(home)
Send your questions to: Art@ArtRoberts.com

Q. "How old were you when you first went into radio. I am 15 and my dad says I am too
young. It would only be on Sundays from 6 in the morning to 1 in the afternoon. What do
you think? MATT

A. "Maybe I should start this with 'Dear Dad' but your e-mail deserves a personal reply. 
I was 18, in college, and started by playing parts in radio plays produced by the
Neumann Club. That led to a part time job at the station during my senior year. I often
wished I had an earlier start, but being brought up in NYC leaves little hope for part time
jobs at big city stations.

I don't know what your Dad's objections are ... so get a yellow pad and draw a line down
the center. On one side write, "Dad's Objections" and let him list them all. On the other
side of the page write, "Matt's Future." Then list the following:

"Working for a radio station will teach me many valuable lessons that will build my
confidence and work ethic for future goals." 

1. Responsibility. I will need to acquire the technical knowledge to turn on the
transmitter, take precise readings, become computer literate, follow a format, and run all
the inventory (commercials) scheduled.

2. Timeliness. Every station has inserts that are required to run in real time. These
include newscasts; special features of interest, e.g. Fishing show; Religious broadcasts;
Local political issues. I must see to it that all are presented at the prescribed time.

3. Entertainment. It will become my responsibility to present the music in a flow and
pace that is attractive to the audience while following the format.

4. Residual. The experience I get from this job can be carried over to another full or part
time job in radio while attending a college in the future. 

Please let me know how you did ... ART

Q.   “As a teen growing up in the late 60's in southern Kansas, I used to listen to WLS at night, after KLEO 1480 in Wichita went off at sunset.  My big memory of WLS was the ten jillion commercials for Mr. Norm's Grand Spaulding Dodge at 3300 Grand Avenue where you could buy a brand new 1967/8/9/70 Dodge Charger super-tuned & analyzed for $2599 (or whatever).  My question is: Is Mr. Norm's still around?

Another memory was hearing the temperatures around the Chicago area in winter.  It's 90 below at Midway, etc.  Now living in Dallas Ft Worth, TX area, people think it's cold at 35 degrees.”   DAVID, Watauga, TX

A.   “Mr. Norm sold his ownership in Grand Spaulding Dodge in 1977.  He was the King of what Muscle Car Fans in the sixties dreamt about -- Max-Wedge, Hemi, Magnum, SixPack, 440 Dart GSS, Supercharged 340's and Dyno Tuned.

Norm Kraus began his automotive career selling used cars with his brother Len from a gas station their father Harvey owned in 1948. They were located at the corner of Grand and Spaulding in Chicago.  Fourteen years later they became Grand Spaulding Dodge.  Mr. Norm made history in 1964 when he formed his racing team, sponsored dances for his sports club, and started advertising on WLS.  His sales DOUBLED, and continued to double every year for the next seven years.  Grand Spaulding Dodge became Number One, the largest volume Dodge dealership in the world.  Their fleet department became so large that it supplied all of the Chicago Police Department cars.

If you remember Mr. Norm's ads in the sixties, most of today's car dealer efforts are pretty wimpy.   ART  

Q. My favorite singer in the fifties and sixties was Bobby Rydel(sp) and I would like to know what happened to him. Is he still singing? RALPH 

A. Yes he is. As far as I know, Bobby Rydell is still performing with his neighborhood pals Frankie Avalon and Fabian. Bobby has always been one of my favorites. When I was at WKBW, Buffalo, he and his manager Frankie Day came over to our house for a Barbecue. Bobby even dated my sister. 

You can find out more about one of the top 50’s / 60’s Teen Idols at www.bobbyrydell.com 

Wanna hear somethin’ scary? Next April 26th (2002) Bobby Rydell will be 60. ART

Q.   "Weren't you sued for playing The Pledge of Allegiance on WLS?”   Tom 

 A.   "Yes, someone in Kankakee, IL sued both WLS and me, claiming they had the right NOT to be subjected to listening to America's Pledge of Allegiance as presented in the Red Skelton recording.  We turned it over to ABC Legal and I never heard about the outcome.  I also never stopped playing the recording."   ART 

Thanks to TOM we have a copy of the words ...  

As a schoolboy, one of Red Skelton's teachers explained the words and meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance to his class.  Red Skelton later wrote down, and eventually recorded, his recollection of this lecture.  It is followed by a personal observation. 

"I - - Me; an individual; a committee of one.  Pledge - - Dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity.  Allegiance - - My love and my devotion.  To the Flag - - Our standard; Old Glory -- a symbol of Freedom.  Wherever she waves there is respect, because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts ‘Freedom is everybody's job.’  United - - That means that we have all come together.  States - - Individual communities that have united into forty-eight great states.  Forty-eight individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose.  All divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that is love for country.  And to the Republic - - Republic -- a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern.  And government is the people -- and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.  For which it stands One Nation - - One Nation -- meaning, so blessed by God.  Indivisible - - Incapable of being divided.  With Liberty - - Which is Freedom; the right of power to live one's own life, without threats, fear, or some sort of retaliation.  And Justice - - The principle, or qualities, of dealing fairly with others.  For All - - For All -- which means, boys and girls, it's as much your country as it is mine."  

"And now, boys and girls, let me hear you recite the Pledge of Allegiance:"  

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands; one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.  

"Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country, and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance:  ‘Under God.’  Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said THAT is a prayer, and that would be eliminated from schools, too?"  

Red Skelton  

American Comedian

1913 - 1997

Q. "Just picked up on your book via a Radio World article. I was listening in downstate Illinois (Paxton), when LS switched over to Top 40, which I think was in "59. The station was bigger than life and all of us kids listened in East Central Illinois. I remember a parody song the station did of "Hillbilly Heaven", and it used the WLS jocks instead of the C&W stars of the orginal. I remember it to this day....Sam Hollman, Gene Taylor, Art Roberts, Mort Crowley and I think Dick Biondi. Do you remember this? At any rate, my interest in WLS as a kid finally got me started in the radio business in ' 71, and I just semi-retired after 30 years in the biz. One of the highlights of my career was that I got to work with Gene Taylor about 8-9 years ago and with Ralph Beaudin, here in Omaha. Gene had wonderful stories about those days in Chicago and of course, so did Ralph. Ralph came back to Omaha to finish his career and was my GM until he became so sick. Gene worked here as well as News Director, having moved here from California. It was so neat to hear these guys talk about those days at WLS. I also remember Clark Webber, Ron Riley's Raiders, Lujack and so many more. What a great radio station that was! We'll probably never ever see that kind of radio again, sadly. Anyway, I'm going to buy the book! Thanks, Art! MARTY

Q.  Thanks for writing that book, Thinkin' Out  Loud.  I've enjoyed the inside insights into an industry I don't know much about.  You wrote some things in some of the chapters about "consultants" who have apparently narrowed the play lists at stations.  I noticed this was becoming the norm back in the early '70s, and guessed something like this was happening.  There was a 50,000 watt giant in Birmingham, WVOK, that had a kind of rural flavor to its format and some of the records they played didn't seem to show up much on other stations.  Some examples back in the mid-'60s were Ahab the Arab, In the Misty Moonlight, Haunted House, Wolverton Mountain, and a host of rockabilly tunes that had a country air about them.  Around 1968 a new 10,000 watt AM station began broadcasting in Huntsville, Alabama, and they played some tunes in 1969 and 1970 while I was working for NASA that are practically non-existent on the air today: Pretty World, Jean, A Boy Named Sue, Lay Lady Lay, When I Die (not And When I Die), I'm Gonna Make You Mine, What's the Use Of Breaking Up, Tracy, Something In the Air, Smile A Little Smile For Me, Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, Ruben James, Evil Woman, Don't Play Your Games With Me, Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, Early In the Morning, Venus, Winter World of Love, Ticket to Ride (Carpenters' first record), One Tin Soldier, Come Saturday Morning, Love or Let Me Be Lonely, Vehicle, For the Love of Him, Little Green Bag, Puppet Man, The Long and Winding Road, It's All In the Game, Cinnamon Girl, Gimme Dat Ding, The Girl's Song, Cecelia, Reach Out and Touch (Somebody's Hand), Mississippi, Snowbird, Rubber Duckie (that's right, from Jim Henson), Hi-De-Ho, Groovy Situation, It's A Shame, Joanne, Out In the Country, Lola, Yellow River, Gypsy Woman, Montego Bay, I Think I Love You, Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?, Stoney End, River Deep - Mountain High, One Man Band (I blew out my car speakers on that one driving home from work!  They were dry-rotted, though.), Rose Garden, Mr. Bojangles (my old 45 has the interview at the start), Carolina In My Mind, etc.

 Boy, what somebody could do with a few bucks, a little imagination, and a lot of freedom!  Am I on the right track?    L.G.
 
A.   "I would say you have it all figured out.  Now, if a person NOT in the radio profession can spot the boredom that is predominant in most of today's formats, why do the majority of current programmers and consultants turn a deaf ear to the blandness that exists?  Hmmmmmm??"   ART  

Q. "Art do you remember Madura's in Whiting. Back in the 60s I worked for Mr. Madura as a 8 yr old cleaning the place for the Sat night festivities. He and his wife were great people. Anyway, one night you were the MC and you gave me a 45 if I remember correctly of the Trolls, "Every Day and Every Night" which I though was cool . Yes, that was a long time ago wasn't it. I just thought I'd see if you remembered Madura's !!!!!!!" 
STEVE

A. Boy, do I ever. I had many appearances at Madura's Danceland, and always enjoyed performing before a very enthusiastic crowd. In fact, I loved to appear anywhere in Indiana. You know Steve, there aren't many people that started working when they were eight years old. I bet you have a lot of stories to share. The old ballrooms of yesterday each have a history and most of them date back to the big bands. Too bad we don't have treasurers like that to share today. ART

Q. "How come there are so many loudmouthed -- foul mouthed morning shows on radio? There is nothing worth listening to in my city and whenever I find a disc jockey I like, he or she disappears in a few months. Art, radio sucks." B.W.

