't sound like much until you find out that computes to almost $3
billion.
Hit the hardest are the
big guys -- national television and national and network radio.
Times are getting tedious for everyone.
FROM A BEAR NAMED
HAL:
If I was a bear I'd have a
lair
All the old 'LS jocks would be there
And they would be back on the air
If I was a bear
If I was a bear I'd like to share
Some time with John, Art and even 'Ole Lar
We'd remember how it was once there
If I was a bear
If I was a bear I'd want the big guys to care
About what's happening on the air
And how it's not getting better there
If I was a bear
If I was a bear, I'd eat more than my share
And wander around everywhere
I'd even listen to old Sonny & Cher
If I was a bear
If I was a bear I'd sniff the air
I'd be square, but I wouldn't care
Art and I would go on a tear
If I was a bear
Hal Widsten
BODDA BOOM
BODDA BING:
This should be especially meaningful to those who work in research...
When NASA first started
sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens
would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA
scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes
in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface
including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to
over 300 degrees Centigrade.
The Russians used a
pencil.
MY PAL PERRY REMEMBERS WHAT HIS MAMA TAUGHT HIM:
My mother taught me TO
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just
finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me
RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me about
the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about
STAMINA -
"You'll sit there til all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about
WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE
CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about
ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
"RDN --
"CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS??"
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info
everyday ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK:
"Cheesecake in Paradise." The recipe for EVERY
Cheesecake you ever dreamed of ... and then some. Wipe your
chin.
NO WAY TO KEEP A
GOOD COMMUNICATOR DOWN:
In this age of repetitious ramblings plagued by cue cards and
voiceovers, framed in stereotyped formats, one would think a true
communicator could not exist in such an environment. 'Taint so.
Thanks to the mobility of
our three-quarter ton van, Bobbi and I have been able to massage the
countryside of Nevada and California this summer, listening to our
Clarion radio feed some pretty good sounding sounds through its six
speaker system. At the end of a seven-song set a mellow voice
came through loud and clear demanding attention … "Shut
up, I am communicating with you." God, it has been so long,
I didn't know how to react. There is one of THEM left.
That is when I realized -- "If there is ONE, there must be
OTHERS."
The search was on.
We traveled Interstates and back roads in hopes of locating members of
what is believed to be a lost society. I'm happy to report all
is not doom and gloom. We found a multitude. Even if the
voice was reading a prepared statement on a mustard stained cue card,
the message sounded as if it were for us alone. So, I have come
to the following conclusion, "Once a communicator --always!"
The art of communication
is not a mystery. Picture a person sitting in front of you.
That is your audience. Communication is reaching one person at a
time, whether you are delivering a mission statement or merely the
call letters. Present music in the same manner, so that every
listener believes you are playing "this song" just for him
or her.
Revive the missing
ingredient in today's Radio. Make them see pictures.
Art Roberts
THREE MORE GLOBAL
ENTRIES IN AUGUST:
Have been added to the 19 Countries reported last week.
Thailand, Sweden, and San Marino. I think this is a
record.
SALES REMAIN THE
ENGINE OF BROADCASTING:
Can a radio station ever hire TOO MANY salespeople? Clear
Channel is about to find out as they plan to add 500 sales people by
October. CC is not the only group planning on beefing up their
sales department. Emmis plans to expand their sales force with
50 new faces. Cox Radio has increased its sales staff by 50
percent over last three years. Infinity Broadcasting has always
believed that an inflated sales group earns more dollars. Their
outlook is that radio salespeople pay for themselves.
Crowded salesrooms tend to
create an "Only the strong survive" environment.
Account executives will have to work harder and smarter pounding the
proverbial pavement. Predictions point to a tight advertising
climate. It won't be easy making the numbers.
BOURBON STREET,
BEALE STREET, AND THE NAB:
Mix in a Hurricane glass and you have the makings of a great radio
convention. The highlight of this year's meeting will be the
Legends Session which will be held Friday at 10 in the morning.
Michael O'Shea will moderate, and you'll get a chance to absorb the
wisdom brought forth by Ken Dowe, Chuck Blore, Bobby Rich, and Gary
Stevens. Wish I was there.
BEFORE I FORGET:
Time to
fire up the grill and cook what ever you like best -- hotdogs,
bratwurst, chicken, steaks, or one of those humongous mushrooms --
pop-a-top and have a great Labor Day!
BODDA BOOM BODDA
BING:
I WISH I WAS A BEAR . . .
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep
for six months. I could do that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I
could do that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. And no one
tells the cops.
Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up.
He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wish I was a bear.
REFLECTIONS ON A
MEAN MANAGER FROM MY PAL PERRY:
1. If you kicked him
in the heart, you'd break your toe.
2. He'd steal a dead
fly from a blind spider.
3. The only thing he'll
share with you willingly is a communicable disease.
4. He folds his
newspaper so the guy next to him on the bus can only read half the
headline.
5. He has a
testimonial plaque from Kenneth Starr.
6. He knifes you in
the back, and then has you arrested for carrying a weapon.
7. He told his
children the Easter Bunny got run over by a car.
8. He never hits a
man when he's down--he kicks him.
9. He'd borrow your
pot just to cook your goose.
10 . He had three phones
installed so that he could hang up on more people.
RDN -- "REAL
DIVA NEWS"
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info
everyday ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE
WEEK:
There is a new website devoted to the 50's, 60's and 70's. This
is a web site in progress and will continue to grow.
Art
Roberts
08/26/2001
LIFE IS JUST A
POLL OF CHERRIES:
Eastlan Resources released a report that showed that 80 percent of
Americans have little interest in satellite radio. The study was
taken from March the 22nd through May the 16th of this year.
Eastlan talked to 4851 people, 12 years old and older. They
learned a bunch of stuff -- for instance, men are more interested in
satellite radio than women (by ratio of 20 1/2 percent to 19.1
percent). The research company plans to release additional
information that will tabulate household and specific demographic
breakouts.
Isn't that interesting?
Hey Ho, I have a question -- How do you study something that is not
here? (XM Satellite Radio service doesn't start until September
12.) So, I conducted a poll of my own, asking 5283 adults
eighteen and over their opinion of first-class space travel.
Their answers will astound you ...
- 38 percent felt,
"They could have given more legroom."
- 62 percent said the
price of first-class was not worth three times the price of coach.
- When asked about food,
72 percent said: "Food? You call that food?"
- 17 percent complained
about the serving of Gallo wine from a gallon jug.
AND -- 93 percent of the
passengers polled displayed real rage when commenting about,
"Those same damned small bathrooms."
Well, it makes has much sense as taking the satellite radio poll.
Anyhow, I went to my trustee Dell magic machine and entered Eastlan's
e-mail address in the wowzer browser. It clicked and clacked and
delivered this answer:
"eastlan.com is under construction. Thank you for your
patience."
FIGURES.
Art Roberts
GLOBAL GROWIN'S:
19
countries clicked on to Art Roberts.com in the month of August.
Once again Canada led the pack, followed by Germany, Australia, United
Kingdom, Belgium, South Africa, France, Switzerland, Taiwan, and
Yugoslavia. The next nine were Japan, Netherlands, United Arab
Emerates, Argentina, Denmark, Spain, Finland, Greece, and Italy.
Thank you for your interest in American Radio.
MANO Y MANO ...
THE RULES HAVE CHANGED:
Another fracas was brewing. This one involved WWZZ (Z104) in
Washington and Clear Channel Communications, who owns eight radio
stations in the same city. Their station manager, Mark O'Brien,
decided to give away $3000 worth of tickets (bought and paid for with
his credit card) and airfare to one of the biggest concerts of the
year. 30 Lucky Listeners would enjoy "The Wango Tango"
concert at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles. They started promoting
it in the middle of May, and a day and a half into the promotion Mark
got a phone call from a lawyer in California informing him that a fax
was sent to the station stating that Z104 had to stop the promotion.
CCC not only has control of 1200 radio stations, they also own what
was SFX Entertainment, the company that books shows all across the
country, plus 135 concert venues. The name "Wango
Tango" is also theirs. No one is allowed to promote the
show without permission. Clear Channel's Hot 99.5, which had
debuted only weeks earlier, got the sole Washington rights to
promote the L.A. show, even though Z104 had the idea first.
Is this legal? You
can bet your sweet bippie it is! As long as the FCC keeps "Slippin'
and Slidin', Peepin, and Hidin' in Washington" the situation
isn't going to improve.
My question is -- Where
are today's "Piss and vinegar" programmers? The breed
that went after a market with bare knuckles and took on All Comers.
You could play in their playground but don't tell them they could not
grow roses in their own backyard.
The "Piss and vinegar
programmers" who staged ticket swaps at a rival's concert,
trading balcony tickets for seats up front. Free concerts for
their loyal listeners. Public service promotions that endeared
them to the community.
How do you handle a Mega
pain in the ass? Don't cower. Conquer. Own the
market. Be first with everything. It drives them crazy.
XM AND SIRIUS SING
THE REPEATER BLUES:
The two satellite radio companies, XM and Sirius, have run into a
speed bump -- the NAB. Their president, Señor Eddie Fritz, has
complained to the FCC that both companies intend to use repeaters
across the country to spread their signal.
It seems repeaters have
always been a debatable area in broadcasting. Getting the signal
to the other side of a building, or a hill, or a mountain, somehow
finds a human standing in the way of progress.
That's what lawyers are
for.
INTERESTED IN
OWNING YOUR OWN RADIO STATION?
There is a CP for sale in a very good Midwest area. Owner will
help you get started. E-mail Art@artroberts.com
for details.
THERE'S SOMETHIN'
ABOUT THEM OLD SONGS:
Eliot Stein gave us this first hand report. "Pat and I went
to the House of Blues last night on the Sunset Strip to see The
Monkees. They played two nights to packed houses--probably about
1000 people each night. It is Davy, Peter and Mickey (no Mike).
The crowd was going WILD. My visual estimation was that 60% of
the crowd were in their 30s, 20% in their 20's and the remaining 20%
in their 40s and 50s...the only ones old enough to have "been
there." Davy Jones who turns 56 in December -- looks
incredible, steals the show -- has his complete voice and stage
presence as when he originated this in 1966. They are doing a
tour of venues with 500-3,000 capacity in the U.S. When they go
over to England next month, they must appear in 10-12,000 venues
because of incredible demand."
BODDA BOOM BODDA
BING: Rumor
has it that The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a nativity scene
in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious
reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men
and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
MY PAL PERRY FINDS
THE ULTIMATE ECONOMY AIRLINE:
~ They don't sell tickets,
they sell chances.
~ All the insurance
machines in the terminal are sold out.
~ Before the flight, the
passengers get together and elect a pilot.
~ You cannot board the
plane unless you have the exact change.
~ Before you took off, the
stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
~ The Captain asks all the
passengers to chip in a little for gas.
~ When they pull the steps
away, the plane starts rocking.
~ You ask the Captain how
often their planes crash, and he says, "Just once."
~ No movie. Don't need
one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
~ All the planes have both
a bathroom and a chapel.
"RDN SMOTHERS
THE WATERFRONT"
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info
everyday ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE
WEEK: Always
listen to your MOM. Pat Martin runs one of the best small market
radio stations in the country. He personifies my favorite
slogan, "BIG ONLY COUNTS IN SUMO WRESTLING."
WORDS of a
FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER:
Every city has a circle of people who criticize, scrutinize,
ostracize, oversize and undersize the way things are in favor of the
way things were or ought to be. Most of these individuals have
been tripping on their shoelaces throughout life, blaming their
unsteadiness on the rough sidewalk and buckled curbs beneath their
feet. Enough grumbling, the sky ain't falling. Neither is
Radio.
The Radio gospel preaches
to accentuate the positive and turn your back on the negative.
Think and rethink what IS -- forget about what could have been.
Not everyone in management has earned his or her stripes.