A. Amen brother, amen. Humor is more than words -- it is a combination of using eye contact, facial expressions, a relatable story, and a victim. All humor has a victim! That is what makes you laugh. It triggers that little voice inside who says "that could've been me." Radio doesn't allow for eye contact and facial expressions, so the shock jock's of
today choose to EMBARRASS their listeners with four letter words, reference to body parts, making fun of size and appearance, etc. It is very hard to do humor on radio. Best to stick with relatable stories and hope for a smile. The day will come when radio stations finally discover that "audience entertainment" does not end at 9 AM. And the
"Regis Live" approach to comedy produces "loyalty." ART

Q. Art, I have been trying to verify the exact date of the Disc Jockey Association (DJA) convention which was held in Florida sometime between 1959 and 1961. It got media attention for being rather out of control and was a close prelude to the payola scandals, I believe. What city? Miami? I think this may have been the first and last DJA convention.  In my search, I hit upon your site. I will be spending a lot of time reading it. Marvelous material here. Thank you. Freeman

A. Miami is the city that hosted the Disc Jockey convention in 1959. I think the date was around July 18. A couple of thousand radio professionals attended, along with representatives of every record label of that time. To me, the highlight of the meeting (s) was an address given by Gordon McClendon who opened by thanking the members of the committee, and then adding, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Ex Employees... " It brought the house down -- half the people there worked for Gordon at KLIF through the years.  The live entertainment was outstanding. George Shearing and Peggy Lee not only entertained the crowd, but their performance was recorded and everyone who attended received a copy of this recording in a very impressive boxed set. When the convention was over, the headlines in the Miami paper read "Booz, Broads, Bribery." Witch hunters came out of the woodwork ART 

Q. I read and enjoy your website every week. Thank you. My question though is WHY do you put forth so much effort, news and advice without asking for anything in return? (ANONYMOUS)

A. Everything is not done for money. Looking back, I did not work any harder for a radio station just because they paid me a higher salary. In fact, I probably expended more energy in smaller markets than in major cities because small towns allow a person to hone their craft -- while larger markets expect to hire a polished personality. There were a lot of "greats" along the way. Great managers. Great program directors.  Great talent. They all turned out to be "lessons in life." Sharing these experiences and applying them to the business model of today perpetuates my dedication to an industry (Radio) that offers few training grounds and even fewer sounding boards. Filling in the holes in both these areas with meaningful anecdotes and advice is a service I gladly offer. Now, I have some advice for you. "Proudly sign your name to everything you write." 
ART ROBERTS

Q. I have a mint condition of The WLS Personality Magazine .... Do you think it's worth anything ? Thanks, J. G.

A. The first thing I did was to check e-Bay, but they did not have a personality magazine listed. Not to worry. I sent an e-mail to my friend Richard (He always finds the answer) and this is what he said: "I saw one being auctioned on ebay several months ago. I don't know what the final sale price was, but the bidding had gotten up to at least $75. If I can find out more, I'll let you know." Actually, there is no fixed price for a collectible, especially one in mint condition. Usually, the longer one holds on to a memorabilia item the greater the possibility it will increase in
value. ART

Q Art- Did you ever know Art Nelson who was on KLIF in 1956-1958 (I think in the 3-6pm shift)? Do you know what happened to him? P.G.

A. I worked with Art Nelson on KLIF in 1956. I remember him as a very warm and friendly person. Dallas was my first major market and Art took me under his wing and helped me to fit in with my first structured format. Like so many who started out as a Gordon McLendon KLIFdweller, he went on to bigger and better things. I met Art again when he worked with WJJD in Chicago during the '60s. He finished out of his career in Los Angeles at two premium radio stations -- KLAC & KMPC, and was known as "The Silver Fox. " Art suffered with Parkinson's disease for 12 years and died on Oct. 15th, 1999. He was 73. ART 

Q.   I have been in radio for five years and my goal is to be a personality in one of the Top 10 markets.  People tell me that I have what it takes and all I need is to catch a lucky break.  I keep working on my presence on the air, and followed your advice to tape every show and listen back to see where I can improve my delivery.  Do you have any other suggestions?    W. B. 

A.   Sounds to me like you are on the right road.  Since I have never heard you it would be hard to suggest what you might do to reach another rung on the ladder.  I can tell you what not to do.  Don't try to be like anyone else you have listened to... especially the shock jock's that appear to dominate the morning audience.  Don't tell jokes... acquire a knack for telling humorous stories.  It is very difficult to make an unseen audience double up in laughter and fall off their chair.  Besides, most of the audience will be driving at the time and that could be very dangerous.  Talk about real things -- issues that are important to the general public.  Can you name the top 10 issues that are of interest your audience?  Where are the top five dream vacation spots?  Did you watch Survivor every week and incorporate each episode in the course of your show?  Are you getting my drift?  To be a personality you have to understand your audience and keep a half step ahead of them.  You also have to understand yourself and never try to be somebody you're not.  Make them smile.  Make them happy.  And make them come back tomorrow.   ART

RESPONSE TO A QUESTION:

Hi, Art!

Just went online recently, and have finally figured out the whole e-mail thing. In fact, you're the lucky recipient of my FIRST e-mail message (don't you feel special?!).

Anyway, this is in response to L.B.'s request on your Q & A page. The Susan Christie song "I Love Onions" is INDEED on CD! (I should know; I own a copy) It's on a CD titled "Golden Goofers", a collection of '40s, '50s and '60s novelty tunes, which is part of Time-Life's "Your Hit Parade" series. You can order it from Collector's Choice Music, which is based in suburban Chicago. You can find them at www.ccmusic.com. They specialize in rare, imported and just plain hard-to-find music on CD.

Found your website from listening to your phone interview with Jay Marvin on WLS back in July, and it was a real kick to hear you again! Your book sounds very interesting, and, yes, I DO plan to order a copy. Hope all is well with you.

Yours in radio,
K.S.

Q.       I am 45+.  If I wanted to become a pharmacist, I could do it. If I wanted to become a bricklayer, I could find a way. If I wanted to become [yipes!] a lawyer, I'd find my school. But radio and TV broadcasting? Not a chance. It seems like a closed-club for the unwashed and inexperienced. There must be a way in...but that's a well-maintained secret.  I applied, about a year ago, at a station in Cheyenne. The ad stressed the need for a production manager who would be able "to learn on the job." My resume was rejected a full 2 weeks before the deadline.  I have a broadcasting degree as well as a teaching degree.  So?   G.P.C.  

A.   Age has always been a factor.  I went to work for WLS when I was 29 years old.  I stayed with the station for 10 years.  When my tenure was over I applied at a major station in Chicago.  They told me that I was too old for the position they had in mind.  The guy that they finally hired was 29 years old.  So, I went to work for station in San Francisco. Young Turks always win.  Actually, radio and television is not a closed club.  If there is a secret to finding a job, it is networking.  I know you have tried your best.  The bitter tone of your 2 e-mails tells me you might be getting discouraged.  There will be a door opening for you.  Believe in yourself above all.  Have you tried educational TV?  There is also a public television station in your city.  Knock on their door(s) and don't settle for anything less than an interview!  Your broadcasting degree and teaching degree, along with your interest in production, should at least raise an eyebrow.  Good luck, my friend.   ART

Q.       Two AC stations service this small area and two Country - one of which I happen to be Station Manager.  Recently, the "other guys" decided to rename EVERY contest our station has aired for years, and dropped their satellite network to also adopt OUR slogan - I realize there is no copywrite on it, but it's creating confusion for prospective sponsors who are approached & think THEY are US!!  (Is this making sense?)  I have heard that imitation is the best form of flattery, but I can't seem to counter our programming as an adoptee at the other station.  Please offer your solutions, if there are any.  Thanks!  R.O.

Q. I've been told by a few people in radio that I should go into it but I don't have the slightest idea how.  I actually have a degree in computer science and an MBA doing sales and marketing for a computer consulting firm so I'm doing ok but frankly I'm kind of bored and I'd love to change and perhaps do something I was meant to do like a creative radio show.  T.P.

A.   Statistically, people can look forward to changing careers seven times before retirement.  This is based on the rapid advances made in various technologies.  So, T.P., you are keeping in step with the times.  With your background and positive attitude, a door will open somewhere.  The groups that own and run radio stations are usually very large conglomerates, and always in the need of qualified people.  Don’t be afraid to ask for a career path.  Where you start within an organization is not nearly as important as reaching your goal(s).  Have them in mind from day one.  From the tone of your letter, and your work experience, I would suggest you aim for a management position.  Network.  Knock on doors.  Set your goals.  And please stay in touch. Good hunting.  ART    

Q.  Got so much feedback from last weeks Q&A, I wrote to a friend:  “Last weeks Q&A was about teaching broadcasting.  Since you have years in the classroom, plus major market radio experience, I'd like to hear your input.”  ART

A.   Dear Art, for as long as I have been teaching, I always told students that they should never limit their interests in radio.  Keep an open mind. Managers want employees with a base of wider knowledge.  Lacking from students today is the passion, and extra effort put forth in obtaining more knowledge about radio.  I am always concerned about how they react when an older person says that.  It seems to be similar to the phrase, "when I was a kid we used to walk five miles to school."  I am finding some students who have an overall interest in more than just one phase of radio and will do the extra work to gain more
knowledge.  I say some.  In a performance class where they actually do a radio program, many don't want to do the "prep" that goes with it and would rather wing it and hope for the best, which is usually the worst.  I talk about THEATER
 OF THE MIND all the time, and play some air checks of jocks with bits that draw wonderful audio pictures.  In lecture classes, some get bored with the various departments that make the plant function overall.  Sales, marketing, production, etc.  And, from what I am hearing today, the trend has been a ton of production and "audio pictures" to promote the station.  In the final analysis, it is like any other profession.  Although you have the degree, it does not necessarily mean you will get the gig in the field you choose.  Work in related industries and internships are the best way to go while you are in school and that may mean sacrifices.  At this point, I believe that the ones who have the passion, the desire and the creative minds will succeed and
get the job.  I like to be positive about the job situation.  I compare it to other industries that have gone through consolidation, downsizing or rightsizing.  B.B.

Q  I've been teaching a broadcast management class for the past 18 years, and I am severely distressed at what's happening in broadcasting -- especially on the radio side.  The business has become a commodity, with very few original-programming ideas surfacing, and nobody (in college) wants to go into radio any more.  It's tragic.  There are almost no on-air jobs available, save for a few very small stations in markets of 2,000 or 3,000.  And the pay is lousy!  I guess it's for us old cats to sit back and complain about how bad things are now, compared to our day, when they were great!   J. S. 

A.   Communications majors need to be taught to survive in the broadcasting industry that exists today. Yes, Radio HAS become a commodity.  A “digital” can of beans that is the same nationwide.  But it also has become an industry of very large corporations who offer big opportunities to qualified individuals.  Students in broadcasting today should minor in business and marketing.  Become immersed in the power of the Internet.  Keep abreast of the evolving changes in digital and satellite technology.  Learn the art of managing people.  Accept the fact that being a skilled on-air performer requires the understanding of a variety of formats.  Learning the history of radio is of no value.  Grasping the Future of Radio is most important.  Remember - Never stop learning.  Always keep an eye on the horizon.   ART

Q.   I have dreamed of being a Disk Jockey for the past 15 years and it will not go away.  My perfect set-up would be to have a day job, and then to have a part time slot on the weekend.  Broadcasting school costs so much these days.  Do you absolutely have to attend broadcasting school to get a job as a disk jockey?  Please give me any advise,  Thanks,  K.F.