Decision-makers still make crappy decisions that affect others as they
drive down the road with the top down. In San Antonio,
Texas, last summer, Infinity bought KTSA and KTFM-FM from Bernie
Waterman for 56 mil. In the three months that followed that
transaction, Clear Channel pulled both Rush and Dr. Laura from KTSA to
put them on WOAI, which improved OAI to a 5.0, and dropped KTSA to a
3.5 where they remain. And, Hispanic Broadcasting upgraded Bubba
Redding's Pleasanton FM at 98.5 to a full 100kw, put on a hip hop
format and knocked KTFM from #1 to #5 in the market. In the most
recent book, 98.5 ("The Beat") is now #1 and KTFM is #8.
"On the babies Dimple or the babies knee, where will the babies
scapegoat be?" Who cares? Management has been playing
the "cause and effect" game for years.
Radio offers more career
choices today than ever before. It is an industry that has risen
to the ranks of BIG business. And deservedly so. How far
you travel depends solely on your ambition, vision, and focus. A
person can very well climb the corporate ladder and wind up leading a
division within a company. On-air talent can conquer market
after market, building a following that numbers in the millions.
As the numbers grow, so does their earning power. Sales managers
oversee a handful of radio stations, accepting responsibility for
their growth. And you can still make it on your own.
Independent entrepreneurs are still very much alive and well. I
have a friend who has been running a very successful 1 kw AM
Stand-alone station for the past seven years. Big signals
blanketing his market have never been a bother. He will always
cultivate his own backyard. Talent, if they chose to do so, may
still control THEIR destiny. Remember Eddy Hubbard? He is
coming back to Chicago this September...he and Denny Farrell are
receiving awards for keeping the Big Band sound alive for so many
years. http://www.autodefense.com/DennyFarrell.html
Billie Holiday said it
best:
"Mama may have,
Papa may have,
But God bless the child
That's got his own."
The secret for success in today's broadcast climate, no matter which
path you choose, is quite succinct - "If you don't GROW, you
GO!"
Art Roberts
KRIS ERIK
STEVENS: There
are a few "gottas" that are "givens" if you want
to score in the land of "voice over" giants. For one,
you've gotta have a "kick-ass website." You've gotta
have jaw-hanging demos that cover all the bases ... Radio and TV
Commercials, Infomercials, Radio and TV station imagery, Animation
voices, and anything else you can dream up to impress a stone-faced
director during a 22 second listen. You've gotta have patience.
You've gotta have talent. And you've gotta have a style.
WANT TO
BECOME A RADIO PROFESSIONAL?
Contact Columbia College in Chicago. They offer career choices
for TODAY'S radio model. The person to contact is Barbara
Calabrese, Chair, at bcalabrese@popmail.colum.edu
Direct phone number: 312-344-8162. College address is 33
East Congress, Suite 700, Chicago, IL 60605
Barbara will be out of
town until the 27th of August. In the meantime you can contact:
Marssie Mencotti mmencotti@popmail.colum.edu
or Hope Daniels hdaniels@popmail.colum.edu
or Cheryl Morton Langston clangston@popmail.colum.edu
Or call the Department office at 312-344-8156 to receive information
or to set up an appointment with Barbara when she gets back in
the office the week of the 27th. If interested, potential
students still have time to enroll for the Fall semester which doesn't
begin until late September. Contact the Admissions
Department at 312-344-7129 or 344-7130 to receive further information.
The Radio Department
offers a comprehensive major in Radio Broadcasting. Students can
choose to concentrate in either Talent/Production or Sales/Marketing.
All students are required to complete at least one semester at the
student-managed college radio station WCRX, 88.1 FM, where they can
obtain experience in on-air broadcasting for music, talk , sports or
news radio as well as work in technical production, marketing and
promotion, or as a radio producer. WCRX has state of the
art studio facilities including digital production. Beginning in
the fall, WCRX will be streamed on the internet. Other
programs include live play-by-play sports coverage, sports and news
talk programs, and radio drama. Students also have the option to
complete internships at major Chicago radio stations. The
faculty are radio professionals who work as on-air talent, production
directors, producers and sales and marketing executives.
JOHN ROOK
WROTE: "I
could not believe this could be approved by ANY commissioner....thank
God for one....gheez" .... NOW THE REST OF THE
STORY ...
FCC COMMISSIONER TRISTANI OPPOSES NEW DEALS. Recent license
approvals ignore FCC obligations: Washington - Special To Radio
Crow: Outgoing Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Commissioner
Gloria Tristani issued a statement Tuesday opposing the agency's
decision to approving four separate deals allowing one company 75%
control of the radio advertising market. In Erie, PA, Tristani said a
grant to allow two owners‚ control almost 95% of the advertising
revenue should "stun anyone concerned with maintaining a vibrant
marketplace of ideas." Tristani said the grants "ignore
Commission precedent and our obligations under the Communications
act."
MENTAL HEALTH EXCERCISE: When pressures
are many and pleasures are few, just click on here -- It will give you
something to do.
END OF THE WORLD
MEDIA REPORTS FROM MY PAL PERRY:
USA Today:
"We're Dead"
The Wall Street Journal:
"Dow Jones
Plummets As World Ends"
The National Enquirer:
"O.J. and
Nicole, Together Again"
Playboy:
"Girls of the
Apocalypse"
Microsoft Systems Journal:
"Apple Loses
Market Share"
The Victoria's Secret
Catalog:
"Our Final
Sale"
Sports Illustrated:
"Game Over"
Rolling Stone:
"The Grateful
Dead Reunion Tour"
Lady's Home Journal:
"Lose 10 Lbs. By
Judgment Day with Our New 'Armageddon' Diet!"
America Online:
"System
Temporarily Down. Try Calling Back in 15 Minutes."
RDN -- "HELLO MR. AND MS. AMERICA":
Let's go to Press ... Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon
delivers Fresh Radio info everyday ... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK:
Where were you in your last life? When was it? What did
you do and where did you live? Not even the Shadow knows ----
But R&I do!
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
SIGNS,
SIGNS, EVERYBODY NEEDS SIGNS:
Sometime in the mid to late '70s, a sign was hung in the halls of NCR,
Dayton, Ohio that read, "THINK." Legend has it that
product production increased because of that sign. I have always
believed that legends are like rumors -- 40 percent fact. So, I
had the same sign printed, and hung it in the control room. It
was unbelievable. Everybody began to sound better and perform
better. The Magic sign served as a catalyst to inspire on-air
personnel to THINK about what they were going to say when the record
was over; THINK about what was coming up; THINK about the commercial
they were about to read; and THINK about the music they were about to
play.
Years later John Rook
marched into the studio at WLS and hung up a sign that read:
"SMILE." A simple, familiar word changed the mood of
our radio station. It was a time of revamping the format, and we
all know what change does to the morale of a radio station. The
jocks sounded like someone stole their car and shot their dog.
Instead of the familiar WLS jingle, it would have been better to play,
"Dum Dum Dum De Dum Dum Dum" on a bassoon. Well, the
sign did it. Perked everybody up. As you listened to the
Big 89, you could see the jocks pearly white teeth. Damn, it
worked again.
Don't hear many people
smile on the radio anymore. Hear even fewer think. Radio
has become so predictable. We need some new signs for Today.
Let's start with Flick and Flack in the morning.
Flick says to Flack: "You're a schmuck."
Flack answers: "You're a schmuck."
Flick comes back with: "Oh yeah, you're a schmuck with a fat
ass."
So, Flack says: "Oh yeah, you're a schmuck with a fat ass."
And Flick says: "What's the matter, can't you say nothing
original?"
Holy Cow -- here comes the
guy with a ladder and a sign. He hammers a nail high on the wall
and hangs up a sign ... a sign for the morning ... "BITE YOUR
TONGUE."
Follow me to the manager's
office. There have been decisions made in this room that
affected the radio professional and fragmented the audience.
Non-stop music for one. What does that tell the listener?
We play a lot of music? Hell, no. (If we are playing 30
minutes of nonstop music, how come we keep stopping to tell the
audience that they are in the middle of 30 minutes of nonstop music?)
The real message here is that - "Commercials are a dirty
word." Get in the way of the music. Commercials
are a tune out. Instead of rebutting this theory, the spots are
lumped eight in a row and played without interruption. Non-stop
commercials. How brilliant. I thought Commercials paid
everyone's salary. Everyone. Must've been wrong.
Holy Cow, here comes that
little guy with a big ladder. A large crowd is gathering.
Geez, he's nailing the front door shut. Now he's climbing the
ladder, putting a nail in the center of the door and hanging a shiny
new sign ... a sign of the times .... "GREED."
Art Roberts
WE LOST
ANOTHER FRIEND: Lorenzo
Music passed away on Aug. 5th. Born in Brooklyn NY, he grew up
in Duluth Minnesota. Among his credits are writer/producer of
the Mary Tyler Moore show, the Bob Newhart show, and Rhoda. His
most famous performances came when he was selected as the voice of
Garfield the Cat. Lorenzo was 64. RIP.
CCC AND ARB
AGREE TO AGREE:
Clear Channel stations in 187 Arbitron-rated markets now under
contract as of 08/06/2001.
RADIO
LEGENDS TO SPEAK IN NEW AWLINZ:
The NAB Radio Show meeting in New Orleans will be September 5-7.
On Friday, Sept 7, you'll be able to participate in a talk session
with radio legends, Chuck Blore, Bobby Rich, Gary Stevens and Ken Dowe
... Michael O'Shea will moderate the panel. I want to thank
Michael O'Shea for inviting me to join the panel. Traveling long
distances is still a problem, and I had to decline. Too bad, I
was looking forward to a bowl of real gumbo and a plate of barbecued
shrimp.
XM RADIO ONE
MONTH AWAY:
September 12 is the target date. XM will promote themselves on
movie screens in 3000 theaters across the country. That adds up
to 19,000 screens -- Way To Go!
IRIS THE
VIRUS: I
have THREE reliable alerts to pass along.
*** If you receive an
email called "An Internet Flower For You," do not open
it. Delete it right away! This virus
removes all dynamic link libraries (.dll files) from your
computer. Your computer will not be able to boot up !!
***Another virus acts in the following manner:
It sends itself automatically to all contacts on your list
with the title "A Virtual Card for You." As soon
as the supposed virtual card is opened, the computer freezes so
that the user has to reboot. Rebooting zaps the hard disk.
***In recent weeks the
SirCam worm has been spreading like wildfire. The SirCam worm
replicates by sending copies of itself to everyone in the Windows
address book found on an infected machine, as well as sending itself
to any e-mail address stored in the Web browser cache of an infected
machine. It randomly selects a file from the hard drive of an
infected machine and sends the file. Opening the attached file
is enough to infect the system it's being opened on.
Somebody out there sure
has a SICK sense of humor.
UNIQUE THOUGHTS
FROM MY PAL PERRY:
How Do You Catch A
Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
How Do You Catch A
Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
What Do Fish Say
When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
Dam!
What Do You Call A
Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.
What Do You Call
Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.
Why Do Gorillas Have
Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
Why Did Pilgrims'
Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
How Are An Oklahoma
Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
RDN --
"READ DE NEWS":
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info
everyday .... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK: With
all the "jungle heat" that is plaguing the country, I
thought these "cool" pictures would make your day. They are
awesome. They are outstanding. They were taken by my
cousin Ron who lives in Canada and enjoys the reputation of being a
"photographer extraordinaire". You might say he is the
-- "Ansel of the Antarctic."
|
08/05/20001
RADIOS LOST
GENERATION ***: During
the '60s the 12 to 24 crowd ruled. They were the swinging
majority -- nurtured, catered to, and coveted by radio all across the
country. The difference between then and now is that while Radio
held the 12 to 24 groups close to their bosom, their programming also
appealed to 25 to 54-year-olds as well. Through calculated day
parting the audience remained diverse and loyal.
I have always taken issue
with the 12 to 24 demos. 12 to 18 are more like it. When I
was 24, we had two children and all the responsibility that life
brings to the table, which is nothing a 12-year-old could ever
comprehend. As for the kids of today, there are a ton of them.
12 to 24 represents 52 million people, yet very few radio station's
target this demographic.
Morning radio, 2001,
consists of Flick and Flack sitting in a studio in Somewhere, USA,
piped into 300 radio stations, talking about breasts and giggling into
their microphones. The majority of 12 to 17-year-olds are up
before 7 AM and out of the house before most morning shows get into
gear. Meanwhile, many 18 to 24-year-olds sleep in, completely
missing morning radio. Those that are up and have more time on
their hands ARE listening in the morning, but the competition is
fierce. Vying for their ear are not only other radio stations,
the list includes many outside forces such as TV, CDs, and the
Internet, plus Satellite Radio looming on the horizon. By not
cultivating the "younger crowd" the Radio industry is in
danger of alienating an entire generation of would be radio listeners
-- but to whom?
When asked, "which
medium is the best place to find out about new music?" Radio was
the top choice. A disturbing fact was that males voiced great
dissatisfaction with radio and disclosed that they found the Internet
a prime source for new music. MTV aggressively targets the 12 to
24 market, while most radio stations pay little or no attention to the
12 to 17 portion of this group. One reason is that the favorite
music of this generation is Hip-Hop and Rap, which is a turnoff for
older adults. And when asked the question: "in the future
do you think people your age (12 - 17) will listen to radio
anymore?" Almost a third felt that the Internet would
provide what we know as radio. That is scary. We are
allowing an entire generation to define' audio entertainment' without
considering radio.
The NFL has a department
devoted to marketing 6 to 11-year-olds. They realize kids need
to be trained to watch football on Sundays and root for their favorite
team. If they are not tuned in to football by the time they are
12, these kids may very well be lost to other sports. Radio can
learn a lesson here. Other than Disney Radio, the industry
hardly speaks to the group of people that will make up the next
generation of listeners. How sad.
Art Roberts
*** This article is based
on a report entitled, "Radio's Future -- Today's 12 to 24 Year
Olds" by Edison Media Research (Americas fastest-growing market
research company) www.edisonresearch.com
'BOUT TIME
YOU HEARD THE TRUTH 'BOUT LARRY SHANNON: If
it wasn't for Larry, this web site would never have been launched.
If it wasn't for Larry, "Thinkin' Out Loud" would never have
been published. He remains my Phantom friend.
Besides being a personal inspiration, Larry has always had a passion
for the industry he once called home along with an empathy for those
who influenced its growth. (His Radio Daily News is a
testimonial to his involvement with the industry.) Among
the radio stations that influenced him in his youth was WLS, whose
Towers reside in a Chicago suburb while its signal encompassed
America. He was one of the kids who soaked up the sunshine of
the jocks and their music.
Larry has authored a
wonderful essay about WLS -- written from the listeners perspective.
R&I is proud to present it to you.
RON JENKINS:
The same Ron Jenkins who covered the Kennedy assassination, and voiced
the words, "Something is wrong here, something is terribly
wrong" -- http://www.members.home.net/bobmorrison/JENKINS.html
-- and has been a news voice in Dallas/Fort Worth for 40 years --
Ron has had his second stroke since January. He is at Baylor
Medical Center in Garland (room 353). Cards & letters can be
sent to him c/o the hospital and 2300 Marie Curie, Garland, TX
75042. Phone number -- 972 -- 487 -- 5000.
When I talked to Ron he
sounded fine. His voice and spirit were very strong. His
left side is paralyzed (I can sure relate to that) -- but family,
friends, therapy and prayer are all a catalyst for a quick recovery.
MY PAL PERRY WAXES
WISDOM:
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have, the longer
you live.
Ever notice that the people who
are late are often much jollier
than the people who have to
wait for them?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
more people happy?
Most of us go to our grave with
our music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices
every day, how come nothing
is free yet?
You may be only one person
in the world, but you may also
be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much
fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from
crayons: some are sharp,
some are pretty, some are dull,
some have weird names, and
all are different colors.... but
they all have to learn to live in
the same box.
Everything should be made as
simple as possible, but no
simpler.
A truly happy person is one
who can enjoy the scenery
on a detour.
RDN --
REAL-TIME STUPH:
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info
everyday .... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK: If
you love the music put out on those little 45 R.P.M. records with the
big hole, the radio stations and disc jockeys who played them, this
place is devoted to them. Hit record surveys from stations of the time
are on display here. Nearly 800 from Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota,
WDGY and KDWB. Also have over 1150 surveys from Chicago and over 700
Los Angeles ones.
That's it for this week.
ART ROBERTS
|
 |
|
07/29/2001
GLOBAL GROWIN': Fifteen countries have joined us
at ArtRoberts.com in month in July. Once again Canada leads the pack by
2 1/2 lengths -- followed by Netherlands, United Kingdom, Old Style Arpanet,
Taiwan, Japan, Australia, Croatia, Malaysia and Spain rounding out the top 10.
These countries were followed by France, Italy, New Zealand, Singapore and
Germany. Please come back often.
THE FREE LANCE DREAM
MACHINE:
The Few, The Proud, The Brave ... The Voices that bring an identity and
cohesiveness to today's Radio. DJ's in PJ's, holding a hot cup of
coffee, creating quality production from a corner of a room.
It is getting easier and easier to
create a home recording studio thanks to ever expanding technology and
software. A multitrack recorder on your computer screen has been
available for quite some time now. Easy to set up and use, products like
"Cool Edit" have opened windows of opportunity in markets all across
the country. There is no excuse for sloppy production no matter what
size market. Superior commercials translates to a knife that delivers
your slice of the pie. Screw numbers. They never have and never
will tell a client what your station is all about. A sample of the
production department's creativity speaks louder than any ARB book ever can.
Always remember, "BIG only
counts in sumo wrestling."
RADIO'S STORY TELLER:
We talked for over a half-hour. His trusty tape recorder inhaled every
word. After hanging up the phone I wondered how the final draft would
read? Well, I said to myself, ' you'll soon find out.'
Like everything else in this world
a vacation has its "upside" and "downside." The good
part is just getting away. Having fun, losing tension, along with a few
laughs. The downside happens when you get home. That pile of mail
drooping over the edge of the table, complimented by 211 e-mails waiting to be
opened. Mixed in this maze of correspondence was my copy of R&R,
dated June 29th, 2001. The article began on page 1 and was continued on
page 31. Finishing the article, I placed it neatly on the dining table,
uttering an old Texas expression: "Bob Shannon, you did me proud!"
Legends, Bob's weekly column in
R&R, spotlights radio personalities across the country. He is
truthful, accurate -- creating words that come alive. I guess I'll
have to renew my subscription to R&R!
X MARKS THE SPOT:
XM Satellite Radio will begin service to Dallas/Fort Worth and San Diego on
Sept. 12. The rest of us peons will be able to enjoy XM's 100 channel
offering between mid-October and November, depending where you are located.
This is really exciting news folks, there will be 71 music channels (30
commercial free) and 29 news, talk, sports and entertainment channels.
All this for a meager fee of $9.99. Every broadcaster needs a slogan --
even satellite radio. "Radio to the Power of X." --
Yo Mamma!
CLAUDE TALKS ABOUT HIS PAL
BOBBY: This
is just an outlandish plug without apology. Bobby Vee currently
lives in a beautiful home he and
wife Karen built on a peninsula overlooking Detroit Lakes not too far outside
of St. Cloud, MN. He and his sons have a recording studio in St. Cloud.
All three boys--Tom, Jeff, Rob--are members of his five-man band and they're
quite good. I've known these men since they were pumpkins; they grew up
with my kids when they lived near us in Los Angeles. Bob's wife Karen
and my wife Barbara are friends. Bob and I are friends. As
friends, we have a lot of memories together. I will never forget the
night we camped out in the rocks at 29 Palms in California and the kids sang
Steve Miller songs around a campfire deep into the night. Bob, who
garnered six Gold Records, including "Take Good Care of My Baby,"
"The Night Has a Thousand Eyes," and "Devil or Angel,"
will perform Aug. 10-11, 2001, at the Riviera Hotel/Casino in Las Vegas.
I know most of you can't even think about coming to see the show (too far),
but you have my personal guarantee that the show will be fun! Vee and
the Vee Band perform all over the world, ranging from state fairs and casinos
in the mid-west to concert halls in Europe and the Far East. They recently
performed by request at a private party held by Paul McCartney in the old
Roseland Ballroom New York City. For more information, check out Bob's
website at www.bobbyvee.net
or e-mail him care of band member Jeff at JVelline@aol.com
Claude Hall
DJ EVOLUTION FROM MY PAL
PERRY:
Evolution
Of a
Disc Jockey 
RDN --
HEADLINES THE INDUSTRY FORGOT:
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Fresh Radio info everyday
.... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK:
Thought you would
like to see the town I once called home.
07/22/2001
VACATION OBSERVATION: Just
got back from a week's worth of Las Vegas. Bobbi and I went there hoping
to find Elvis Presley. We did! He is now a 25 cent slot machine at
the MGM. Bummer. They could of at least made him a dollar slot
machine.
We all have our heroes, and I was
lucky enough to have breakfast with one of mine. Bobbi and I stumbled
downstairs at 8 AM to meet Claude Hall and his wonderful wife Barbara.
We talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked
(in between sips of coffee.) I think I just found a new best friend.
One more thing ... Commanders
Palace (Yes, the original New Orleans gem) is a real find in a restaurant.
We met the owner and Bobbi suggested they open one in Reno. He explained
that they were a company which moved rather slowly. It took them 120
years to open their second restaurant in Las Vegas. The gumbo is worth
the wait.
... AND NOW, THE BEST OF R&I
GET A LAWYER: Anyone in a highly volatile
profession needs representation (preferably a lawyer) before signing any
agreement. Radio is in the same category as a player for the NBA, NFL,
AFC, etc. Yours is a profession that can become victim to the whims of
management. I remember last year, when Rick Party, who had been with
WGCI - FM in Chicago for eight years, and ranked No. 1 in the afternoon, was
let go with the flimsy excuse that the station "wanted to go in a
different direction." And in Philadelphia, WWDB-FM dumped their 25
year talk format and became "The hits of the 80s", (Isn't that
original) firing 45 people in the process.
It has become apparent that radio performers will pack up and move to a new
position without considering possible outcomes in the future.
Acquisitions, change of management, and other unforeseeable decisions can and
will affect your life. Any contract that does not protect your
livelihood is not worth signing. Don't go it alone. Have legal
representation at your side who will see to it that the clauses of a contract
which might "do you in" have monetary consequences for the station
that is hiring you. If a station or group balks at the suggestion of
representation, don't sign a contract. Quit being so hungry that you
except less than you deserve. You are being hired for your talent.
Protect your back.
.....WILL THEY EVER
LEARN?
1. You cannot
strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
2. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
3. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
4. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
5. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your
income.
6. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class
hatreds.
7. You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
8. You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's
initiative and independence.
9. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they
could and should do for themselves.
... ABRAHAM LINCOLN
YOU CAN'T BOOTLEG A BOOTLEGGER: In the
early days of the record industry, people in control wore long dark coats with
velvet collars. They didn't always give their artists an accurate count,
but you can bet your red Beemer convertible they got one from their
distributors. My favorite story is about an ABC sales manager back in
the '50s who heard that there was someone in New York bootlegging his records.
After a couple of phone calls, he knew exactly who it was and where they were.
So he got in his car with a couple of heavy hitters (in long dark coats with
velvet collars), drove to Brooklyn, walked up two flights of stairs, kicked
open the door -- and with sledgehammers proceeds to break up all the illegal
equipment and counterfeit product. Then he turned to the petrified
counterfeiter and said "What the Hell are you doing? You can't
Bootleg a Bootlegger!"