A.   No, you do not have to go to a broadcasting school to get a job in radio.  You do need to be computer-literate, as most of today’s programming is stored and executed from a computer hard drive.  And you will also need to gain some experience that would enable you to master the mechanics needed to perform.  How do we do this?  Find a small station in your area and talk with the manager. Tell him / her about your desire to do weekends, and offer your services as an intern.  That way you will be able to learn the control board, help out in production, and gain on the job training.  Live your dream, K.F., Live your dream.  ART

Q.   I have a chance to be an Intern at one of our local radio stations.  I won’t be paid, but I will earn three credits for working a full semester.  I am a communications major, and have this question for you.  Is it worth it?  Or is it better to get a part time job and pocket the money?  T.G.

 A.   Never met anyone who learned the Broadcasting business from behind a Burger King counter.  You have an opportunity to get first hand experience, which is a lot more valuable than minimum wage.  Walk into that station with an open mind, and like a sponge, absorb everything you can.  Besides, this is the best way to determine if Radio is what you really want to pursue.  Just promise me one thing, T.G.  You won’t accept the position unless you are willing to give it 100 %.  There are people out there that would Kill for the chance to become an Intern at a commercial station.  ART

Q.   Thank you for the weekly updates on the SAG and AFTRA strike.  I detect a special passion in your words, and was wondering if you were ever involved in a national strike?   W.L.

A   Yes, I was involved in an AFTRA strike in the 60’s.  We were required to walk out in support of the news writers of New York City.  I had a couple of arguments against this “show of solidarity.”  First, at WLS we had one and a half news writers. (One full time and one part time.)  Second, we were in the middle of a very crucial rating period.  But, as a member of the AFTRA board in Chicago, I had to lend my support.  Did it cause hardships?  You bet it did.  We had just bought a new house, which wasn’t quite ready, and sold our old one. That put all our “stuff” packed into a garage, and the seven of us in a motel suite, which wasn’t cheap … even at 60’s prices.  One day I was required to picket the Merchandise Mart, which was NBC’s home.  (They never let you picket your own station.  Why?  Beats me!)  So, there I was, striking for a cause that would never benefit me or my family, walking in front of one of the entrances to a building I didn’t work in, with a guy I never met, who tells me he does about two commercial jobs a year, while I am envisioning our ratings going down the drain … all for some news writers in New York that will never know of my sacrifice.  That is probably where the ‘’Passion in my words” comes from.   ART

Q.   There was a song you used play that only had eleven words.  Can you tell me the name of that song?   R.N. 

A.   Actually, I did not remember, so RN sent a second e-mail:  “If I said it was by the Anita Kerr Singers aka The Little Dippers, you'd remember ..."Hold me, kiss me, whisper sweetly that you'll love me... Forever.”  You could write that song on the back of a chewing gum wrapper.    ART

Q.   Quick question.  A visitor to the WLS History site had a very good question that I realized I couldn't answer.  What was the reason behind the name "Silver Dollar" Survey.  I thought well, maybe it was because the singles cost about a dollar.  But I knew that was too much for the time.  And there wasn't 100 records on the survey, so what was it?  I'll pass on the answer.  S.C.

 A.   I am stumped.  So I sent out an SOS to a bunch of people whom I knew would Know.  Dale Shimp, my engineer for ten years.  Ray Van Steen, better known as Peter Fugitive.  Ron Riley, better known as Ringo Ron.  Mike Elder, current PD at WLS.  John Rook, programmer extraordinaire.  They were also stumped.  Oh, there were a variety of theories, but no one knew for sure.  HELP US OUT.  Anyone coming up with the correct “Final Answer” will get a personal Video E-mail.  Aint that a kick in the head!   ART      

 Q.       I met you seventeen years ago at a Pat Martin Radio Seminar in Sacramento.  You were the guest speaker, and I adopted almost all that you said from then on.  Pat asked you how long it took you to prepare for a show, and you answered “four hours or more every day.”  I used to do that.  I say, “used to” because in our format today it’s me and a computer screen.  What is the use?   V.H.    

A.   “Get outa town!”  Whatdya mean, “What’s the use?”  The listener is the use.  It never was “how Much was said.”  The quality of What was said separated one personality from another.  Eventually you will open the microphone.  The words that follow benefit from preparation.  Once there was an old Egyptian Pharaoh who summoned his scribes to write down all the “wisdom in the world.”  Months later they returned with a pile of parchment, and the Pharaoh said it was good.  Then he ordered his scribes to reduce this wisdom to only one page.  Months later they returned with a single page of parchment.  And the Pharaoh said it was good.  And then ordered his scribes to reduce “all the wisdom in the world” to one sentence.  Months later they returned with a parchment that had but one line that reflected “all the wisdom in the world.”  It read:  There ain't no free lunch!”   ART

Q.   My friends think I am crazy to have resigned from my job at K___.  It offered everything I had worked for: top salary, responsibility, and the opportunity to work for an industry leader.  The long hours and tension finally got to me and I found myself asking the old Peggy Lee question, “Is That All There Is?”  So, I quit.  I am not sure where I will finally land (maybe Utah), but I feel good about what I did.  Are my friends right?     K.B. 

A.   You know they aren’t – but I bet they ARE envious.  One of my favorite marketing books is by Faith Popcorn called  “The Popcorn Report.”  You are not the only person to cash in their corporate chips to find an easier lifestyle.  Faith calls it “Cashing Out.”  Doing something you enjoy, and doing it on YOUR terms.  I have a friend who was an engineer.  He worked for a huge consulting firm.  His job was very demanding, and required him to be away for long periods of time.  The fat paycheck left no time for family, friends, or his true passion – which was fly-fishing.  So he threw in the towel.  Moved to the mountains.  Carved out a living teaching people to cast a rod and tie a fly.  And guiding them to a record catch.  He never looked back.  Lemme know where you land.  ART           

Q.   Art - how come these large Radio groups are allowed to control a bunch of cities, dictate what formats can or cannot be heard, and make you feel like a robot working a shift?  What is their ultimate goal?   B.D.   

A.   Market Share, my friend, market share, and it all started in February, 1996, when President Clinton signed a telecommunications bill.  One little paragraph in the new law changed Radio forever.  Radio owners were not limited to owning 20 FM and 20 AM Radio stations nationwide, anymore.  The sky was the limit.  So they snapped up every Mom and Pop operation they could.  And the big got bigger.  How BIG is BIG?  If Clear Channel Communications gets the nod from the FCC to absorb AMFM this year, they will own over 800 radio stations.  Is this good or bad?  Depends which side of the wire your working.  Where once Radio serviced their individual market, they now service a conglomerates debt.  Thanks to digital and satellite capabilities, one Disc Jockey can do shows in a half dozen markets simultaneously.  One manager can oversee a string of stations.  One format can be heard in hundreds of markets.  If this sounds like “Doom and Gloom” to you, you’re on the wrong side of the wire.  Play the game with today’s rules, and you will carve out a rewarding career.  ART

Q.   I have only had one job in radio and have been at the same station for 7 years.  It’s not like I planned it that way, I have never had any offers.  I like the people at the station and I like living in this town.  My only problem is not having enough money to make ends meet.  One of our sponsors offered me a construction job that would double my salary.  What would you do Art?   I.B.

A.   You’ve gotta go with your heart.  I bet you see yourself parking a new 4-wheel drive pick-up at the job site.  And having a couple of beers with the guys after work.  Nothing wrong with that.  You might even do weekends at the station, just to keep your headset from warping.  If that’s what you want, go for it.  Just remember a newly paved road doesn’t go on forever.  There are always bumps.  Always.  Construction jobs have down times, and that means lay offs.  No one ever said Radio was a great paying job.  YOU have to chase after the money.  If you decide to live in this town, and chose to stay at the station, consider starting a mobile DJ business.  The pay for that is two or three hundred a night.  Hell, everybody in town must know you by now.  It’s a natural.  That’s what I would do.  ART 

Q.   Hope you are progressing daily in your therapy program.  Art, I trust that you keep a positive outlook and always believe in your ability to OVERCOME the setbacks you've had to go through.  No one ever said life was fair did they Art?   D.C.

A.  Well, if anyone did say “Life was fair,” you can bet they never bought a lottery ticket.  But it has been a while between “Progress Reports” so, for those who care, here goes:  Since my stroke back in October ’99, I have heard from many people who have shared the same mishap, and others who have had horrific problems that dwarf anything I have experienced.  The word “fair” never came up.  The word “positive” was used every time.  Attitude is the best way to whip any problem. Therapy becomes a long-term effort that lacks a time schedule, and I find that my progress comes in small increments, but it IS moving forward.  My personal goal is to play another round of golf.  Will I break a hundred?  Dunno.  But the odds have to be better than I’ll get for any lottery ticket!  … ART   

Q.  Sometimes I feel I am in the wrong business.  I hate to fire anyone, and my manager wants me to get rid of a Disc Jockey who has become a good friend.  His ratings are very good; he is cooperative and a team player.  Somehow, he has pissed off the boss.  Now what do I do?  W.F.

A.   YOU NEED TO LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR MANAGER.  Find out what makes him / her tick.  Do this by setting up a meeting and discussing short and long-term goals.  You are the Program Director, but in your talk(s) with management always factor in the bottom line.  Bring to the table that as a “programming team,” there are a variety of ways to contribute towards the overall sales success of the station.  Some examples: Jocks going on sales calls with the account executive: better production; spec spots; the PD attending sales lunches with key clients; the PD attending sales meetings.  Then, sometime in the course of your conversation, see if you can get your manager to name the areas that caused a lack of confidence in your friend’s performance.  And vigorously defend that performance from the programming viewpoint.  Some people make a lousy first impression.  Your friend might fit that mold.  There is always the possibility you will discover that your manager is the real problem, be it through a lack of experience or just plain stubbornness, which is causing inept observations and tight control over all the station employees.  After your discussion, you should be able to assess whether your manager is, or is not worth the effort.  As I have said many times … a well-run radio station starts at the top.  Maybe it’s time for you both to leave?  Art

Q.   When I was seven years old in the early 1950's I took swimming lessons Saturday mornings at the local YMCA.  It was a fairly large class and the first thing we did every day was sit on the edge of the pool and count off, Army style, 1..2..1..2.  That way the instructor could say something like, "All 2’s swim a lap."  I liked, for some reason, to be a "1."  One morning, when I realized by my position that I would be a "2", I asked the guy next to me if he would mind changing positions.  After we switched, he asked me: "Didn't you want to sit next to him?"  The "him" was a Black kid.  He sounded neither approving nor disapproving but he thought he understood how I felt.  He was wrong, though. I had not given the slightest thought about the color of the boy sitting next to me.  But the lesson I started to learn that morning was that a lot of people do care about that.  I was only seven, but even so, I felt bad without knowing why. I think it was because I lost some innocence.  And the black kid. he probably heard what was said and maybe lost some of his innocence that day, too.  I would give much if I could now tell him that I just wanted to be a "1".  Years later, I had a 62-mile round trip commute for over two years and often listened to talk radio.  If Dr. Laura came on I could only stand a few minutes of her because she was just too self-righteous for me.  And I thought she was patronizing to most of her callers.  When I first heard her gay-bashing statements I pretty much dismissed it because I had a hard time visualizing anybody changing their minds about the topic after listening to her.  We all have an opinion of what is "right" and what is "wrong."  These opposite groups of people have more in common with each other than they might think.  And that brings me to what I really wanted to say: The pattern is more important than the fabric.  Love, honor, loyalty, kindness...these are examples of what people can have in common--regardless of skin color or their sex lives.  It seems that it would be hard, even for the most intolerant person, to hate somebody that has similar values.  Or maybe I'm just being naive.  T.J.