Piracy is even more rampant today. With the technology of downloading
and CD burners, anyone can set up shop in back of a store or in the basement
of a condo. Selling, manufacturing, and distributing the illegal copies
of recorded music is a crime. Anti-Piracy units have cracked down in New
York, Chicago and other cities, including San Antonio. Tens of thousands
of counterfeit discs and cassettes were seized and destroyed.
Counterfeiters were tossed in the clink. The long dark coats with velvet
collars may be gone, but the sledgehammers are still alive and well. And
they know where you live!
'BOUT TIME SOMEONE
SAID SOMETHING GOOD 'BOUT RADIO: Years
ago, I applied for a job at a small East Texas radio station. I guess
they didn't get a lot of applicants because the owner came to a quick hiring
decision, and told me "Your day off will be from noon Saturday to noon
Sunday." And I said, "That's not a day off!" And he
said, "It's 24 hours, ain't it?" The point being, every era in
our industry has had a share of "the good, the bad, and the real ugly.
Deregulation has given us a whole new set of uglies! It seems that most
of what you read today zero's in on the dark side of radio without crossing
the road that leads to sunshine.
There is lots of sunshine. Every week I print comments from folks just
like you, many of which glorify their position in radio and exude passion for
the industry that has afforded them "a good life." Firings,
layoffs, changes in management or format have always been "events you
cope with" in radio. They are not anything negotiable, merely a
fact of life. Complaining accomplishes nothing. It is like playing
pro football and telling the coach "I enjoy the game, I just don't like
getting hit."
There are still good markets that are worthy of your talent and good radio
stations that treat people like family. My dear friend Jonathan has
spent his entire career in Madison, Wisconsin. In fact, I can name quite
a few people who have carved out a "righteous career" without
bouncing off unfriendly walls. Right in my backyard in Gardnerville NV,
the local station (KGVM) is a shining example. The owner's, Lloyd and
Caroline, service the communities of Gardnerville and Minden and provide the
area with prime programming and a steady diet of local news. Their
morning personality has been there for a dozen or more years. Chris is a
joy to listen to every morning -- he is fast, funny, in tune with today, and
very consistent. (Let's not forget the contentment that goes along with
stability.)
Radio is an industry that offers many choices. You can live and work in
"Small Market" USA. Scratch out a living at a suburban station
while dreaming of the big bucks in the larger market "down the road a
piece." Or fight the major market mayhem. Which one
would you pick? Which ever, quitcha bitchin'.
MY PAL PERRY OFFERS
TIPS ON WHINE WINE:
The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
15. Box O' Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
9. NASCARbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Stagger Home
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling
1. Nasti Spumante
WEBBER OF THE WEEK:
TRY THIS. . .
2. Select a dialect
(Redneck, Jive, Cockney, ElmerFudd, SwedishChef, Moron, or Pig Latin).
3. Enter another Web site.
Try www.ronriley.com - you
must enter this in the box within the "rinkworks" site.
(Actually you can enter any URL that gets you to a site with a lot of text)
4. Watch what happens!
07/15/2001
R&I
WHERE DID RADIO LOSE ITS "TOUCH"?
As always, thanks for taking the time to answer my question!
Just one more, was that Kenny Dino song as good as I remember? I
guess not or it would have been a national hit? I must disagree
with you on one point, and say one thing for KDOK in the 90's, the
demographics were not limited to "45 to senile" as you said
in your answer! They included a lot of "the young, younger,
and youngest", just because the music was great, and the
d.j.s were fun! They were fun because they enjoyed what they
were doing, at least I know that you and Paul Berry were having a
ball, as I did when I was "sitting in" for you later on!
I was going back to college when I first discovered you back on the
air at KDOK, and I would hear your show all over the campus!
When I would ask kids about why they listened to you instead of the
"hit music", or "hit country" stations, they all
said they couldn't believe your show, they always heard great music,
and that you had a way of mixing all kinds of stuff together, so it
didn't get old. Kids then were making cassette tape mixes
of their own favorite kinds of music (much as they are today with
"MP3s"), because radio was (is) "narrowcasting" to
an audience that only existed (exists) in some researcher's
"phantom demographics", and they knew (know) it!
Remember, during their heyday, Napster was down loading
"favorite tracks", not entire cd's! Like when
listeners tuned to F.M. radio in the 70's, because they didn't want to
hear an entire album of music by the same artist, and they had no way
to record their favorite songs and play them back in random order!
They said you, "Uncle Art", and "Paul B." were
like old friends who really enjoyed what they were doing, who didn't
play the same songs over and over again! Listeners didn't (don't) know
enough about the business to blame the owners, or programmers for the
lack of variety, they blame (and praise) the d.j. for what happened
(happens) during their shift! They also made note of the fact,
as I always have, that you knew what you were talking about when you
talked about the artists and music, like you knew them personally!
Remember, not all of the d.j.s on that
station were great, or even good! That's exactly why half of the
broadcasters in America, (or at least those of us within the WLS tower
pattern) listened to you when we were that age and younger, and why we
all wanted to try and do it, or at least try to be a little like Art
Roberts! I think losing that job at KDOK hurt me more than any
of the big market jobs I ever had, because I looked forward to going
to work everyday, and turning people on to so many kinds of music and
artists, and having fun on the air with the listeners, not for the
listeners! That's why we had listeners in the first place!
My only regret is that you didn't come back so I could work with you,
not for you! Maybe someday some programmer will decided to try
that 4-mat of yours again, and they'll use me as a week-end man!
I've got my tape ready! Please note that my resume includes over
500 stations, so I'm not very stable, but I'm good! I learned
from the best!
your fan,
Eddy Payne
alias Ronnie Rooster
"the village idiot"
GEORGE HAD A SCARY MOMENT:
Beatle George was ready for a battle in a Swiss Hospital. The
doctors prescribed radiotherapy which seemed to do the trick.
George Harrison does not need any further treatment.
SO WHERE'S THE MONEY? I
was reading a report the other day about starting salaries for people
just getting out of college. It is not hard to find a job paying
$50,000 a year being offered to those who have earned a degree.
And if you have an MBA in your hip pocket, entry-level opportunities
start at around $100,000 a year. But not in radio.
As groups continue to grow and gobble up the competition, salaries for
on air performers continue to go down. It is amazing how many of
the top 100 cities are paying salaries under $25,000 a year.
Small markets offer salaries in the 15 to $17,000 bracket. A
person bagging groceries makes more than that! As long as the
"owner mentality" believes that entertainment stops at 9:00
in the morning -- followed by brainless cue cards and hard drive
storage -- on air opportunities will continue to dwindle.
PERSONALITY WITH A PASSION:
Hubcap Carter is the
new morning guy at KLZ 560 AM in Denver. The
station is a member of the Hubcap Radio Network and will continue to
carry his Saturday night syndicated show. E-mail Hubcap at
hubcap3@swbell.net
I worked with Hubcap at KLUV in Dallas, so
I can tell y'all in Denver with authority, come Monday morning when
your driving to work, "Roll down your windows and turn your radio
up REAL LOUD!!"
MY PAL PERRY NAMES TEN WAYS YOU
KNOW YOU'RE IN MONEY TROUBLE:
1. American Express calls and says:
"Leave home without it!"
2. Your
idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
3.
You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe
Lincoln.
4. Long
distance companies don't call you to switch.
5. You
look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
6. Your
rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
7. You
finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
8. You
think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
9. Your
bologna has no first name.
10. At
communion you go back for seconds.
RDN -- AINT YOUR DADDY'S
GOOD OLD BOYS CLUB!
Radio Daily News -- Larry Shannon delivers Radio info everyday
... www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK:
Reno NV celebrates Hot August Nights the first week of August each
year. The theme is: "Old cars and rock-and-roll."
Since most of you will not be attending, I thought this would be the
next best thing.
7/08/2001
R&I
BE PREPARED: There was always a can of
Lysol in my top desk drawer. Well, I never knew when the person
before me would come to work with a sore throat, or flu, or who knows
what. A medicinal smelling microphone was a small price to pay
for antiseptic protection.
One
afternoon while I was doing my show on WCUE in Akron, Ohio, I opened
the microphone and completely blacked out... Couldn't remember the
call letters of the station, the town I was in, my name, not even the
song that was ending. Scary. The doctor said that I needed
some rest as I was suffering from fatigue. From that day on I
always kept a yellow writing tablet with my name, the call letters,
and the city written boldly in the right hand corner ... Just in case.
I never blanked out again.
The
Villa Venice nightclub, with its castle like appearance and a moat
surrounding it offering gondola rides, presented a Command Performance
which featured Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. in the
most electrifying show that I have ever seen. The three sang and
danced, cracked jokes, and created a memorable evening that the
audience would never forget. I had a chance to talk with Frank
Sinatra, and I commented on how much fun the three must have working
together. Frank's answer changed my life. He said:
"Nothing good is adlibbed." Every song, every joke,
every move was rehearsed to perfection. I followed that lead on
my program every day. Oh, I always prepared my show, but after
hearing those words and seeing the end result, I shifted into
overdrive.
In
radio, preparation is job one. The yellow pad and a can of Lysol
is your choice. ... ART ROBERTS
HAL
WIDSTEN SCANS THE HORIZON: Karl
Davis was still in top form when I was in Chicago with you. Do
you remember Ed Muzard? He was another turntable turner.
Ed once told me he drove for Capone when he, Ed, was a young man.
Paxton Mills was a great morning guy at KIMN in Denver in the early
KIMN days when Ken Palmer owned the staton. I heard an aircheck
of his work a few years ago. Sad to lose him.
You'll love this. The RAB has just issued a one-sheet document
suggesting that we should be comparing this year's revenues to a base
year of 1998. Their rationale is that the dot com business
started in 99, and because it was as they say, "an anomaly,"
we should pretend that the great years of 99 and 2000 were artificial.
What a joke! It sounds like the guys in the public companies are
looking for something to help them look better than they really do in
this "down year" of revenue. 2001 is what it is.....a
bad year so far, and no one can put a positive spin on it.
The event that could turn everything around is the tax refund that is
coming beginning the week of July 23, and continuing through the week
of September 24. I have not talked to anyone yet who is going to
save their refund. If this doesn't kick the economy in the
behind, nothing will. Everyone selling radio should be pitching
this opportunity to every client on their list.
Senator Hollings has figured it out, but as you say, it is too late.
The only good thing about consolidation may be that Clear Channel has
finally done something smart. They've signed up with Hiwire to
set up local internet-only avails on their station web sites.
Maybe advertisers will buy them at some price, and a new business will
be born. Or, maybe not.
Looks like IBOC will roll out in selected markets where the sales of
after-market radios are the highest. It can't come soon enough
for me. The AM difference between analog and digital will be the
most dramatic.
Hal Widsten
WE
LOST SOME MORE FRIENDS: A
lot of country artists owe their start to Chet Atkins. Like Don
Gibson. Charlie Pride. Waylon Jennings. He even
worked with Elvis, and Willie, and Dolly, and so many others.
Chet's vision shaped the path for today's country music.
Wanna
hear a great Chet Atkins story? One day we were driving through
the streets at Nashville in Chet's car. I was in the passenger
seat and a couple of other folks were sitting in back. It was a
brand-new Lincoln Continental and I was admiring the plush interior,
the leather seats, and the soft ride. One of the fellows in the
back asked, "How come you're not driving a Cadillac, Chet?"
Without taking his eyes off the road, Chet answered: "Well, I
dearly love a Cadillac, but if I drove one everybody would think I was
a sideman." Chet fought cancer for the past few years.
He died at his home on Saturday, June 30th. Chet was 77. R
I P
Johnny
Russell, a star on the Grand Ole Opry, died on Tuesday, July 3rd.