A.  Thanks for the response, TJ., to the item about Dr. Laura in last weeks R & I.  I love your line “The pattern is more important than the fabric.”  It can’t be said better than that.  Art

 Q.  “Conglomerates”, as you call large groups, Art, are BULLIES.   They come into a market to dominate, spreading lies about the effectiveness of their competition, and eventually buying out as many as will sell.  I own a stand-alone station in what once was a very good radio market.  Help me out, Art, how can I survive?  B.T.

 A.  First thing to do is to QUIT!  Quit chasing them.  Quit thinking about them.  Quit worrying.  Now THINK.  Think about your format.  Is it boring?  Does it still fit the market?  Think about your clients.  Are they successful advertising on your station?  Do you have clients that have been with you for years, or do you constantly have to chase new business to survive from month to month?  Soul searching is an important part of fixing a station.  Most owners are not blessed with an expertise in all facets of radio, usually finding their weakness in modern programming.  If that is YOUR profile, get outside help.  Hire the Best consultant you can.  But make sure they understand the sales potential of whatever changes they may suggest.  There are two things you can do when confronted by a Bully.  Humor ‘em or Hit ‘em.  Your choice, B.T.!   … Art  

Q   Hope you and Bobbi are well, and that you are progressing in your recovery.  I started out to make an attempt at some "rumors." but on the way I discovered something that is not a rumor, but a tragic fact.  Uncle Ricky's ReelRadio.com site will be going away unless a lot of us help.  You can get the whole story by going to the web site  www.ReelRadio.com .  If there is a way you could help this situation by posting something, perhaps what people can do to help, on your web site, I'm sure it would be appreciated by Uncle Ricky and everyone who believes as I do that www.ReelRadio.com  is a very valuable resource that must be preserved so we can continue to enjoy your shows and those of the other great talents who have blessed our business.   H.W.

A.   Amen to that H. W.  In 1959, Bill Gavin invited some of the top personalities of that era to form a Disk Jockey Association.  Its purpose was to re-establish a spirit of dignity to an industry that became tainted by a Payola scandal.  Many of the talent that gathered in a hotel room in Milwaukee, and again in Chicago, are included in the collection of some 640 tapes presented at Reel Radio.  Uncle Ricky mirrors Bill in his dedication to preserving the Radio of BC … Before Conglomerates. There is a plan in place to save his efforts of these past four years, which is spelled out in Uncle Ricky’s Report.  With the thousands of Fans of Reel Radio, it should be a piece of cake to keep the repository out of the red. So, I am appealing to the thousands of YOU who read www.ArtRoberts.com  to send what ever you can.  My Check to the Media Preservation Foundation is in the Mail.  

Contributions made to the MEDIA PRESERVATION FOUNDATION for the benefit of REELRADIO are fully tax- deductible in accordance with IRS regulations, and will directly support the continuation of the REELRADIO website. All contributors will receive an acknowledgment of their contribution directly from the Media Preservation Foundation.

Contributions may be sent to: 
REELRADIO FUND  
Media Preservation Foundation 
Box 61223 
Longmeadow, MA 01116-6223

Let freedom reign!  … Art

Q.   It's great to see my favorite disk jockey on the web!   I recall a bedtime story about Cinderella (or was that a fractured fairy tale?), and there was some reference to the "hung and yandsome prince" which struck me as so funny as a teenager, then even funnier years later when the double entendre hit me!  But my memory may not be as good as I thought because, I seem to recall the same story told by the weird twins (Not the Thompson Twins.... or was it?) on Hee-Haw on TV in the '70s.  Did they steal your story?  Or have I totally tangled my memories from that era?  Do you have this story on CD somewhere?   And how can I get my local classic rock station (WXCD 94.7FM in Chicago) to play more B-sides and less of the top 40 stuff?   M.L.G.

A.  So many questions.  So little time.  Wish I did write “Cinderella.”  Wrote a lot of “Hip Fables”, but not that one.  You are thinking about Jack Ross' “Cinderella” on Dot Records, from 1962.  It got to #16, and very well might still be included on an oldies collection.  Good hunting.  As for your favorite classic rock station playing more B-sides … Good luck!  Formats today are pretty well set in stone, and much the same from coast to coast.  You might write a letter to the Program Director suggesting a “special feature” of a “B” side song played sometime in the evening hours.  There IS a lot of good music that deserves exposure.   Art 

Q   I LISTENED TO WLS WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL IN BENTON HARBOR, MI. IN THE 60’S.  THEY PLAYED A SONG IN THE SUMMER OF '66 BY A WOMAN ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE LOVED ONIONS.  IT WAS A FUNNY SONG THAT I WOULD LIKE TO GET A COPY OF BUT THE SONG TITLE AND HER NAME I CAN'T FIND OR REMEMBER.  I WAS REFERRED TO YOU BY WLS.  IF YOU CAN FIND IT FOR ME I'LL BUY YOUR BEDTIME STORIES CD TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION FOR YOUR EFFORTS.    L.B.

A   You know me L.B., anything to sell a CD!  It's "I Love Onions" by Susan Christie (Lou's sister!) from July of 1966 on Columbia records.  While it only got to #63 on Billboard, it made it to #30 on the WLS chart.  A true one hit wonder.  It doesn't appear to be available on CD right now, though.   ART

Q.   I want to work for a radio station, but not as an announcer.  What other jobs are worth applying for?  My mini-resume is: BA in Business; married, we have a three year old daughter; worked as a Concierge for a large hotel, and public relations for a major charity.  I like dealing with the public.  Where do I go from here?  C. B.

A.   There are two areas where you will be able to tap into your experience.  If money is the objective, sales is the key.  Sales is the only position on a radio team that allows a person control of their paycheck.  Another option would be Promotions Director.  You need a lot of energy for this job.  You will be responsible for creating sales promotions, station image promotions, and generally keeping the radio station in the forefront of every community activity.  It will be your task to become “wired into” the city.   An event won’t happen without your station being involved.  Are you up for either of these options?  Good luck, and stay in touch.   Art

Q.   I have been in radio for 34 years and never worked with an engineer. What was it like working with an engineer running the board, and which did you like better – working combo or having an engineer to help?   D.D.

A.   Well, I have been in radio longer than that and never had a dinner! There are very few stations that use engineers on a board or in production anymore.  Even in the top three markets, most stations run combo.  Computers, digital technology, et al, have streamlined the process of broadcasting which pretty well eliminated the need for an engineer for anything other than a technical problem.  But back in BC (Before Computers), a good production engineer was as important to the success of a show as the preparation it took to perform it.  Levels were flawless.  Background music never would override the speech.  Need to build a 59 second musical bed from 4 different records?  No problem.  And I defy you to pick out the splices.  Production engineers were a whiz with a razor.  There were two major areas where working with an engineer was a definite advantage over working combo.  First, there was a warm body in front of you.  Human reaction.  If something was funny, they would laugh.  Or they would comment on a routine with some pointed advice.  The radio show became a coordinated effort. And the audience benefited.  Second, I had time to THINK.  The average song was three minutes in length.  That gave me at least two and a half minutes to plan the next break, arrange the commercials in the most effective order, chose a jingle, etc.  So, in a choice between working with an engineer or combo, the engineer WINS.   Art

Q  Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  It’s me.  How do I get out of here?  Knock Knock.  Who’s there?  It’s me again.  How do I get out of here?  I have been stuck in this small town station for two years.  I know that if I worked in a bigger market I would be a better DJ.  Knock Knock.  Help!    S.J.

 A  Big only counts in sumo wrestling.  Market size has nothing to do with it.  Personal effort leads to personal gain.  You can always equate life with sports.  Many a small town high school hero has gone on to excel in professional competition.  They made their name on the local level first.  Every game was played with equal intensity.  Accepting the challenge and meeting it head on.  Determination makes a person great.  Sounds to me like you are not willing to pay your dues.  ‘Til you do, your dream of a major market will more than likely remain a fantasy.    A.R.

Q  While listening to your 1/1/1966 show I realized what ONE of the reasons I enjoyed listening to you so much: you didn't talk while records were being played.  It seems that, to so many DJ's, the instrumental interlude between the start of the record and the start of the vocal portion was pretty much fair game to keep talking.  It began to seem like a REQUIREMENT for radio personalities to do this.  The goal seemed to be to exactly finished talking when the vocal started.  I could be wrong but it seemed like the ability to do this feat was considered more "professional" than saying the same thing BEFORE the record started.  Anyway, thank you for NOT doing this. T. J

A  Good observation.  Some DJ’s did get off on talking up to the vocal.  Most of the time, it became annoying because:  (a) They rambled on just to hit the first word of the song without thinking out what was said;  (b) They failed to realize that too much of anything becomes redundant.  Sometimes PD’s were the cause.  There were those that dictated “less talk”, so the DJ’s would use the lip of a record to stretch their time for conversation, and get those blessed call letters in.  Did I ever talk over the lip of a record?  You betcha.  Whenever I did, the thought would fit the theme of the song, or pertain to the artist.  Personally, I faired very well throughout the changing trends in radio.  Most of the time I was allowed creative freedom, which I respected greatly.  I spent at least four hours in show prep, every day.  Sometimes there would be a clause in my contract spelling out “show control.”  Yesterday’s Radio related to its audience, and the community it served.  Today’s Radio is dependent upon cue cards and sound bites.   Art

Q   Good news here...I'm working part-time at an Oldies station.  Plus, I'm interning with our GM for a (6 station) cluster in Florida.  I am learning many other areas of the business (accounting, production, promotions, sales, etc.), and I'm enjoying the heck out of it...getting college credit and learning more about the trade...what more could I ask for!  I have to thank you for the suggestion, "Ever think about sales?"  Well I thought about it
and wound up with even more to learn.  Thanks.  M.J.

A   I’m proud of you, M.J.  And I hope this will serve as an inspiration to others who want to excel in today’s radio model.  (M.J. is a senior in college who worked for a station that was bought by a very large conglomerate.  He felt his job was in jeopardy.  I suggested he have a talk with the GM and ask about setting a career path within the group.  He did, and the results are spelled out in the above paragraph.)  Large organizations need good people.  Employees that are team players who share in the success of their group.  For example, PD’s who coach the talent to deliver effective commercials, and concern themselves with sales.  Sales managers who understand all formats, and school the sales staff in the effectiveness and reach of theirs.  Receptionists who say the call letters with pride when answering the phone, and then go a step further by suggesting promotional ideas.  Responsibilities overlap at every well-run station.  There are no jobs in today’s Radio.  Just careers.   Art

Q   Hi Art: I thought you gave a very thoughtful reply to the young man on your web site who asked what a record turner was?  I think that your response made it sound as though it was unique to WLS because of having had the studio orchestra.  Actually this was a requirement of the musicians union in all the major stations in the city of Chicago arranged by James C Petrillo many years previous to the sale of WLS.  WLS, WBBM. WMAQ, WIND, WGN, and WENR all had record turners when I started in radio in 1941.  I should add however that this musicians requirement applied also in Hollywood and New York. I believe these were the only three places.   D.S

A   Thanks D.S. for sharing this little bit of “Record Turner” radio history with us.  My Dad was right.  You learn something new every day.   Art

Q   I remember my first trip to WLS and watching you do your show.  It was a Saturday in August, 1962.  You joined us in the viewing room and signed autographs and answered questions.  I asked you who the guy was standing in the corner and you said he was your record turner.  Then you told us you had to get back to the studio and waved goodbye.  I have wondered all these years, what in the world is a record turner?   R.B.

A   A Dinosaur.  A Blast from the past.  And a wonderful ally.  So lemme ‘splain.  When ABC bought WLS, the station had a large orchestra that was used for live shows.  Since we were to become a Rock ‘N Roll radio station, they bought out the musicians contracts, and allowed some of the senior members of the band to stay on as “record turners.”  Their job was to play any records in the course of a program.  My first day at WLS I walked into a studio that had an engineer behind a wall of glass and another guy standing on my right next to three turntables.  I didn’t know who to point to first.  We all quickly learned that the record turners were a whiz in production.  For example, if we had 63 seconds before the ABC hourly news, they would drop a needle on a 45 or an LP, and in EXACTLY 63 seconds the song would blend into the news sounder.   They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.  … Art

Q   Isn't it a shame what radio has become today?  Sterile formats in the hands of conglomerates.  Programmers without imagination.  Disk Jockeys who can't say their name without a cue card.  Sure miss the old days.  S.S.

A   My dad came from the era that found a "good job" and stayed there until they retired.  I worked in twenty-plus markets.  It's the way the game was played in the profession I chose.  During this time, I ran into programmers 
that had no clue how to make a station vibrant.  Cue-card dependent jocks who said the call letters the same way every time they opened their mouth.  And station owners that blamed everyone else for their failure, rather than 
owning up to their faulty leadership.  Ineptness is not a product of a large organization.  It is a "canker sore" they inherited from past generations.  The "big guys" are on a constant search to find the talent that will make 
them dominant.  In today's radio model, success is measured by the bottom line.  Creativity is not outlawed.  But it must fit the overall game plan.  Art 

Q  Fats Domino called it "Blue Monday." I have one every Monday, and it is always my worst day on the air. I stumble on words, screw up the breaks, intro the wrong songs, you name it and I do it on Monday. It is like curse. How can I shake it? C.S. 

A  Stumblin' Monday's have become a habit. We all fall victim to our inner voice that wreaks havoc on our sub-conscious. Every experience, good and bad, is registered in our brain. Monday's are bad for you because you are allowing the wrong messages to take over. Ever play golf? Ever watch a golfer who stands over the ball, constantly changing the grip, moving their feet to different positions, slowly raising their club, and then shanking the ball? Their inner voice took over with a battery of instructions: "Keep your eye on the ball; keep your wrist cocked; swing through the ball; " In any endeavor, you must ALLOW yourself to PLAY THE GAME. Try this next Monday. Before you open the mike, have a conversation with your inner self. (I know this may sound crazy, but it really works.) Out loud say "SHUT UP! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT I MUST TO DO, SO GIVE ME A MINUTE AND THEN YOU CAN TALK." After the break, close the microphone and say: "OK, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SAY?" Eventually, your inner voice will go away ALLOWING you to unleash a consistently smooth performance.  Art

Q  Art, I need an honest answer. I have been mailing tapes to radio stations around the country since September, and I have never received a reply. Do PD's ever listen to a tape, or do they just throw them in the garbage? T.C. 

A  The face and complexion of Radio has changed. In many markets, a PD might be responsible for more than one station. Most will be a part of a large group of stations, and answer to corporate executives, consultants, etc. Their time is very limited to listen to unsolicited air checks. Considering the fact that on average an employer devotes all of fifteen seconds to read a resume, time management on the executive level is at a premium. So, what is an ambitious upcoming jock to do? NETWORK! Get to know people, and have them get to know you. Here is a perfect example. There was a jock that worked at our local radio station, and wondered if he had what it takes to work in a larger market. One day he drove the fifty miles to Reno and talked with the folks at the number one station about working weekends. They met a few times, and were impressed by his drive and energy. He got the weekend job, which turned into full time employment. Today, he is a large market jock, working for an aggressive group, and sounds FANTASTIC!   Art

Q  Many years ago I had the pleasure of being shown around the WCFL studios at Marina City by a woman, I think her name was Mary Sweeney - and the guy on the air was you. Lujack peered out his dark office and you were talking up the record... "And now here's Loggins & Messina with Your Mama Don't Dance and your Daddy Don't Either." I'll never forget it, actually seeing the guy behind the voice. DG 

A  What a memory! You might have been enthralled by your guided tour of WCFL, but what you probably don't know is that your tour guide, Mary Sweeney, was the force behind the guy behind the voice you listened to. Mary was a genius. Her title at the station was Promotions Director, and I found her to be fountain of ideas for my morning show. I remember one morning, Mary came into the studio, and said: "Do you know what day this is?" So I answered: "It's Wednesday, but somehow I don't think that's the right answer." "Today is National Fink Day." And Mary handed me a poem dedicated to every person named Fink.
 
I've never seen anyone lovelier than a Fink, I think, 
They'll smile and flirt with a wink, 
Or blink, 
Then put on a gown so lacy pink, 
And drink.
 
And it went on from there for two pages. Mary was wired into every place in the city of Chicago, including the mayors office. I swear she knew what Daley would do before HE did. Thanks to Mary, my morning show was the most topical in town. She gave me tips on everything and everybody. Mary had a great sense of humor and loved a practical joke. Like the time she dressed up in a Nun's Habit, and boarded a City of Chicago bus … Oh well, we'll save that for another time … Art

Q.  I worked nights for a station until the middle of December and then they automated the evenings.  They only run live from 6 AM to 6 PM.  My wife says if I don't leave radio she's history.   I have about three hundred dollars in 
the bank, which doesn't even cover the car payment.  I love being a DJ, but I can't see past today.  Is it time to throw in the towel? … PK

A.  Talk about a crappy way to start a new year!  Think about what Rocky would do.  Would he lay on the canvas and take the count, or would he come back swinging?  Yo.  You bet he'd be on his feet doing what he does best.  
Winning.

Automation is happening in broadcasting and many other industries.  It is pure economics.  Mister Computer will be the star jock at night in just about every market in America.  Are you good?  Good enough to be competitive?  Get a day job.  

As for your wife, that will be her decision.  Independent thinking is part of  the deal in this Millennium.  Talk it over, and good luck.  Write when you land a new challenge.    Art

Q   I am a weekly visitor to ArtRoberts.Com, and I have noticed that you haven't said much about your book lately, and I was wondering how it is coming along.  When do you think it will be released?  Soon, I hope.  Please let me know.  D.H.

A.  Well, I'm happy to tell you that the book is finished.  The editing is complete.  I hope to have it released in early December.  All that is left is finding a place to record it and turn out the CD's.  It should be a 3 CD Audio book, about three and a half hours long.  Since I am taking bids on the production, I had this thought.  If anyone who frequents this web site has a Production Studio capable of digitally recording the text and producing CD's, please contact me right away.  (Art@artroberts.com)  I'll get right back to you.  'Preciate it!  Art

Q  Hi there! How are you?  An argument broke out the other day between some of the staff and me.  As you may (or may not) know, my most favorite song of all time is Surfing Bird, by the Trashmen.  I am the chairman (self appointed, emeritus) of The Surfing Bird Society.  A rather un-snooty organization consisting of folks who worked too long around 50,000 watt transmitters.

We can not seem to agree (or disagree) if the damn song was the "A" or "B" side of the record?  Can you help?  Many projects of important merit have come to a halt until this important question is resolved.  You are the last word and judge.

Also, what is a "Hot August Night"? (concept).  Sounds like fun.  Hope you and yours are well.  God bless,   W. H.

A 1964 is always remembered as the year of the Beatles.  February the first, "I Want To Hold Your Hand" was numero uno in the USA.  Everything else was a blur, except on the West Coast.  They had their "Surf Turf."  Surf music. 

Surf guys with long blonde hair parted in the middle wearing striped shirts.  Surf gals with great tans.  Surf in the ocean.  Surf groups.  The Beach Boys were the leader of the pack.  Jan and Dean, and The Trashmen trailed behind.  So, on the West Coast, who could get excited about four guys from England.  You had to be there.   (That might explain your lapse of memory.) 

"Surfin Bird" was the A side, the B side was "King Of The Surf". 

As for "Hot August Nights", it is a celebration that belongs exclusively to Western Nevada, the land of the high desert.  A week long tribute presented in Reno and Sparks every year, honoring Rock 'N Roll and some of the greatest Old Cars in the world.  Probably the only place where you can find a Woody that's Cherry.  Art

Q  It took me nine years of hard work to get to a major market. Now that I am here, I am bored. During my shift my mind will drift away and go blank. We read the same positioning statement first thing, every break, followed by rotating cue cards. All my creativity has been stripped away. Art, I feel I am getting burned out and heading for a crash. Any ideas?  D. R. A. 

A  Formats don't burn people out. They do it to themselves. Let's see if we can reposition your perspective. After nine years you land in a top twenty market. Nine years of focus, networking, improving. You had a plan, pal. Your problem now is you are running on empty. What did you expect to find in a big city? The people are the same, just more of them. As for creativity, there are many avenues worth exploring to fulfill your creative needs. Free lance commercials. Television. Write a column. Live appearances. Theatre groups. Pick the area you feel most comfortable pursuing. Formulate a plan, stay in focus. Then call me in nine years. I expect to see you at the top of the ladder.  Art

Q This weeks Q&A is the answer to last weeks question.