Johnny wrote the song "Act Naturally" which was recorded by
Buck Owens in 1963 and went to Number 1 on the charts. It was
also recorded two years later by the Beatles, with Ringo Starr
singing the vocal. Johnny Russel was 61.
Ernie
K-Doe, who had a No. 1 hit with ``Mother-In-Law'' in 1961, died July
5th. He was 65.
WHY
IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS PICKING ON ME:
It must have been a slow Newsday in the Philippines. Art Bell is
the victim of a bogus e-mail message titled "Filipinos make me
puke" -- which bears his signature -- and made its way to a
Philippine newspaper, which did what newspapers do -- printed it.
GIVE US A BREAK! Anyone who has ever listened to Art Bell on the
radio (and there are some 500 radio stations that carry his program)
knows very well that is not the way Art talks. Or a subject he
would address. Anyway, the newspaper finally issued an apology.
It's not over. Rumor has it that a spaceship was seen streaking
across the sky, headed in the direction of the Philippines. WOW!
UNBREAKABLE
OBSERVATIONS FROM MY PAL PERRY:
"According to a new study, Americans now spend 94% of their time
indoors. What do you expect from a culture that goes inside a gym to
use a walking machine? "
"What's
the difference between the Government and the Mafia? One of them is
organized."
RDN
-- WHAT DO THAT SPELL?
Radio Daily News -- spreading its wings across land and
sea. Larry Shannon delivers Radio info everyday ....
www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER
OF THE WEEK:
You thought you saw a light show at the last Rock Concert? You
aint seen nothin' yet ....
R&I
"IT AINT WHAT YOU DO, IT'S THE WAY HOW YOU DO IT THAT
COUNTS"
I receive volumes of
e-mail from people in small markets wondering how they can make the
move to a larger or major market. My response is pretty much the
same to everyone: "Enjoy the Moment." The only break
you receive in radio is your first job. Everything after that
you will earn. Uncertainties are a given in any vocation.
Focus remains your ONLY ally.
Ever hear of Karl Davis?
Probably not. Karl never dominated the top 40 charts -- he was
part of a duo on the WLS Barn dance, billed as Karl and Harty.
They spread smiles all over the Midwest. Karl was also a
songwriter. He was so proud when the Everly Brothers recorded
two of his songs, "I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail" and
"Kentucky." Yes, Karl Davis had his moments of
sunshine. Our paths crossed at WLS, where he was employed as a
record Turner. I better explain what a record Turner is -- when
ABC bought WLS from Prairie Farmer they inherited a house band.
Planning to be a rock-and-roll radio station there was no need for the
live orchestra. Most of the musicians were given a cash
settlement while a few were kept on as record Turner's. Their
job was to put the needle on a record and start the turntable.
Sounds like a cushy job -- yet each one of them turned it into a state
of the art position. For example, I might have had one minute
and 47 seconds before the top of the hour tone and I wanted the song
to end exactly on the hour. Karl would drop the needle and I
would get EXACTLY one minute and 47 seconds worth the music.
That, my friends, is a lost art.
Karl taught me to
"Enjoy every moment in life with equal vigor." Relish
every challenge. Appreciate where I've been, but never dwell on
it. After all, the real excitement in life is buried in the
unknown.
... Art Roberts
THANK YOU
BOB SHANNON ... R&R:
As of Friday's deadline for R&I I had not received my copy of
R&R, but my e-mail box was dotted with accolades for Bob Shannon's
LEGENDS column where I am featured this week. "Mailman,
mailman, wherefore art thou ..." (Oh, Oh ... I'm sorry ...)
"Mailperson, mailperson ..."
GLOBAL
WARMING - ARTROBERTS.COM STYLE: June
found us 'busting out all over the world.' Twenty-one countries
clicked onto the website with Canada leading the pack, followed by
Australia, United Kingdom, Japan, Germany, Old style Arpanet, Taiwan,
Yugoslavia, Finland, and France rounding out the top 10. These
were followed by Spain, Croatia, Ireland, New Zealand, Estonia,
Norway, Sweden, Mexico, Malaysia, Belgium, and the Netherlands.
What a small world the Net has weaved.
TOO LITTLE
TOO LATE? Ernest
F. Hollings, Democratic senator from South Carolina and chairman of
the Commerce Committee, and Byron Dorgan, Democratic senator from
North Dakota, raised some disturbing questions this week in the
Washington Post. "Prior to the 1996
Telecommunications Act, the top radio station group owned 39 stations
and generated annual revenues of $495 million. Today the top group
owns more than 1,100 stations and generates annual revenues of almost
$3.2 billion. According to a recent news report, the radio
industry has consolidated into four companies that control 90 percent
of radio advertising revenue."
Then they turned our
attention to TV .... the new Frontier of Manipulative Power Plays.
"It is local information that sculpts each community's unique
debate over its politics and culture. Do we want broadcast decisions
about local news and information in Fargo, N.D., and Columbia, S.C.,
to be determined by the media giants in Manhattan and Los Angeles,
whose primary interest is in maximizing ad revenue? Our answer is no.
But if media consolidation is allowed to continue unfettered, and the
ownership restrictions that are now on the books are relaxed or
repealed, local control, local coverage and a robust marketplace of
ideas will suffer."
"By maintaining
sensible restrictions on ownership of media properties, we can promote
diversity in the marketplace and preserve the localism that every
American has come to expect when he or she picks up the morning paper
or turns on the local news. Let us not repeat the mistakes that led to
the rapid consolidation in radio and in the marketplace for TV
programming. This is not just about competition between major media
conglomerates. It's a question of whether we want all of the media
outlets in this country to be controlled by a powerful few."
ROOK'S
RAMBLINGS:
John Rook advised us that American Radio's senior analyst Tony Sanders
disputes Senate Commerce Committee Chairman Ernest Hollings and
Senator Byron Dorgan's "sensible restrictions on ownership of
media properties" article in last week's Washington Post.
According to Sanders, the top four billing radio companies
"control" only 42% of radio revenues. *** It
should be noted that American Radio is owned by Clear Channel
Communications.
WHO WANTS TO
BE A BILLIONAIRE?
The first thing to do is OWN radio stations! Can't find any
worth buying? Too bad. Forbes Magazine released
their 2001 list of the World's Richest People and Viacom Chairman and
CEO Sumner Redstone tied for 18th-place at $12.6 billion;
Michael Bloomberg, founder of Bloomberg Radio, ranked at 82 with $4.5
billion, and Clear Channel Chairman and CEO Lowry Mays showed up 251st
with a mere $1.9 billion. Got change for a dollar?
TO ALL MY
FRIENDS -- GOT THIS E-MAIL THE OTHER DAY ... IT'S REALLY FOR YOU:
"Please check out our
NEW website! Very cool.... www.xmradio.com
"
Lee Abrams
Senior Vice President & Chief Programming Officer
XM Satellite Radio
*** PERSONAL
NOTE: "XM Satellite Radio isn't an industry 'Hail
Mary' pass ... It's the best TOUCHDOWN Radio has SCORED in years!
... Art Roberts
WE LOST SOME
MORE FRIENDS: Harry
Paxton Mills, a popular radio personality in Denver for 20 years and
morning show host for KXKL (KOOL) 105-FM, died of a heart attack
Monday, in an Aspen hotel. Harry had resigned a few days
before his demise, citing personal reasons. He was 52.
Just found out that Ed
"Jack the Bellboy" McKenzie passed in February, he was 90.
Two other WXYZ greats, Fred Wolf and Paul Winter, also transferred to
that big studio in the sky. Interesting side note: The three
went in the order that they appeared on Wixie: Fred/mornings, Paul/middays
and then Ed/afternoons.
Jack Lemon. MISTER
ROBERTS remains everyone's favorite and won Jack a supporting OSCAR
for playing Ensign Pulver. He remained a working actor all his
life. Jack Lemon was 76.
I'm saddened to report
that Bill Bryant has passed away. Our loss, Heavens gain.
KIRB
IT'S EVEN
BETTER THE SECOND TIME AROUND: Ron
Riley's WLS 1968 aircheck holds down the #1 spot at ReelRadio.com this
week. He also has offerings at #3 and #7. My Main Man!!
www.reelradio.com ...
RDN --
RADIO'S INDEPENDENT THUNKER: RDN
(Radio Daily News) spreads the Radio Gospel. Larry Shannon
delivers Radio info everyday .... www.radiodailynews.com
MY PAL PERRY TURNS
IN HIS RESIGNATION:
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK:
Summertime is the time for music. It's amazing how many Oldies
Groups are still rockin' and rollin'. Find out when you're
favorite artists will be playing in your state. Simply click the
map and plan a party.
HE SAID,
"KISS MY ASS" ON THE RADIO:
"No shit. He
said THAT on the radio? "
"Yeah, I heard him with my own ears. He said THAT on the
radio."
"No shit. And they let him get away with it?"
"Of course. He says four letter curse words on the radio
all the time."
"How come he says four letter curse words on the radio all the
time?"
"Because there are no THREE letter curse words!
Dreaming of becoming a
"Shock Jock?" ("Schlock Jock" is a better
descriptive phrase.) Today's taboos are not nearly as stringent
as they were back in the '60s, but one fact remains a constant.
The policing of what is said on the air should remain the jurisdiction
of MANAGEMENT and not the concerns of elected officials. Lenny
Bruce is the prime example depicting " the dangers of
censorship" and relentless persecution. Even though his
career was not on radio, he may very well have been -- "America's
First Shock Jock."
Back in December of 1962,
I accompanied a group of friends to the Gate of Horn, a nightclub in
Chicago that specialized in folk, jazz, and sometimes-satirical humor.
Lenny's subject material consisted of everything
"unmentionable" in that era. Drugs. Abortions.
Nuclear testing. Religions. The death penalty. Etc.
What made this night different from any other was a group of Mayor
Daley's finest (The Men In Blue) that were pasted on the back wall of
this small club, poised to pounce. Lenny Bruce amused the
audience with a story about all the religious leaders having a reunion
in Rome which included lines like "could you send me some 8 by 10
glossies of you wearing the big ring" -- and "could you get
me a deal on a dago sports car." After that, Lenny talked
about humor. He told the audience that all it took was a funny
joke to make us laugh. But if he would embarrass us, we'd laugh
even harder. To prove this point he told the funny joke.
The audience laughed. Then Lenny paused -- looked around the
room -- and said two words -- "F**K You" -- the audience
ROARED, while the men in Blue peeled off the back wall and marched
Lenny, with his hands cuffed behind him, to an awaiting paddy wagon.
Lenny was arrested for 'obscenity' and the owner of the club was
threatened with the danger of losing his license. His trial was
"The rabbit in a courtroom of foxes." He was tried,
convicted, and immediately appealed. In the next two years,
Lenny Bruce would be arrested 15 times. His routines onstage
ceased to be funny and revolved around the inadequacies of our legal
system. "In the halls of justice, the only justice is in
the halls."
He wasn't all-wrong.
Lenny Bruce was prosecuted for the words he chose to use to a select
audience that comprised his flock. He never physically harmed
anyone. Never committed a felony. Our legal system simply
stripped him of his rights, forced him into poverty and eventually
caused his death. Can't happen today? It can -- if we
allow it.
... ART ROBERTS
CORROBORATION
-- CLEAR CHANNEL UNDERSTANDS THE GAME: Last
week we told you about Kramer and Twitch, KEGL-FM. Dallas / Ft Worth,
who told their audience that Brittany Spears was killed in a car
crash, and boyfriend Justin was in a coma. The hoax was
considered "humor," while management viewed it as "the
last straw." Kramer and Twitch got the boot this week.
It seems this was not the only screw up the duo had pulled.
While working for CCC's KSJO-FM in San Jose, they told their audience
to run over people on bicycles or hit them with their car doors.