Just got back from a weeks trip, and this time I have the question.  Did we find a copy of the Silver Dollar Survey for October 30th 1964 when The Egyptian Combo had a song "Gale Winds" at #16 on WLS?  Did we make D. L.'s
day?  You bet your sweet Bippy we did!

Art's Armada came through once again.  Twice, even.  Thanks to the graciousness of Marilyn G., and Mike & Diane B., D.L. is a happy camper, and the proud recipient of two copies of the Survey that made him famous. 
 
Are we cool, or what?   Art

Q  We've got another mission of mercy.  Somewhere out there in Mudville, USA, is the solution to a friends problem.  I'll let him tell you in his own words: 

"Wish I had a copy of the Silver Dollar Survey for Oct. 30 of '64 when the group I was in, The Egyptian Combo had a song "Gale Winds" at #16 on WLS.  Would love to have it on our web. Good luck with your CD.  Thanks,  D. L."

Know where a copy of this Silver Dollar Survey is available?  E-mail me at Art@artroberts.com

Come on, make his day!  Art

Q  I don't know if you remember me from your days in Milwaukee, doing voice overs for my radio spots, and slide shows at M&I Bank.  But wanted you to know that you were always the best.  It is nice to see that I could find you after all these years.  Hope all is well and you are doing what you want.  However, as I have grown older, I wonder if you might give me some insights into how do I get myself into the voice industry and doing commercials as you did while in Milwaukee?  Thanks,  J.D.G.

A  First, I do remember working with you.  And thank you for the kind words.  I would think someone with your talents should have a leg-up on pursuing a "new" career as a free lance voice talent.  After all, you understand writing, interpretation, production, and the expectations of a director.  You will need a good audition tape.  It does not have to include full commercials.  Snippets of a few commercials work very well.  Include as much variety as possible.  If you intend to go after industrial presentations, produce a separate audition tape, again using snippets for variety.  The producer or agency will be listening for the way you read and interpret words.  You only need three and a half to four minutes worth.  The next step is networking.  "Who do you know wants to hire a voice talent?"  Visit as many agencies as possible.  Production houses and large businesses, such as auto dealers.  (They do lottsa commercials.)  It always takes time.  Be as accommodating as you can, especially in the recording studio.  And be patient.  I auditioned for a Chicago agency many times and never was chosen for a session. Then we moved to San Francisco and I got a call to record a slew of Standard Oil spots, both radio and TV.  Go figure.  Art 

Q  I remember the Tra Strebor Fan Club for Art -- the two presidents were Gayle Silverman and Holly Schultz. I wonder what ever happened to them?  Those were great days at WLS in the Stone Container Building on Michigan Avenue -- the Silver Dollar Survey etc. Thanks for the great memories.   P. C.

A  Well, they must be out there somewhere.  I mean, you just don't lose TWO presidents.  P.C., I think it is time to call on the POWER of the Internet.  It is faster than a speeding bulletin.  More powerful than a loco motion.  And smarter than any Guru.  So, this is an "ALL POINTS ALERT."  If ANYONE reading this weeks Q&A knows the whereabouts of Gayle Silverman or Holly Schultz, last seen camping in the viewing room of WLS, in Chicago, somewhere in the sixties . contact me immediately.  Art@ArtRoberts.com      Is there a reward?  I don't know, I'll think of something.  Art

Q  Art, you are the only person who can shed some perspective to my ravaged life. The other day I was doing my afternoon drive show, the song was starting to fade, when this guy comes bursting into the control room and says: "What the Hell was that you just played?" At first I thought it was just a joke, but his face got redder and I realized there was no way to get a sunburn in here, so he must really be pissed. I said, "The Red Hot Chili Peppers, are you stupid or what?" Later on I found out he was from our group office and had nothing to do with programming. I got a slap on the wrist for being disrespectful, and warned never to let that happen again. You are my hero, Art, where do I go from here?  V.B. 

A  You have just experienced the epitome of "The tail wagging the dog." I thought they had sterilized that breed out of radio years ago, but I guess they are still reproducing. I will suggest you have a polite conversation with your station manager about the situation, and ask for his suggestion(s) to prevent a second occurrence. Ralph Beaudin, manager and father of WLS in the glory years, had some hard fast rules that prevented any problems at his station. And WLS was HIS radio station. (1) Any communication with anyone on staff and visitors from ABC Corporate went through HIS office, period. (2) No one (even your mother holding a jar of chicken soup) was allowed in the control room, period. This policy kept Peace in the Valley, and allowed the "Buffalo to roam, while the Deer and the Antelope played." You might pass that along to your GM.  Art

Q  I will have my MBA at the end of this year, and my goal is to own a radio station.  I have worked as a DJ weekends and summers all through my schooling, and have a family source for financing.  My question is, "In this age of acquisitions and mergers, can an individual radio station remain competitive?"    M.B.

A  No one owns a hundred percent of anything, ever.  There is always room for competition.  You will however need more than money and an MBA to compete in any market.  It would be wise to work a year in sales for a successful station, preferably one that is part of a large group.  The experience will enable you to formulate a game plan for your own venture.  You will also meet a variety of people in the industry, which will be a valuable networking source for the future.  Besides, I predict you will eventually wind up with a group of stations.  In today's business waters, "If you don't grow, you go."  Just promise me one thing.  When you get that "first station", never dictate policy from behind a desk.  Get out in the community and lead by example. Great Generals still drive their own tank.   Art

Q  How would you deal with a heavy breather?  I am a Program Director for a high energy station that is part of a very aggressive group.  We have a DJ who has the problem of being very breathy when he talks, and I am being pressured by management to replace him.  I don't like firing people, at least not until I have exhausted every avenue.  How can I get him to correct this bad habit?  C.S.

A  First, your DJ needs to determine whether his "breathiness" is caused by anything physical.  (E.g. A sinus problem; carrying too much weight; or just plain out of condition.)  Check it out with his doctor.  If it is determined
that there is no physical impairment, your DJ probably has a problem with breath control.  Observe how he breathes when reading or talking.  If his chest expands when taking a breath, then he is breathing wrong.  He should learn to breathe through the diaphragm.  (Stomach pumps in and out.)  Those short bursts of "sucking in air" between words are usually a combination of bad habit and bad breath control.  Give him copy to practice with.  Park him in a production room, and have him mark all the places where his breath ran out.  Then have him mark a second piece of the same copy, anticipating his pauses for breath.  Have him practice taking in air slowly, and in rhythm, through the diaphragm.  It takes a lot of work, but improvement will come in time.  He will eventually learn his cadence and be able to mark any piece of copy to fit his reading style.  You are to be commended for allowing an employee a chance to work out a problem.  The world has enough knee-jerkers.   Art

Q  I live in San Francisco, and have been listening to you for the last few days on KKOH in Reno.  Are you working for them now?  I grew up in Oklahoma and would listen to you every night on WLS.  Great to hear you back on the radio again.  W.G.

A  Yes and no.  I do a special six hour show for KKOH each day during the week of "Hot August Nights", a celebration of old cars and Rock 'N Roll.  It is the largest event in Reno, and a bunch of fun.  Crushing crowds, great oldies acts like Little Anthony and the Imperials, the 3 Philadelphia kids - Frankie Avalon, Fabian, and Bobby Rydel, etc., and awesome antique iron.  We also held our second annual Hoola Hoop contest, trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records of spinning the most Hoola Hoops simultaneously.  Eighty-one was the number to beat.   Lori Lynn Lomeli came up from Los Angeles and twirled EIGHTY-TWO hoola hoops at the same time, and is the new worlds champ.  She is a "cute as can be" mom of three, and has been twirling hoops for thirty-three years.  (Her e-mail address is LLLhoop@aol.com)  Anyway, thanks for telling me we beamed down the coast.  Look at the bright side.  Where else can you find a job where you work one week and then get a 51-week vacation?    Art

Q  I work for an oldies station which should be referred to as a "fewer oldies station." We keep playing the same songs over and over. And when ratings time comes around, we play "even fewer" oldies. Can you tell me the logic behind this programming?   M.W.

A  Betcha you have a consultant tucked away in a closet.  Research, or a decision made based on research, is the culprit.  The goal of an oldies format programmer is to play ONLY the most familiar of the old hits. In theory, (which dates back to the sixties), if a station plays the top 30 songs of 1955 - 1970, they have a list of 450.  Yes, a lot of great oldies are left by the wayside, but the station is not trying to be a jukebox.  Add to this the ancient assumption: "You never get hurt by what you DON'T play", and the complexity of the hypothesis needs but one more rung on the ladder to reach its peak.  Fine tune the already short list during a ratings period, augment it with the BEST promotions, and the ratings should move up a notch.  Oddly enough, sometimes it works.  The "no guts no glory" school of programming is long gone.  Programmers of today live in a fail-safe environment, passed down from one research generation to the next.  Art

Q Was the Buckingham's' mid-60s hit, "Hey Baby, They're Playin' Our Song", inspired by WLS' weekly Art Roberts program of the same name? I've always wondered, since the Buckingham's were a Chicago-based band. (In a memorable appearance on "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" in 1967, they were surrounded by replicas of the Union Jack, because the Producers assumed --- because of the group's name --- that they were British, not knowing about the Chicago park from which they took their name). I believe that your nightly show was the only Top-40 program I listened to throughout 1965 and 1966, despite living 35 miles North of Baltimore, just over the Pennsylvania line. I'll never forget "Whopper Waffles", "Peter Fugitive", and the signature "... this has been a work of Art. Excelsior!". What a vehicle this Internet ... that I should stumble upon a site that brings back some of the most influential memories of my formative, impressionable years. "Go, go, eight-nine-oh!."  T.P.

A  First, thank you for all the kind words. Now, the rest of the story. The Buckingham's brought a dub of their latest creation, "Hey Baby, They're Playing Our Song" to me while I was recording my Sunday program one Friday morning, and asked if I would mind them using the oldie show's title in their new song. Mind? I was proud they chose it. The Buckingham's were one of many local groups played on WLS. And we played a bunch. (E.g. New Colony Six, Ral Donner, etc.) I have never understood programmers who refuse to expose local talent. Who wrote that rule? And their reasoning is dumber than the rule.  Usually, it is, "We have no way to track local records." Besides, everyone has to be born someplace. It's not the birthplace that is important, it is the quality of an artist's music. I think my sixty-two percent rating on the night show was concrete testimony that local hits are not a tune-out.  Art

Q  My youngest daughter, 20 years old, is an English major.  She is planning on teaching High School English.  However, her "dream" would be to get into communications - especially radio.  I have warned her radio is a tough field to break into, and it wouldn't be as stable as teaching.  I want her to be happy and succeed, and I hate to discourage her from pursuing her dream.  What is your opinion?  Any advice?   Thanks!   J. S.