They also cost CCC a $14,000 indecency fine. Do we have to bring
up their ratings? The broadcast industry doesn't need
Censorship. Sensible broadcasters work just fine, thank you.
CHERISH THE
TALENT YOU MEET:
I met Jimmy Rabbitt at a country station in Tyler, Texas. He had
more talent than everyone on the station combined ... And was more
exciting than an East Texas Rodeo on a Saturday night. I am glad
we met. This is Jimmy's latest song. Proud to present it
to you.
Drug Store Wranglers
Jimmy Rabbitt
Pellett MusicBMI2001
The first time I heard
country music,
I lowered my car and let my hair grow
They called it Rock and Roll way back then
Three cords kickin' out my speakers,
dust just a'dancin' on the dash-board,
n' someone was singin' about the way we lived
We were stood-up and
broken hearted,
drivin' hot-rod cars and Harleys
Livin' fast, lovin' hard, and Faron Young
We cried no one could understand us,
and the t.v. had to raise us,
but we never doubted, our heros could ride
But now it's
drug-store Cowboys,
in their pre-faded Wranglers,
with the rips and tears right from the store
tryin' to sing like Hank Sr.,
tryin' to look like Jim Shoulders,
tryin' to bow them legs
that never held a horse
verses:
2.
It was Elvis, Gene n' Johnny,
Sister Rose, Patsy n' Connie,
Bobby Vee, Jerry Lee, Johnny n' Jack
Rock and Roll, or plain Hillbilly
Do wap songs, or "cats" from Philly
the radio played all our favorite songs
repeat bridge............
guitar break..............
3.
Then it was Dylan n' The Beatles
The Box Tops n' Creedence
The Eagles, The Stones n' Ramblin' Jack
Rock and Roll or Rockabilly,
surfer dude, or English fairy
f.m. radio just seemed to play it all
repeat bridge
guitar break
4.
Then it was Waylon and Willie
Carlene and Tom Petty
Neil Young, Travis Tritt n' Z.Z. Top
Rock and Roll or Outlaw Country
New Nashville or Americana
The Radio just called em' country songs
repeat bridge
WE LOST
ANOTHER FRIEND THIS WEEK:
John Lee Hooker. They're not sure of his birthdate ... some say
he was 80, others claim he was 83. No matter, John Lee was a
Blues musician extraordinaire. His music influenced countless
artists through the years, including The Rolling Stones, Z Z Top, etc.
with classics like "Boom Boom;" "One Bourbon, One
Scotch, One Beer;" and "Boogie Chillen." R I P
THE SAGA OF
BOB AND TOM:
After being syndicated on 101 stations, Bob Kevoian and Tom Griswold
land their first top 10 market. KZPS-FM, Dallas. Bob and
Tom take the baton from Bo and Jim. Not sure how the duo will do
in Dallas, but in their home in Indianapolis they are a runaway No. 1
in the morning. Best of luck guys.
RDN, RADIO
READING EVEN A MOTHER CAN LOVE:
RDN (Radio Daily News) has become the BOSOM of the industry.
Larry Shannon delivers Radio info everyday ...
THE
POWER OF MY PAL PERRY: "USA
Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of
four people make up 75 percent of the population."
WEBBER OF
THE WEEK: View
the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move
through space towards the Earth ... You aint gonna believe what you
see!
06/17/2001
"AND THEN I WORKED AT
...."
This week I
was interviewed by Bob Shannon, (Legends Column) Radio and Records.
It was a great interview, and while I was running through my laundry
list of radio stations I realized what an itinerant career we all
share. I guess it is reflective of that line from "A
Portrait of Jenny," a classic old movie starring Joseph Cotton
and Jennifer Jones, "From where I come no one knows, where I go
everyone goes, the wind blows, the sea rose, God knows."
I once asked
Sam Holman (the legendary program director / personality) to sum up
his career. Sam said, "It was a Hell of the a downhill
sleigh ride -- but if I could do it over, I wouldn't change a
thing." We all shared that vision. A career in radio
turned out to be a "Love/Hate" relationship. The
perfectionist inside of us loved those "moments of triumph"
we all experience, while "time" developed a callous
intolerance towards the inadequacies of management. Radio
performers of the past were a nomadic tribe. They roamed from
station to station carrying their own switch with which they were
summarily beaten. Talk about groups that were gluttons for
punishment!
Today's radio
has different rules -- and a VERY different playing field. Oh,
in the beginning the "Radiophile" bounces from market to
market, but eventually will reach a point where they will be able to
pitch a tent on an oasis, park their camel, and stay put as they
"grow" their career. From this fertile spot a radio
professional can become the "voice" for 30 to 40 markets.
His or her popularity will be measured by fractions instead of
audience response, but who cares -- no one listens that closely
anyway. And hey, that's almost coast-to-coast.
Do you know
the problem I see with staying in one spot and being the
"voice" for 30 to 40 markets? Think of all the great
restaurants you have missed...
... Art
Roberts
THE TEXAS RADIO HALL OF FAME:
The dream has become a reality. The "Texas Radio Hall of
Fame" cornerstone has been laid. www.texasradiohalloffame.com
is up! One fellow said, "You're talking about the real
GIANTS in the radio industry in Texas and across the country, aren't
you?" Yep! The time has come. Visit the Web site for
details and find out soon If you're eligible for membership, to
nominate and be nominated for induction. There will be special
categories for radio stations, posthumous awards, DJ's, announcers,
talk show hosts, newspeople, general managers, sales persons,
producers, engineers, etc. The competition to reach the finals in the
nominations is going to be as fierce and tough as Texas itself!
Fistfights, scratchin' and pistol duels may decide who becomes the
first year's inductees. It's Texas, you know! Get on the
mailing list to find out more details at www.texasradiohalloffame.com
Where in Hell did I hang my chaps?
BYE BYE BOZO...
My kids went to see Bozo the Clown. They waited six months for
their tickets -- and that was because I had pull back in those days.
Usually, the wait was measured in years. Bozo was the longest
running locally produced kids show in the country. WGN -TV in
Chicago taped their last "BOZO CIRCUS" this week. It
will be aired on July 14, ending 40 years of clowning around and
having fun. Okay kids, let's all wave bye bye to Bozo!
FILL YOUR TANK WITH RDN:
RDN (Radio Daily News) has
become the BUZZ of the industry. Larry Shannon delivers
Radio info everyday .... www.radiodailynews.com
MICHAEL POWELL, WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO ROW YOUR FCC BOAT TO SHORE: Kramer
and Twitch, KEGL-FM. Dallas / Ft Worth, decided to join the
"shock jock of the month club" by reporting that Britney
Spears and her boy friend, Justin, had been killed in a car crash.
Totally Fabricated. So was their report that Booz was involved.
Tearful listeners called in disbelief. KEGL management didn't
apologize until the next day via a taped message played before the
Kramer and Twitch show. I bet Pepsi loved that!
MUSIC FOR YOUR EARS FROM MY PAL
PERRY:
(Sung to the
tune of the TV western "Rawhide")
Rollin', rollin', rollin',
Though the state is golden,
Keep them blackouts rollin', statewide.
A little colder weather,
And we all freeze together,
Wishin' more plants were on the line.
All the things I'm missin',
Like lights and television,
Are waiting 'til we can pay the price.
(Chorus)
Turn 'em on, turn 'em off,
Shut 'em down, block 'em out,
Turn 'em on, turn 'em off, statewide!
Brown 'em out, black 'em out,
Charge 'em more, give 'em less,
Let the polls fix the mess, statewide!
Keep movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them rates a-movin', statewide.
Don't try to understand 'em,
Just raise, charge, and collect 'em.
Soon we'll be livin' high and wide.
My heart's calculatin',
Nuclear plants will be waitin',
Be waitin' at the end of my ride.
(Chorus)
Turn 'em on, turn 'em off,
Shut 'em down, block 'em out,
Turn 'em on, turn 'em off, statewide!
Brown 'em out, black 'em out,
Charge 'em more, give 'em less,
Let the polls fix the mess, statewide!
STATEWIDE!!! Hyaah!!
WEBBER OF THE WEEK:
Good old down-home southern cooking. That's what we are
featuring on the menu this week. Try the Short Ribs. Give
me that -- along with grits 'n gravy 'n greens any day. http://www.cbt.net/dedwards/
06/10/2001
NO RESPECT: The kid sat in the corner of his room in front
of a homemade console and "played radio" by the hour.
He told himself, "if only I could get a part-time job I
would be on my way." The local station hired him for a
10 hour shift Sunday morning from 6 AM to 2 PM. Four years
later, he was still doing Sunday mornings. So, he told himself,
"If only I could get a full-time job I would be on my way."
It was a smaller market, but at least it was full-time. The kid
worked diligently to hone his craft. After a couple of
years, he told himself, "If only I could work in a larger
market I would be on my way."
There's nothing like a big city where the streets go on forever and
the traffic never ends. He was the all-night DJ on the No.
1 classic rock station. Everything was fine except for that
Red phone in the corner.
It's 3 AM. He's singing along with Bob Dylan when the Red phone
lights up like a Christmas tree. "Christ, doesn't that
PD ever sleep?" So he told himself, "If only I
could be the PD I would be on my way."
A new town. A new station. He stood in a large office as
the station manager waived an Arbitron book in his face
screaming, "What the hell happened?" How should
HE know -- he had only been PD for a month. "And
another thing, get rid of that afternoon guy, he sounds
terrible." "I AM the afternoon guy," he told
himself, "If only I could be the station manager I would be
on my way."
He worked long hard hours cranking out budgets, attending breakfast meetings,
business lunches, and putting out fires. The manager's office had
his name on the door and he was doing a helluva job. So good,
both
the AM and FM were sold within a year. The new owners
already had four stations in the market when they added their new
acquisitions to two awaiting empty studios and hired one manager
for all six properties. A
handshake and "Good Luck" were the parting severance.
He told himself, "If only I could pass that real estate exam this Friday,
I would be on my way."
.... Art Roberts
THIS SURE BEATS A FISH FRY: Bob Barry (WOKY 920), Bob
Dailey, Lee Davis, Dick Record and Robert Snyder, will be
inducted into the Wisconsin Broadcasters Hall of Fame this
Tuesday at the Pfister Hotel.
Bob Barry and Lee Davis are two radio friends who I want to personally congratulate.
MO' AWARDS Y'ALL: Thursday June 28th is the date of the
2001 Country Music DJ Hall of Fame Banquet in Nashville.
The 2001 DJ Hall of Fame inductees are Terry Burford, Dale Eichor,
Country Joe Flint, Rhubarb
Jones (The pride of Georgia), and Chris Lane (posthumous).
Ya done good.
ANOTHER GEM FROM KEN LEVINE: For anyone growing up in New
York in the 50's and 60's you'll remember these.
Here's the WNEW jingle package. http://members.nbci.com/smashomax/wnew/
A TIP TO PASS ALONG TO YOUR AUDIENCE: The secret to
reaching an audience is: -- "talk about Real issues."
Like bread. When buying a loaf of bread at the grocery
store, you "squeeze" for freshness.
Please, DON'T squeeze the SOURDOUGH!
Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week?
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. And each day has a
different color twist tie. They are:
Monday - Blue
Tuesday - Green
Thursday - Red
Friday - White
Saturday - Yellow
Is this how Martha Stewart got started?
WE LOST ANOTHER FRIEND: He was a kid from New York City.
By the age of 13 he played the fiddle, dobro, and guitar.
Folk and Bluegrass flowed through his veins. John
Hartford's biggest hit was "Gentle On My Mind." At
4:30 p.m. June 4th, 2001, after a long struggle, John Hartford passed away
at Centennial Medical Center in Nashville, TN For the last
several weeks, John had been joined at his home by his
family and friends telling stories and reliving a wonderful
life. He enjoyed having some of his musical heroes play old songs
and recount stories of "show business".