A  It beats having her run off with a rock and roll drummer.  I have always preached that one should live their dream.  Like any pursuit in life, a successful radio career takes a lot of hard work.  The toughest part is getting started.  Most Universities and Colleges have "intern programs" that allow a person to gain some experience and involvement in a chosen field.  She should check that out.  Knock on the local station(s) doors and try to get a weekend shift.  Many times that leads to summer relief jobs.  All this can be accomplished while earning her degree, which would be a good idea.  Then, if the flame of desire is still burning, do radio until the road runs out.  Statistically, a person who is 20 will have seven careers before they retire, more if they don't.  Radio could be one of them.  One more thing.  I am not so sure teaching is that stable anymore.  Good teachers are dropping out at an alarming rate.  Unless we experience a change in our education system, it will only get worse.  Art

Q  I would like to ask if you know any site where I might find a clip featuring Joel Sebastian. I had a chance to meet him while interning at WJMK in Chicago during college, shortly before he passed away.  He was a great guy and treated people he met as if they were old friends.   R.B.
Special Note:  Thank you Scott Childers!  Scott is the midday talent on WNND 100 FM, Chicago, and located some Joel Sebastian tapes in response to this week's Q&A.  Scott also has a great website worth checking out. (www.Scott.Childers.com) The Internet rules.  Now, here's this weeks Q&A

A  You are right; somebody out there must have a clip of Joel Sebastian.  After checking the usual sources (Reel Radio, et al. and coming up blank, it is time to call in the troops. IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE THERE IS AN AIRCHECK OF JOEL SEBASTIAN, PLEASE E-MAIL THE INFORMATION TO ME  (art@artroberts.com).  Joel was blessed with a beautiful voice, and a warm personality that touched all he met. His talent should be perpetuated through the magic of the Internet.  Art

Q  I have been in radio for 10 years, seven of them at the same station. I got a job offer to do afternoon drive at a much larger station about a thousand miles from here. My wife says she won't move, her job is very important to her. Now what do I do?   G.H.

A  Don't ask me, I'm not Ann Landers! OK, I'll give it a shot. In today's overtaxed, overpriced world, double income families are the rule and not the exception. (In your case, it's a double career family.) The secret to long marriages is how you handle hard decisions. I have a friend in Wisconsin who was faced with the same dilemma. He was offered a news position at a network station in Chicago, and turned it down. Did it kill his career? Not hardly. He went on to become a top executive for a strong chain of stations, and never left the state. No one can tell you what to do. Search your soul, way the options, and the correct answer will surface. Good luck!   Art

Q  How do you deal with a guy no one can stand? He is an obnoxious, rude, self-centered individual, who shows no respect for anyone at the station. Because of his high ratings, my manager is afraid to say anything to him.  A.J.P

A  There is no law that says you have to love everyone you work with. I doubt if your manager really is afraid to confront your star jock, although he or she probably should. It is a business decision. Your star is contributing to
the bottom line, and keeping a station solvent is one of the primary duties of a manager. Look at the bright side. The only reason hot shot survives is because of the ratings. The day he fails is the day he sails. Meanwhile, while waiting for his "Armageddon" to arrive, everyone should work on his or her own careers. Be the best you can be. When "obnoxious Charlie's" number is up, a replacement will be needed, which might very well be one of you.  Art

Q  I have been out of radio for five years working in real estate. I have made more money in real estate sales then I ever made at a radio station, butI miss being on the air and have attempted to return. The managers I have interviewed with tell me that I have been out of radio too long to be considered for an on-air position. Should I just give up? I have 23 years experience as a DJ.   A. G.

A  Five years is not a long time to be absent from radio. Besides, they were successful and productive years. That is a lame excuse. The management you talked with probably thinks you are too old, and they can't say that, so they chose another reason. Before we go any further, you need to do some soul searching.

1. You have lived and worked in a very good market for at least 5 years. Are you sure you would want to move?

2. Why do you want to be a DJ again? Is it ego-driven? Usually, there is very little money to be made in your market at the tail end of a career.

3. Do you intend to walk away from the real estate profession? Or will you continue to sell real estate on a lesser scale?

4. Are you setting your goals too low? You have 28 years experience to offer a station encompassing broadcasting and very competitive sales experience.

Go back to the drawing board. I assume you were a very good DJ. A weekend position would probably be the easiest way to re-enter radio. If it still feels right after a couple of months under your belt, talk to the manager about the possibilities of a full time position. Remember, this time you have a different posture. You are a proven employee. Good luck my friend . Art

Q  What do you do when you wind up with the Program Director from Hell? He never smiles or has a conversation with anyone; he just glares at us like we are the worst piece of dirt he has ever had to deal with. Or he will stick his head into the control room, give a blank stare, then shake his head and close the door. He called me at home last week and I broke out in a sweat. Art, I am really afraid of this dude and I don't know what to do.    S. S.

A  I once owned a Shar-Pei dog we called Wally that had a schizophrenic personality. People would ask me if he bites, and I would answer, "I don't know, he's never had to." Perhaps your PD is Wally, reincarnated. I see two problems here. First, you are stuck with a Program Director that has bad body language. Second, you are being haunted by ghosts of past experiences that hide in the shadows of your soul. (Whoa!) Let's deal with the PD. I have always believed it best to confront a problem head on. You might put a sign in his office that reads "SMILE" and present him with a giant cookie with a smiling face, and a caption that says, "Come on, make our day!" Then sit down and talk out the problem. Besides, if he is Wally, he's not going to bite you. Next, your ghosts. Life's experiences are really lessons that are stored, waiting to be re-examined. Somewhere along the line you experienced one Hell of a lesson in "fear." Unless you learn take command of these deep-rooted feelings, this same "fear" will surface time and time again. No, you don't need a shrink. There are some very good seminars and tapes on controlling fear and anger. Career Track would be a good place to start (www.careertrack.com). Best of luck.  Art
 
Q We have a bet going at the station on what is the best contest ever run on radio. So, we decided to let you settle it. Art, what do you consider the best contest ever?  S. P.

A Now, that would depend on whose viewpoint you are considering. From the contest player's side of the street, it would be the easiest one to play and win. From the management side, it would be one that challenged the audience and raised the ratings. In real time, there are very few effective contests. I believe that every radio station in any market has the same 2000 contest players. Speed - dialing, multi - frequency listeners, that have as much station loyalty as a bookend. They dominate the contest line and stuff the registration boxes. If a station runs a contest to satisfy that segment of the audience, fine. If a contest is run to boost the ratings, it is as archaic programming as installing a Martin Block format. That aside, (as the Godfather would say) the best contest should have a "Wheel of Fortune" quality . one that is fun to play whether you really participate or not; or a contest that has an astronomical prize. The two that come to mind are "The Mystery Sound Contest," and the "Last Contest." I ran both, and although they were fun to play, neither was effective in boosting the ratings.  AR

Q    In response to your solicitation for radio memories for the book, I hope you will consider the following. I remember some of the features of your W L S  9 to midnight show following Ron Riley in the 1960s... bedtime stories, "hip fables" (I still have the "Hip Fables" album in my collection.)  I remember the jingle "Hey Baby, They're Playing Our Song -- on the Art Roberts Show". I remember first hearing The Beatles/Ringo Starr "Boys" on your show. I remember the "guest teen DJ" back when I was a pre-teen.  Unfortunately, I didn't get over the "stage fright" in time to actually audition for the show. You were my major influence to go into broadcasting.  I remember interviewing you for my Radio-TV class at school. That interview was a major step in my overcoming the "stage fright". Thank you again! Though my broadcasting career has been on and off "part time gigs", I will always treasure the memories and credit you with being my number one influence.  I have worked "behind the scenes" as a radio engineer and some "on air" combo work at a few 500 watt daytime only stations.   My career goals got shifted to computers in the mid 1970s after NBC turned me down for an engineering job. My most recent on-air experience was as a weekend DJ on a local oldies station in Southern New Jersey for minimum wage.  As I sat there behind the microphone, I sometimes pictured myself behind a W L S microphone in Chicago - fantasizing about the career that I might have had, had I been as fortunate as you. D. S.

A   Sounds to me like you are doing just fine. You got your foot in the door of computer technology some 25 years ago, when it was in its infancy. I am sure you have grown with the industry. Keep doing weekends for minimum wage as long as you enjoy it. Just never look back. The grass is not always greener in somebody else's yard. Destiny is a powerful leader. Heck, I might have become a computer Guru, had I been as fortunate as you.  Art

Q  I have been a Chicago fan of yours for many years. I started listening to you at WLS, then again in the morning at WCFL, and finally at WKQX. As a kid I would always look forward to your "Bedtime Stories." (Guess what, I still have your Hip Fables album.) And then you did what I consider some of your finest broadcasts at WKQX when you featured a bunch of special shows you called "Thinking Out Loud." They were absolutely the best, and I sure hope you saved some of those broadcasts. Do you think you could include some Bedtime stories, and some of the Thinking Out Loud broadcasts on www.artroberts.com?   S. E.

A  Good idea. I do have some of the 'Thinkin' Out Loud' broadcasts on a closet shelf, somewhere. And the Bedtime stories would not be a problem either. But first, need to check with my bud, Larry. He is the technical brain of this web site. If it is a possibility, we'll sure let you know. Keep your eyes peeled to www.artroberts.com for further details! . Art

Q  This is a sales problem. My top salesperson has asked me to do a trade for a golf membership at a plush country club. Our station rarely trades for anything, yet I don't want to alienate my top producer. Art, what would you do?  G. P.

A  Show me a salesperson that does business on a golf course, and I'll show you a golfer. That is an unreasonable request. Maybe you do owe your top banana more than a pat on the back, but figuring out a reward for the effort is your call. Perhaps a week in Hawaii would smooth out some wrinkles. Of course, if you get a "it's my way or else," you might not have a choice. Yes, good salespeople are hard to find. Undoubtedly, your top dog in the pack has developed a very good list, and an attitude. First, I would pay a personal visit to each business and agency on that list to solidify the station / client relationship. Then I would find a top-notch person to fill the vacant shoes. You might have one right under your nose in your current sales staff.   And do this before it hits the fan. No person is ever bigger than the station. Ever.  Art

Q  IT'S ALWAYS FUN TO SEND A NOTE TO ONE OF MY HERO'S.   I GO BACK TO THE OLD NIGHTTIME SHOW ON LS.  I WENT TO BED EVERY NIGHT WITH THE TOP 3 MOST REQUESTED SONGS, AND FOLLOWED YOUR CAREER AS MUCH AS I COULD THROUGH THE YEARS.   I'M  THE PD AT A TINY STATION HERE IN SOUTHWEST WISCONSIN. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU ON MY MORNING SHOW SOMETIME, AND FOR BEING A GUEST WE'LL GIVE YOU 10 THOUSAND COCA COLA BOTTLE CAPS, SOME PIMPLE CREAM (TACKLE) AND A SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE. HOW'S THAT SOUND? I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.  I HAVE A COUPLE AIR CHECKS IF YOUR INTERESTED.   E.B.