Although he could no longer join in, he delighted in listening to
the music that he so dearly loved and spent a lifetime creating.
What more can you say about a man who touched so many. Rest
in peace, John Hartford. He was 63.
You can pay your respects on the Internet at www.johnhartford.com
RDN IS YOUR RADIO DNR: RDN (Radio Daily News) has become
the BUZZ of the industry. Larry Shannon delivers Radio
info everyday ... www.radiodailynews.com
MANLY THOUGHTS FROM MY PAL PERRY: (Damn, it's good to be a man
....)
1. Your last name stays put.
2. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
3. Same work, more pay.
4. Wrinkles add character.
5. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to
them.
6. One mood, ALL the damn time.
7. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
8. You almost never have strap problems in public.
9. You don't have to shave below your neck.
10. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
WEBBER OF THE
WEEK: Share the genius of Ron Smith. This oldies calendar
will give you an idea of why "Hey Baby, They Are Playing Our Song"
was such a popular oldies show. Ron would feed me unique
information about the artists, which made me sound soooo smart.
http://www.oldiesmusic.com/cal.htm
6-03-01
BACK IN THE
SADDLE: I can hardly
wait! Starting Monday, Bob Sirott and his lovely wife Marianne
Murciano will be guest hosts for Don Wade and (his wife) Roma on the WLS-AM (890) morning show from 5 AM - 9 AM. Well, on Wednesday, June
6th, I will be THEIR guest at 8:25 AM. Thanks for tuning in. www.wlsam.com
RUSSIAN FEDERATION:
And Romania checked in last week, which brings
our global total to 18 for the month of May. Dobge.
"IT AINT MY KIND OF
RADIO"
My kind of radio is magic coming out of its
speakers. Words that paint pictures which are remembered 30 -- 40 years
later.
My kind of radio doesn't undress women in the
studio, nor broadcast live the castration and slaughter of a baby pig as
background music to the morning coffee.
My kind of radio didn't screw around with the sales
department, sending an account executive to attract a new account, bring it on
board -- then watch it absorbed as a house account.
My kind of radio only used cue cards as a reminder
to add a tagline for a commercial.
My kind of radio didn't devise a scheme to con
record companies out of Megabucks in exchange for guaranteed play of a
particular record.
My kind of radio didn't own the booking agency, the
ticket agency, the venue that presents the artist -- in just about every major
market in America.
My kind of radio was concerned about a client's
results, spent as much time needed to write and produce meaningful commercials,
and cultivated relationships that spanned decades.
My kind of radio wasn't a group of 1200 stations
whose formats are somewhere between a bottle of homogenized milk and a CAN of
soup.
My kind of radio cared. About the
community. About the audience. About the format. About the
quality their talent delivered.
My kind of radio DIED in 1996.
... Art Roberts
LOOKING FOR INFORMATION ABOUT GRAHAME
RICHARDS: Last week I
received an e-mail from Grahame Richards daughter, Kim Richards, who is looking
for any and all information about her dad. He worked at a number of
stations, KOWH, WQAM, WFUN, KFAC, KIMN, etc..... was the Nat'l PD of Storz
Broadcasting back in the 60s. She went on to say "I was trying to
learn about his life and career, as I know so little about it."
Thank you, Kim Richards
And I received the following e-mail this
week: "Thank you for taking the time to respond to my e-mail. I
decided to build a website for my dad and I will link to your site from
it." Kim
YOU DON'T RADIO IF YOU DON'T
RDN: In just a few short weeks RDN (Radio Daily News) has become the
BUZZ of the industry. Larry Shannon delivers Radio info everyday
...
www.radiodailynews.com
A PRESENT FROM KEN
LEVINE: For those of
you interested in hearing an absolutely sensational jingle montage, this was
what aired on WABC New York as part of its "Rewind" special tribute to its
glorious musicradio days. It was produced by Jon Wolfert who outdid
himself.
http://www.pams.com/pams/sampler.html
Listen
and recapture the magic. Enjoy.
Ken
WHO DO YOU KNOW THAT CAN FIND A JOB IN ONE
WEEK: Nobody that I
know. So, let's give this is second try... Ron Smith wrote, "Did you ever
have one of those good news/bad news kind of days, Art? On Tuesday,
Arbitron released the February Web radio ratings and my company, RadioWave.com,
appeared for the first time, capturing seven of the top 75 spots. Six of those
channels were programmed by me, including #8-- "Hits Happen" (CHR). That same
day the company fell victim to the economy and let 30% of the staff go. You
guessed it. I'm part of the cutbacks.
With 8 ½ years as Music Director at Oldies 104.3 in
Chicago and 3 ½ years in music and research at Q-101 there (in its AC days) and
my dozen Internet-only channels at RadioWave racking up over 200,000 hours of
listening weekly on clients like Microsoft's MSN Chat Radio and Rolling
Stone.com, I'm hoping to find a stable dot.com (is there such an animal?) or
radio station that can utilize my skills. If you hear of anything, my home
number is (708) 448-7799 or E-mail me at ronsmith@interaccess.com.
Thanks. RON SMITH
Personal note: I have
known Ron for a long time and consider him a premiere music and Internet Radio
programmer. If QUALITY is an issue at your organization -- CALL or E-MAIL
Ron Today.... ART
MY PAL PERRY QUESTIONS
LIFE:
1. Why can't women put on mascara with
their mouth closed?
2. Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
3. Why is it necessary to nail down the
lid of a coffin?
4. Why is it that rain drops but snow
falls?
5. Why is it that to stop Windows 95,
you have to click on "Start"?
6. Why is it that when you're driving
and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
7. Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
8. Why is the third hand on the watch
called a second hand?
9. Why isn't there a special name for
the tops of your feet?
10. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: Thank you Steve
Eberhart. Inside you will find the
most comprehensive display of one of America's greatest Top 40 radio stations
ever! Not only was KLIF Radio enormously popular in Dallas and North
Texas, it was recognized around the country (and even the world) as an innovator
in broadcasting.
05/27/2001
WE ARE
EVERYWHERE YOU GO: This
month, in our Global Count, 16 countries checked-in, and Canada was a
runaway number one (more than doubling the visitors) followed by
Australia, Brazil, Sweden, Austria, Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland,
United Kingdom, and Italy rounding out the top ten. They were
followed by Japan, Mexico, Portugal, Argentina, Old Style Arpanet, and
France. Merci. Gracias. Thank You All.
HE'S LOOKING
FOR A HOME: Did
you ever have one of those good news/bad news kind of days, Art?
On Tuesday, Arbitron released the February Web radio ratings and my
company, RadioWave.com, appeared for the first time, capturing seven
of the top 75 spots. Six of those channels were programmed by me,
including #8-- "Hits Happen" (CHR). That same day the
company fell victim to the economy and let 30% of the staff go. You
guessed it. I'm part of the cutbacks.
With
8 ½ years as Music Director at Oldies 104.3 in Chicago and 3 ½ years
in music and research at Q-101 there (in its AC days) and my dozen
Internet-only channels at RadioWave racking up over 200,000 hours of
listening weekly on clients like Microsoft's MSN Chat Radio and
Rolling Stone.com, I'm hoping to find a stable dot.com (is there such
an animal?) or radio station that can utilize my skills. If you hear
of anything, my home number is (708) 448-7799 or E-mail me at ronsmith@interaccess.com.
Thanks.
RON SMITH
Personal note:
I have known Ron for a long time and consider him a premiere music and
Internet Radio programmer. If QUALITY is an issue at your
organization -- CALL or E-MAIL Ron Today.... ART
GROWING,
GROWING, GONE!!!
It hasn't been that long since the Telecommunications Bill (1996)
became an anvil over our heads. Since that time we have seen 75
broadcasting groups reduced to two. That is a growth of Biblical
proportions. The question now is "will the 2 become
1?"
RADIO'S NEW
MATH: This is
strictly hypothetical, but do you think 400 radio stations can be run
at an amortized cost of $10 an hour? With a permanent on air
staff of six people? Sit on the edge of this console and I'll
show you how.
Ten bucks an hour
translates to $240 a day. Seven days a week brings the weekly
cost to $1680. Or an annual cost to $87,360. Factor in the
400 markets and the operating budget is a little under 35 million.
Hire six of the heaviest talent you can and broadcast LIVE seven days
a week. All for $10 an hour.
Pie-In-The-Sky? It
is closer than you think!
CONSOLIDATION
HITS THE TOP FLOOR:
Kenneth O'Keefe, President and COO of Clear Channel Communications is
leaving the company at the end of June. He was one of the few
who survive the merger of AMFM and CCC, where Clear Channel picked up
400 stations for a mere 23 and half billion dollars. Randy
Michaels, CEO at clear Channel will pick up the slack left by
Kenneth's departure.
From there you can go to
"My Phone Call From Randy Michaels." That was one of many
responses since I emailed 60 friends with my feelings about the
consequences triggered by the FCC Act of 1996. They include
monopolistic practices that exploit runaway regulation, the loss of
hundreds of jobs by industry professionals, a sickening drop in
program quality, the lack of local service by stations. And how
these things are so hurtful to those of us who grew up loving radio.
"We knew radio. And this, sir, is not radio!"
Feel the same? Then
refer this web address to anyone interested in Freedom of Speech,
access to media, the defeat of monopolistic practices and ending this
out-and-out greed. The public is vaguely aware of the problem.
Should be, since radio has become so bland, predictable and lacking in
excitement and innovation. The just-born BRB is a grass
roots attempt to educate citizens that: First, it is the public
who owns the airwaves and secondly, it is fairly effortless for any
citizen to not only make local stations aware of one's DISsatisfaction
but to do something about it, including demanding to inspect to the
stations' public files, protesting stations' license renewals or even
applying for licenses.
The FCC cannot enforce
violations unless it is aware of them. This agency is as close
as your keyboard. They are more cooperative than you think. http://www.93khj.com/brb/index.html
exists because of you. Utilize it. Promote it."
R.J.
THE ULTIMATE
MEMORY LANE:
Ever wonder why we like remembering things? Probably because
reflecting back brings us to the realization that we have lived through
gentler and happier times.
ANOTHER JAZZ
GREAT JOINS THE XM SATTELITE RADIO TEAM:
Lee Abrams, Chief Programming Officer and XM satellite radio has
scored another homerun. Wynton Marsalis has joined the team.
Wynton is considered "the most outstanding jazz musician and
trumpeter of his generation." He also has won nine Grammy
awards, the Pulitzer prize for music, and numerous other awards.
Plus, he is my PERSONAL favorite. Oh, Lee -- Lee -- Lee, what
will you do next!
WORDS WORTH
REPEATIN' FROM MY PAL PERRY: "Why
are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden
stop?"
KEEP UP WITH
RADIO NEWS ON A DAILY BASIS: Thanks
to Larry Shannon we have a NEW feature. Daily reports about
Radio. Check in EVERY day. www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: If you are a
movie buff, you have to love this one. MOVIE MISTAKES IN OVER
1400 FLICKS -- including this years Academy Award Winner.
05/20/2001
JOHN ROOK LETS YOU KNOW WHAT CONDITION HIS CONDITION IS IN:
I'm writing you to let you
know that I have recently been diagnosed with a very serious condition
and there's no hope I will ever recover. The scientific world is
frantically searching for a cure. It seems to effect those new to
retirement.
This is an ailment many of us suffer from and may not as yet have been
diagnosed. However, now you may be able to discuss it with your
loved ones and try to explain what really happened to you all those
times you tried so hard to accomplish something and didn't.
It's called the "Butfirst
Syndrome."
It's like, when I decide
to do the laundry, I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on
the table. Okay, I'm going to do the laundry - Butfirst I'm
going to read the newspaper.
After that, I notice the
mail on the table. Okay, I'll just put the newspaper in the
recycle stack - Butfirst I'll look through that pile
of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid.