A  Throw in a Bratwurst and you have a deal. Besides, that's the best offer I've had all day. Hang by the phone and we'll work out the details.  Art

Q  I met you at the WLS viewing room way back in 1965. I was a sophomore at Dominican, and you were nice enough to come in to the room and talk to us, sign our Silver Dollar Survey, which I still have, and then hang around a while getting to know all the kids there. Thank you for being a friend. I have worked in radio in Texas since graduating from A&M in 1973, and have just been made production director. Got any tips on the art of writing really good commercials? G. O.


A  Oh, if I work at it, I bet I could dream up a few. First, though, lets set the playing field straight. Writing anything is not an art. It's a craft. The more you write, the better you get. Second, the secret to writing is in rewriting. Now, here is my laundry list:

1. Write copy using all capital letters, double-spaced. Whatever is written will have to be read, and double spacing is easier to read.
2. Repeat the sponsor's name at least four times. Do the same for a telephone number if it is the focus of the spot.
3. There has to be a reason to go to a sponsor's store other than a 20% discount. Find out what makes them different or better than their competition.
4. End your spot by "asking for the order" or a call for the listener to react.
5. Use simple words. Don't get too technical. "Goes from zero to sixty in 5.3 seconds," says it all.
6. Tell it like it is. Truth in advertising still counts.
7. Don't let humor get in the way of the message. (E.g. Alka Seltzer had a series of commercials with the theme "I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
Some of the funniest TV spots ever produced. But people remembered the humor and not the product. So Alka Seltzer switched to dropping two pills in a glass of water: "Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz," and the audience got the message. Simple and to the point.)
8. Finally, get a good handbook. I recommend "The Elements of Copywriting" by Gary Blake and Robert W. Bly. It is easy reading, and available from the Amazon.com link on my home page or just click here and you'll go right to the book.  Art

Q I was one of your many listeners on WLS. In fact, you were in part, the reason I pursued a career in radio. The enthusiasm, audience rapport, and pure fun you displayed on your show were a sheer delight, which is something I have always tried to emulate.  Well, today I manage four radio stations in a medium market. We have installed a digital system with voice tracking capabilities, so now our disk jockeys can produce an entire show in less than an hour, which has not been received with open arms. They feel there is no room for creativity, and station morale is very low.  How can I instill enthusiasm in today's digital world?   A. W.

A  Whew. At first I thought you were going to offer me a job. The easiest way to become enthusiastic is to love what you do. Doing a show in this "digital age" can be very rewarding. There is no law that says it must be done in less than an hour. A digital system sets the stage for perfection. A break can be redone until the jock gets just the right inflection. The on-air staff has an opportunity to develop into performers. And this carries over to the production created at your station. When a national spot is produced by an agency, the announcer usually does many takes in the studio until the desired expression and timing has been achieved. That same quality can be emulated within your group. In the production room, the only limitations to a jocks creativity are bound by the limits of their imagination. Get your staff to quit bitchin' about the digital system, and start using it; enthusiasm is sure to go through the roof. And so will your sales.  Art

Q  I am a collector of old records and comic books. A friend of mine told me you were once featured in a comic book sometime in the 60's, but she couldn't remember which one. I have a very large collection and would like to see if I have it. Do you remember the name? Year? R. B.

A  I don't know about the featured part, but I did get a mention in Volume 1, Number 40, September 1966 issue of "The Amazing Spider-Man" (a Marvel Comic). The cover reads "Spidey Saves The Day" and "The End Of The Green Goblin." On page 10, (you will have to count the pages, they are not numbered) in the third picture insert, there is a radio on a desk, and the voice says: "This is Art Roberts, at station WLS in Chicago, wondering why nothing has been heard of Spider-Man these past few days." That was my debut in the comics. Truthfully, I got a big kick out of it. I believe it was meant to be a birthday present from Stan Lee. Hope you have the issue. (Note to you non-collectors - Spider-Man sold for 12 cents a copy. Ah, the good old days.)...Art

Q  How does a person with a disability get into radio? B.R.

A  When I was consulting WGLD, Oak Park, Illinois, one of the first oldies formats in Chicago, we needed to replenish the library and find a music director. A very special music director. One who had a knowledge of the Chicago hits of the fifties and sixties, and the ability to find the product needed. My guardian angel must have been working overtime, as two young men came to the station with a proposition. They were roommates, and shared an awesome collection of oldies that included every hit record of the fifties and sixties, in mint condition. The had only one problem. Both were legally blind. Documenting the music, and formulating a format for the station would be a tedious task as all the information would need to be written by hand. I hired them both, and wound up with the best oldies format I had ever experienced. As with the case of my two friends, knock on doors and ask for the job. I have also worked with jocks that had a disability that did extremely well. As always, talent wins out. In Chicago, Brad Saul has just opened "The Radio Center for People with Disabilities" (312-640-5000). The center is the first of it's kind in the country, and will train and help find employment for disabled people in just about every off-air radio position. Sales, engineering, etc. Sorry, so far they do not include on-air training. Call them for more information...Art

Q Are you the same guy? Were you at KB before going to WLS with or after Dick Biondi? You the same guy who ran ARP Records out of Buffalo,N.Y. (ARP-Art Roberts Productions.) Billy Lehmen and Penn Men. "First Sign Of Love." Did you release a single on Imperial,"Give Her The Axe Max"? I got the Chess album,Silver Dollar Survey with you and the dj's on the cover. A WLS issue. I have two ARP singles and if your the same guy, maybe you can give me some info on them. How many Art Roberts can there be? Good luck on your book!  Best, B. S.

A Yep, same guy. Wow, ARP Records. You have to be some kind of collector. My copies were lost in a basement flood some years ago. Think you could send a tape of them? Don't have "Give her the Axe, Max" either. Billy Lehman and The Penn Men were a 4 piece band (plus a vocalist) that played at all my dances while I was in Buffalo at WKBW. We had a stand up bass, drums, lead guitar, and a saxaphone. Their choreography was fantastic. The vocals were sung by Jr. Shank. I did the narration in "The First Sign Of Love." We had a second release called "Hey, Lollie" which was a folk song. I wrote different words for it, but we were sued by a New York publisher for copyright infringement. Thought the song was public domain, but didn't have the money to fight a big company, so we concentrated on the other side, "Black Derby" which I also wrote, both words and music. As for "Give her the Axe Max", I wrote, narrated, and produced that in Cleveland while I was at WCUE, Akron, Ohio. Other than Akron and Cleveland, the only other city we sold well was in New Orleans. The local TV show at the time played it a lot, and even invited me to come down to make an appearance. A little bit of fifties history. (not a bad song title)... Art

Q "I am a disk jockey, and have been one for quite a few years. My manager talked me into selling part time for the station. Sales are a horse of a different color. Last week was a bad week. No one would give me the time of the day. I'm trying a different approach this week. I need to find my routine. My manager accompanied me one day, and watching him work helped me tremendously. I feel a little intimidated by the whole act - from the initial phone call, right down to the appointment. Any pointers?"... P.B.

A First of all, sales ARE a "horse of a different color." And wearing two hats every day can be a problem. On the other side of the coin, becoming adept in sales will further your chances of staying in broadcasting longer, (especially the way our industry is growing) and could even qualify you for a management position. By the way, everyone who sells will have a bad week, no matter what his or her experience. Learn to roll with the punches. Let's see if we can dream up a crash course in radio sales. · You can't sell everybody. Many people go into business for the wrong reason. They didn't really think their venture through, have little or no long-range plans, and just wanted to create a job for themselves. Usually, they are very short on funds. Do they need to advertise? You bet they do. Let the prospect know you understand their problem. If they would buy ONE commercial a day, in the same time slot every day, and keep it on for a year, they would reap the benefits of consistent advertising. · Know and understand everything about the station you represent. The music you play. Who your audience is. Success stories. Years on the air. The strengths of your format. The effectiveness of the advertising plans. Know the competition in your market. Radio, newspaper(s), cable TV, coupon advertising, billboards, even the bulletin published by the local country club. What are their rates? Who do they reach? · A sale is the art of establishing relationships. Don't walk into a store and immediately pitch the owner. Understand their business. Their goals. When the time is right for a presentation, have a plan, a schedule, a contract, and a demo spot. A radio sales call without these ingredients is just a conversation. · Immerse yourself in sales techniques. There are numerous seminars, tapes, videos, and books on the subject. They are all good. Pick the parts that work for you. · In the end, each salesperson develops their own rhythm. The time will come when you will have heard every objection, every reason, and every lame excuse. That's when you will be able to separate a potential client from those who will be out of business in less than two years... Art

Q  "Uncle Lar' said in his closing shift when they turned CFL into a beautiful music station, that radio had stopped being entertainment and had turned into a business of suits! He was right to a large extent. Some stations kept on trying, but consultants have killed the spirit in most them… what do you think?" …. A. N.

A  I'm not sure consultants should take the brunt of the blame for the way our industry is positioned. Yes, Larry Lujak was right in his observation that radio has become a business of suits. If there is any finger pointing, it should be towards the government who deregulated radio and allowed multi station ownership in all markets. The big got bigger and the rich got richer, as the bulk of the markets fell into the hands of a few. Mom & Pop stations that focussed on the local community have all but disappeared, as did stations that pioneered esoteric programming, such as jazz, folk music, free form rock, and classical music. Today, one conglomerate can control upwards to 500 stations. In order to operate that many properties with any consistency radio needed to become a commodity. A can of beans. So, we find the same can of beans being broadcast on stations all over the country. For example, it seems all oldies stations play the same 400 songs. Who wrote that rule? Consultants have a far different role to play in this scenario. No longer are they required to make one station dominant in its market, they have to stabilize many formats simultaneously. Is there room for a "personality" today? You betcha. But they have to be damn good...Art

Q  "I'm an overnight DJ, and I am looking at getting into the Chicago radio market and would like to know how you got into Chicago radio?"…M.J.

A I drove there from Buffalo (ba da boom). The keys to the kingdom remain the same. Networking. First, decide what station you want to join. Send a resume, tape, and an introductory letter explaining your goals. You will probably get a letter back saying "thanks, but no thanks." Answer it. (Most people don't.) Find reasons to periodically correspond with your contact. If you can, visit the station, but first get an appointment for an interview. At the interview, be positive, confidant, poised, and above all, truthful. Their
offer will more than likely be hosting overnights. But, hey, that's show biz...Art

Send your questions to: Art@ArtRoberts.com

© 1999 Art Roberts Communications

Web page design by FirstStrategy.com