Now where's the checkbook?
Oops! There's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table.
I'm going to look for that checkbook - Butfirst I
need to put the glass in the sink.
I head for the kitchen,
look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I
put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there's the remote for the TV
on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it
away, Butfirst I need to water those plants.
Head for door and Ach!
Stepped on the cat. Dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put that
remote away and water the plants - Butfirst I need to
feed the dogs.
At the end of day:
Laundry is not done, Newspapers are still on the floor, Glass is still
in the sink, Bills are unpaid, Checkbook is still missing, And the
dogs ran outside with the remote control. AND, when I try to figure
out how come nothing got done all day, I'm baffled, because I KNOW I
was BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition
is serious.... And I should get help - Butfirst I
think I'll read all my e-mail! J.R.
"AND
ANOTHER THING -- YOU'RE A PAIN IN THE ASS"
Claude Hall writes: "This past week, as I ended my teaching
career at UNLV by telling a football player that he barely performed
well enough in a freshman English course to qualify for an F, I
realized, belatedly, that it was, indeed, time for me to step aside.
How could he possibly assume he was going to pass? He'd missed a full
month of classes and thought a page and a half of nonsense was enough
to suffice for an assignment that required 1,200 words and three
sources of researched information cited and documented. That, simply
put, is one of the major problems in America today; many high school
students are washed through, regardless of whether they've learned
anything or not (many times from teachers who aren't really qualified
to teach) and, obviously, now expect the same largess at American
universities. But why not? Most Ph.D.s in America don't know the
difference between forte and forté and a great many of them not only
didn't write their own doctoral dissertation, but didn't even do the
research required for it! Sometimes, the situation is even absurd. I
know one descendant of the so-called flower child generation who was
researching and writing dissertations for Ph.D. candidates at UNLV and
she didn't even have a bachelor's degree. Just FYI: A couple of
students at close of my last class thanked me and one black girl
thanked me for teaching her how to write and gave me a hug. At 68
years of age, a hug is a great compliment; I don't consider myself
very hugable these days. In many ways, I'm going to miss teaching.
There's an intense feeling of gratification when a student taps into
your philosophy and succeeds in the professional world...when they
develop not only the necessary skills or craftsmanship, but drive. I
have a good many ex-students out there who're doing well. I'm proud of
these. And I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to become a college
professor. I owe this to one of America's greatest radio
personalities--Bill Randle--who persuaded me to return to college to
earn a master's degree. For many years, I enjoyed my life at
Billboard, but when the magazine soured on me and I soured on what was
going on there, it was Bill Randle who eventually encouraged me carve
another career. But now it's time to hang it up. Not because of
a football player who needed to be taught an important lesson, but
because I find it increasingly difficult to teach that particular kind
of lesson as well as how to write. Life has, however, been good to
me." Claude Hall
(claudehall@yahoo.com)
THERE NEVER
WAS, NOR WILL THERE EVER BE, A 25 TO 54 DEMO:
Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a
list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's
incoming freshmen.
It also serves as proof
positive the demographic categories on which programmers base their
stations appeal are bogus.
Here is a portion of this
year's list:
1. The people
entering college in the Fall have no meaningful recollection of the
Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.
2. They were
prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
3. Black
Monday, 1987 is about as significant to them as the Great
Depression.
4. There has
been only one Pope.
5. Tianamen
Square means nothing to them.
6. Bottle caps
have always been screw off and plastic.
7. Atari
predates them, as do vinyl albums.
8. The
expression "You sound like a broken record" means nothing to
them. They have never owned a record player.
9. They have
likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.
10. The Compact Disc
was introduced when they were 1 year old.
11. They have always
had cable.
12. There have
always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was.
13. They were born
the year that Walkmans were introduced by Sony.
14. Roller skating
has always meant "inline" for them.
15. Jay Leno has
always been the host of the Tonight Show.
16. Popcorn has
always been cooked in the microwave.
17. They can't
imagine what hard contact lenses are.
18. Kansas, Chicago,
Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not rock bands.
19. There has always
been MTV.
*** Creating
a format with an appeal that spans 29 years is a monumental effort.
Attempting to grow an audience on either side of any given Demo is
even more futile. I predict the time is approaching where
formats will not be based on demographic categories, but rather on the
"compatibility of sound" within the format. (Geez,
that sounds familiar!) *** ART ROBERTS
(My thanks to Bob Dearborn
for submitting this year's list from Beloit College which inspired
this analogy.)
WE LOST
ANOTHER FRIEND: Dave Debo,
WGRZ TV - Buffalo, NY informs us that former Buffalo (WEBR, WBEN, WKBW)
news announcer Ed Little died this past Thursday (5/17). RIP
KNOCK KNOCK
... WHO'S THERE? Quincy.
Quincy Jones. Quincy, who helped shape American music from Jazz
to Hip Hop, has officially joined the XM Satellite Radio Artists
Family, embarking on a multi-year partnership to help build and
promote XM's revolutionary radio service. Quincy's won 26 Grammy
Awards. XM is getting a better lineup than the Dallas Cowboys
had during their dynasty days.
STAYING IN
STEP WITH MY PAL PERRY: "I
took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only
ten minutes."
KEEP UP WITH
RADIO NEWS ON A DAILY BASIS: Thanks
to Larry Shannon we have a NEW feature. Daily reports about
Radio. Check in EVERY day. www.radiodailynews.com
WEBBER OF THE WEEK: This week we have one
for the "anagram enthusiast." Plug-in the word
"dictionary" and see what happens!
RADIO
CONSOLIDATION 2000 ... THE JOHN ROOK PROPHECY:
Is the glass half empty or half filled? This has been a burning
question ever since radio stations have been gobbled up by one
another. Have the consolidations been good for radio and the
listener? One recent merger resulted in a "talent night"
to bring together executives in a show of solidarity and
companionship. This photo is a group of market managers singing the
jingles from 72 of their radio stations.
I'm afraid the horse
is out of the barn, as a result today's radio is totally in the
hands of the bean counters, after all they must find a way to pay
back all those dollars they spent on monopolizing. Was I
the only radio person back in 1996 that was shouting concern
the Telecommunications Act would bring about? The
fear of losing one's job kept everyone in radio quiet then, or they
just were not able to see the forest for the tree's.... JR
F Y I: FCC Leader. Michael Powell,
new FCC chairman, was profiled last month in Fortune magazine and
his pro-market moderate Republican views have shaped recent
decisions on further deregulation. The son of Colin Powell,
Michael was just four years out of law school and 34 years of age
when President Clinton appointed him to the FCC. Once upon a
time, the Commission was involved in the business of punishing those
who said potty words on the air. This is the era of media
convergence and the Internet. The agency is scrutinizing
billion-dollar telecom merges or auctioning off spectrum for
cellular phone service.
Michael joined the army
and rose to the rank of first lieutenant. His military life
was cut short in 1987 when his jeep flipped over during a training
exercise. The accident left him with a shattered pelvis.
At 24, he spent a year in the hospital undergoing a series of
operations. By the early 1990s he was at Georgetown studying
law.
THERE ARE ALWAYS
TWO SIDES!!!! Andrew Ashwood brings us
ROUND TWO.
"I'll probably get
torched, by some, for doing this, but I can't keep quiet. What
I'm about to respond, let me make this perfectly clear...has NOTHING
to do with anyone else at CLEAR CHANNEL, but ME. I have the
privilege of being at "Ground Zero" of CLEAR CHANNEL, as
the OM/PD of the Flagship Properties (including the namesake of the
company, NewsRadio1200 WOAI), here in San Antonio, so I have had a
front row seat to the on going evolution of my company.
First off, I know some
of you and in fact have worked with a couple of you. I know
that through the years, you may have worked for either Clear
Channel, JACOR, or AMFM. Maybe, you competed in one of their
markets, or you might still do business with a Clear Channel
property, in some form or fashion. One way or the other, you
are aware of the company and how it has grown.
I'm not going to bore
anyone by going over point by point, of RON'S concerns or the
SALON.com article, but I want to merely ask a few questions and add
a few (obvious) observations...
RON, you say
you've never met RANDY, yet you take one article off the internet
and you are ready to indict him and all of those who work in the
Clear Channel radio division. WHY? Do you actually know for a
fact, that all, or some of the alleged discretion's are TRUE or NOT?
(i.e. "recently acquired" WHAS, Louisville has been a part
of the CCR group since the 80's, hardly "recently
acquired", now is it? Plus how come the article never
talks about a division within Clear Channel, called "CLEAR
CAUSE" that is specifically designed to focus on Cause
marketing projects, including the National Child I D Program, just
to name one on going effort)
As long as RANDY has
been in the business, when has he, along with his management team,
NOT played to WIN, through Creative, out of the box, Staff,
Programming, and Promotions? I can't help but believe that was
one of the major assets, that attracted our company to merge with
them!
As long as you are going
to go after Clear Channel for doing what is the legal right as a
business to do, and that is grow through strategic acquisitions,
that make $en$e, when building SHAREHOLDER VALUE, which as a public
company, is next to protecting the license, servicing our clients,
and creating or accessing the most COMPELLING PRODUCTS, PROGRAMMING
and TALENT, 24/7, why aren't you targeting Major Multi Media
conglomerates like, VIACOM/CBS-Infinity, DISNEY-ABC, GE-NBC, and
AOLTimeWarner, as well?
YES, things have changed
some, as a PRODUCT MANAGER, I am constantly factoring in how, every
decision, I make impacts REVENUE and ultimately...THE BOTTOMLINE!
As a young buck CHR P D, I rarely, if ever, thought about that.
Times have changed and unless we keep up with the BUSINESS
REALITIES, the stations I'm responsible will fail, and people
(employees, clients, listeners, and shareholders) will suffer.
Have there been HUMAN CASUALTIES? Damn straight, but that has
always been the case, especially in an EGO Based environment like
ours. Gees, I don't want to count all the times, I've been
tossed out the door. But like most of you, I love this
business and can't imagine doing anything else, so I picked myself
up and fought for another chance to Practice and Improve MY
PASSION!
Do I like everything
that is going on in my company...I'M NOT SURE, yet. All I know
is that three and a half years ago, MARK MAYS, our President,
encouraged and implored us to be ready to "EMBRACE
CHANGE", so that's what we are doing. It's not always
easy and I for one, think, not all the rules for this type of
business environment have been written in stone, but then again,
what the heck are we absolutely sure of?
RON, I respect your
passion, obviously it's that type of passion that led to you
becoming one of our industry's TRUE LEGENDS and you touched allot of
people who also shared that passion and your vision for great radio.
That PASSION is still alive and being practiced by the people I
regularly interface within CLEAR CHANNEL, with the complete
endorsement and encouragement of the powers above, whether you want
to believe it or not!
Finally, I reiterate,
that I'm writing this for myself and no one else within my company
encouraged me to do so, because you see, not everything I do every
day has to be signed off by some suit, as long as I believe in what
I'm doing and/or saying!
I can tell you for a
fact, that since JACOR merged with us and the new corporate
structure was put in place, all I have been offered was help,
through the vast resources that a company like ours, continues to
gather, to improve the quality of my Products and ways to help our
staff grow and therefore, we have a chance to make an even BIGGER
Revenue & Ratings impact. HELLO...BETTER SOUNDING RADIO
STATIONS, normally lead to MORE $$$$'s! What's wrong with that
philosophy?
Does consolidation mean
less jobs? In a $en$e yes, but what it really means, that those of
lesser talent/ability, will either have to find ways to improve,
adjust, or adapt or rethink their future as a radio professional, in
order to make room for those more qualified. HARSH...but true, but
when hasn't this been a part of our business? Another person's
opinion... THANKS for your consideration.
DARE To Be Great!
Andrew Ashwood
Operations Manager/Program Director
Clear Channel Radio/San Antonio
NewsRadio1200 WOAI
SportsRadio760 T